1Month after breakup approaching... PLEASE HELP!!!

[Blane151211]

Here's my story:

 

(This thread contains the detailed one)

 

On the 21st of this month, it's going to be a month since my ex broke up with me. I feel so much pain right now. I feel all the hurt and all the heartaches. I've been NC since Tuesday of last week after I tried to contact him the day before (It's a shame and humiliation on my part I begged him to give us a 2nd chance. He ignored my text messages and didn't return my call although I asked him to ). He's been NC over a week before I went NC.

 

I miss him so much. "Him" that I know or I thought he is or was. I miss all the times we've been together. I've been to a point right now where I blame myself for the breakup... I wish we're still together. Does he miss me too and does he think of me too?

 

I'm in a downward spiral at this time... I wanted to break the NC. I wanted to call him... I don't know what to say but I wanted to hear his voice. Please HELP!!! What do I do?

[istillluvu06]

I know how you feel, EXACTLY!!!!! I miss my ex soooo much too. If you call him then what will the outcome be? Most likely you will be in MORE pain than you are right now, cause he isn't gonna tell you what you want to hear and that is that he's gonna give you a second chance and he loves you back. Please don't contact him!!!!!! I go through this every single day, and it will only make you feel worse, trust me I've been an idiot for like 3 months now. Right now your heart is talking and you're not using your head.....Please fight the urge and keep posting here, you are NEVER alone!!!

[Blane151211]

I know how you feel, EXACTLY!!!!! I miss my ex soooo much too. If you call him then what will the outcome be? Most likely you will be in MORE pain than you are right now, cause he isn't gonna tell you what you want to hear and that is that he's gonna give you a second chance and he loves you back. Please don't contact him!!!!!! I go through this every single day, and it will only make you feel worse, trust me I've been an idiot for like 3 months now. Right now your heart is talking and you're not using your head.....Please fight the urge and keep posting here, you are NEVER alone!!!

 

My mind keeps telling my heart to let go. I know for a fact that it wouldn't benefit me a bit to contact him. But it's just that my heart is so stubborn. I wanted to call him and talk to him. That's my heart talking to me. My mind on the other hand, doesn't want to do it because it's going to be humiliating once again for me to plead... I wanted to keep my self-respect. And if I call him, that would mean, I'll hold myself back again... it means stepping backwards instead of forward.

 

But then again, I feel all the pain and the anger right now... and it is so hard.

[Chibby33]

Blaine, I am in the exact situation and it will also be a month on the 23rd since he left. He's been in my mind 24 hours even in my dreams. What's harder for me is that he has not really given a definite end to our relationship. He's still wishy-washy about it. DO NOT CALL! Let him wonder about you. That's what I did and he started to call. It's hard to let go and all that you and I are holding on is hope and strength. Good luck - let me know if you need a shoulder to cry on because we're both dealing with the same issues. Take care.

[istillluvu06]

As I sit here and post to you, I am crying and my stomach hurts and I pretty much feel like crap. I wish there was a magic fall out of love pill or something, but there isn't. I too wanna call him, but I know I just can't, it will only hurt more. If only we could fast forward our lives ahead about a year or so, would'nt that be great?? The heart is a very powerful thing, and I know how hard it is to fight what it tells you too, but you HAVE to think of your own sanity right now, ONLY you can do it.

[Blane151211]

Blaine, I am in the exact situation and it will also be a month on the 23rd since he left. He's been in my mind 24 hours even in my dreams. What's harder for me is that he has not really given a definite end to our relationship. He's still wishy-washy about it. DO NOT CALL! Let him wonder about you. That's what I did and he started to call. It's hard to let go and all that you and I are holding on is hope and strength. Good luck - let me know if you need a shoulder to cry on because we're both dealing with the same issues. Take care.

 

I feel so much pain, hurt, heartache and even anger at this point. I wanted to call him to let him know all about it. I know it's not a smart idea. I don't know what's going on with me... I'm just overwhelmed with so much pain right now... and with the thought that it's going to be 1 month anniversary of our breakup, I just miss him so much... I miss him the way I thought he was...

 

Help me guys... I need all the strength I need. My mind wanted to keep the NC.

[Chibby33]

Blaine, we will be your support. We will all cry to each other until the pain goes away. Everyone says it will pass, but the road to recovery really hurts. You feel numb and your chest is about to explode. CRY!! Cry as much as you can, and while you're crying shout out how you really feel about the breakup and everything else you wanted to tell him. SHOUT if you need to. Do not let it all inside - i cried like a baby so many days and it's harder because when he calls, it takes me 2 steps back and start hurting again because i dont know if he wants to come back or not. BE ANGRY if you have to.

