can someone gain conversation skills???

[Yvette84]

I know some people are natural born conversationalists and some are not. But is it possible for someone who's not that great, learn to get better??? Meaning, how to know how to carry a conversation on, and actaully talk about many intresting topics instead of shallow things or awkward silences all the time??

[Dako]

Uh, I suppose so.

 

Do you talk to people randomly?

I'm actually shy and hate my voice, but just say whatever pops into my head if it seems pertinant, but the biggest thing is to listen well and not merely wait to talk. People really appreciate thoughtful responses, not just a parade of words.

 

Yesterday I met a stranger and we ended up talking for almost 3 hours about everthing you can imagine, such as motorbikes, sailing, French culture, food, women, cigars, wine, divorce, real estate, etc. What we had in common was a lack of education and a joy of life.

 

I once served as a bartender for a friend's parties and had a ball talking to artists and politicians about anything. It opened me up to not care about how I sounded.

 

Blah blah blah...TMI?

[law4life]

Yes, communication skills can be learned. A great start is being more observant of others, and listen more than you talk. There are great books on it at the library, etc. Good luck

[Honey Pumpkin]

Yeah, communication skills can be learned - a lot of the time, people who are called great conversationalists are the ones who ask questions, and LISTEN to the answers, who are genuinely interested in the person they are talking to, rather than worrying about their own performance!

 

That said, I met a guy, and conversation just was the easiest it's ever been - he just really understood where I was coming from, and me him, and everything was fascinating. Bit like what Dako described above, with his conversation yesterday. I don't know, sometimes that compatibility is incredible. Like you're talking about anything and everything, and not conventional things.

 

So I don't know, I think you can learn to be a better conversationalist - that's about taking your cues from the other person, less of a performance etc. But sometimes you meet someone and it's just ... incredible. There are loads of books out there. There's also this article in Psychologist Today (just googled 'how to be a great conversationalist'!) which has an article with that very title:

link removed

 

But also it's about being yourself, and not losing who you are by putting on a 'performance'. Are you anxious about the silences on the phone call still with your boyfriend, or is this something completely different?? Apologies if it's not.

 

Good luck - you're clear and interesting here, i'm sure you're just the same in real life!