Unsure of what to do with Ex

[shelly7]

Here is a synopsis of my situation: My ex and I broke up months ago, because he needed some space, he assured me it had nothing to do with wanting to be with someone else and he wanted to continue talking. Next, I found out he went away with another woman. He lied about it and I went into NC. I was devastated.

 

After a month he contacted me and finally got me to respond to him. He admitted to what he did and said he wanted to work on getting back together with me, I was thrilled and we have begun seeing each other again. However, we are taking things very slow, his choice not mine.

 

Question: Last night, a gentleman approached me and we had a nice conversation, he asked me for my number and I declined, however I took his number. I'm wondering do I innitiate a conversation with my ex about where things are going and risk scaring him off? Do I call this other guy? Do I forget about this other guy and continue on my merry way of not knowing and waiting to see what my ex will do? Do I just go out on a date with this other guy without telling my ex and see if there is a spark, before I get all worked up?

 

Any advice and etiquette in this odd turn of events is welcome. Thanks for reading.

[candywor]

Initiate conversation with ex telling him how he affected you and that you feel the relationship is on his terms even though he was responsible for the breakup.

 

Tell him since you both are taking it slow that you assume that it means that you are not committed to each other 100% and allowed to go out with other people. See how he reacts from there.

 

Don't go out with the guy behind his back. Let him know that way no one can say you deceived them later on as in the case of what he did to you.

 

Candice

[Rabican]

Whats your status with the ex? If you are back together, then the honorable thing would be to either forget the new guy, or tell your ex that you want to see him.

 

However, if you are not back 'together' you can pretty much do what you want. Why not he did. Keep in mind, if you go this route and he finds out your ex may blow things out of proportion and think your cheating on him even if you just talk to the other guy or go out for a drink.

[aymee_lee]

I understand that you have been hurt, and when another nice man asks you for your number, it's very tempting to do something about it. Also, just because you're in a relationship, it doesn't mean that you're dead- I think it's only natural to be attracted to other people.

 

All that being said...

 

If you truly want to be with your ex, regardless of the hurt he has caused you and you believe that it is worth the risk of getting hurt again, do so. But if this is truly the case, this is the thing you need to consider; why are you even asking the question?

[shelly7]

Thanks for the advice, I guess I'm putting off the inevitable of having the conversation of what exactly our status is, I do love him. I'm just having serious trust issues with him this time around, and I'm petrified of getting hurt again and beig played for a fool.

 

I agree the honorable thing to do is to find out where we stand and take it from there.

[annie24]

Whats your status with the ex? If you are back together, then the honorable thing would be to either forget the new guy, or tell your ex that you want to see him.

 

However, if you are not back 'together' you can pretty much do what you want. Why not he did. Keep in mind, if you go this route and he finds out your ex may blow things out of proportion and think your cheating on him even if you just talk to the other guy or go out for a drink.

 

I agree with rabican.

 

Actually, I think you're better off going out with this new man than you are with your ex. he lied and cheated on you before.... I wouldn't trust him again....