[istillluvu06]

Hi Blane and Chibby.....looks like we're all in the same sinking boat! Don't worry I think there's a life preserver somewhere around here....lol

[istillluvu06]

Would'nt it be nice if we all lived in the same area and then we could form a support group to go to?? Have any of you found a group like that? When I went through my divorce 10 years ago they had a group for that, but how about a broken heart group?? Well at least we have eachother

[Chibby33]

Yes!! Together we can pull each other out of this mess. Time is all we need to heal. We will recover and come out strong - everyone else does. Keep talking about it and soon we will all look back and laugh at it. But for now, darn it really hurts!

[istillluvu06]

My situation really sucks cause I still have some ties to him, and for the longest time I think he kept it that way, Even worse is that he says he'll always love me, we were both eachothers FIRST TRUE LOVE, and were both late 30's....go figure. Hmmm I'm still holding on to the fact that we are soulmates, nobody in my life has ever made me feel this way and I guess the worst part is knowing we share the same world and are'nt together.....I pray everyday that he will come back to me. Life is just not fair and I feel soooo bad for all of you, sometimes I wish I had a broken leg as compared to a broken heart.......hmmm at least there are pain killers for that!!!! lol

[Blane151211]

My situation really sucks cause I still have some ties to him, and for the longest time I think he kept it that way, Even worse is that he says he'll always love me, we were both eachothers FIRST TRUE LOVE, and were both late 30's....go figure. Hmmm I'm still holding on to the fact that we are soulmates, nobody in my life has ever made me feel this way and I guess the worst part is knowing we share the same world and are'nt together.....I pray everyday that he will come back to me. Life is just not fair and I feel soooo bad for all of you, sometimes I wish I had a broken leg as compared to a broken heart.......hmmm at least there are pain killers for that!!!! lol

 

He went NC over a week before I did. And before I went NC, I tried to contact him... sent him text messages and left him a voicemail. It was humiliating but I asked him to give us a 2nd chance... I also asked him if he can meet me even for the last time. No replies at all from him. Then I found this site... that's when I started NC.

We're both in our 30's too. He's like 2yrs older than me. From our very first date, the attraction and chemistry was so strong. In fact, he told me that he's a single dad (he has twins... barely 2yr olds. I'm single, no kids and never been married), I accepted it wholeheartedly. Read my thread... there's my story.

 

It really sucks because I feel all the pain and anger right now. But on the other hand, I miss him a lot!!! Where are you guys, located at?

[Chibby33]

It is very difficult when he still comes into the pictiure. The last thing my ex told me when he left was "I LOVE YOU". Everytime we talk on the phone, he cries. THere are many elements that makes me so confused. A week after he left, he came with his brother. He said his brother wanted to meet me - what the heck?? Then he said he came over because he misses me. But then he wouldnt call everyday which I understand because he is trying to fix many of his other issues with family and work. I went to his work just to get an answer and he said "I'll need to think about it" and when i asked him yes or no, he couldnt say. Then lately when he calls, he calls me "honey" just like before. Then when i went to NY, he wanted me to let him know if i got there safe and when i didnt he sent me a text "where you at??". CONFUSED and HURTING!! What's your take on this??

[Blane151211]

Are you guys still together? Have you broken up or are you on a break? I'm also confused with your situation

[Blane151211]

Thanks, Ellie... appreciate it. Tonight is going to be the 4th week (4th Monday) since he broke up with me through phone. Imagine, he just left me a message (because I intentionally did not answer his call). His exact words... "I think we need to go on our separate ways. I wish you all the best things in life. End of talking! Don't call me! Don't text me! Just leave me alone... I am not mad at you. I'm sorry it didn't work out... it couldn't work out! Goodbye!". I have his words memorized... I still have his voicemail on my answering machine.

I miss him so much though... awhile ago, I wanted to burst out in tears...

[terk2021]

I know what you are going through. My fiance postponed our wedding in July while we were living together and had just about everything done for it.

 

I asked her to move out. All of my family and friends were saying to not talk to her. I should have gone NC from the start after she moved out. I have done the opposite and we kept seeing each other. We agreed last night to take a break. That's alwas a scary thought, because it usually means the end.

 

But I have seen 2 success stories where too much NC does not work. I don't think there is a pure rule for NC, but for sure not day to day contact.

 

That's a bad way to end a relationship, and maybe you don't need a guy like that. It could also be that he was having a bad day. Guys do dumb things sometime.

 

First, I would change the voice mail so you don't have to hear it anymore. Second, fire him off an email, not an angry one, but one stating that you are doing fine, and you were really worried about based on the voice mail he left you and wanted to make sure he was OK.

 

Just a thought. If you have completely moved on, than leave it at that. If you still have some loose ends or clarity you are looking for, you may get it.

[Blane151211]

I'm on the verge of breaking NC... please HELP!!!

[whoops]

why couldnt it work