Ex Calling Me

[GuitarmanIII]

Well, I'm on about two weeks NC except for last

Wednesday when I spoke to the X (my bad). Perhaps that makes it 6 days NC...I don't know...lol I just know that it's darn tough. I know I screwed things up with the girl I should have married...and the grief is brutal.

 

Anyhow, she called me on Sunday, while I was golfing (I'm glad I wasn't sitting at home) and I let it ring. She left a message telling me how she had just received an email from...the x-girlfriend of her x-boyfriend. Apparently my X has now received vindication (via said other X) upon finding out that her XB was a psycho and the same kind of psycho !@#hole to all girls before and after her...(does this make sense?) She also called me yesterday and today and I let it ring.

 

The point is, while she was with me, she would constantly tell me about him and cry and so forth. I was there for her. I think she just wants to update me, and tell me how right she was about him and talk about it some more.

 

She knows that I still love her, and that I think we should be married, and that I'm on NC...yada yada. She has a boyfriend now, and I think it's HIM that she should be talking to, not I.

Would you guys answer the phone? I think it would be bad for my frame of mind.

 

Also, I find that when I'm talking with new girls, I keep comparing them to the X. I wish they were like her. I hate this...

 

Thanks all,

G

[chai714]

She knows that I still love her, and that I think we should be married, and that I'm on NC...yada yada. She has a boyfriend now, and I think it's HIM that she should be talking to, not I.

Would you guys answer the phone? I think it would be bad for my frame of mind.

 

Also, I find that when I'm talking with new girls, I keep comparing them to the X. I wish they were like her. I hate this...

 

Thanks all,

G

 

Yes, you're right - it's her boyfriend now she should be talking to you and not you. If she wants to jump from guy to guy like a frog does lilipads then refuse to be a part of her life altogether. I would have done the same thing in your case. I can see how you're still trying to emotionally detach from her by enforcing no contact - this I agree with because there's no need to keep in touch with an ex who only needs your ear.

 

It's normal to compare these new woman with your ex. It's not really a conscious process that you intentionally do. So, this is common, normal, and completely fine.

[GuitarmanIII]

Thanks Chai, I appreciate the support. Though I have implemented NC it seems like I'm missing her more and more every day (instead of less and less)...I miss her so much still. NC has been like sugically removing my heart...lol

G

[LONESOUL]

I agree, she should be telling her whoes to the new bf.

She should be his issue now.

NC works for me. My ex is whack and contact was crazy.

But for some people NC is more painful for them. I say, if you

can heal while staying in contact and it is less painful then maybe

that is what you should do. Everyone is different. Like I said

I would still be burning in that crazy fire if it were not for NC. (now it's

a stinging smoulder..)

NC has gives me the space I need to sort myself out and heal and I

really am not sure how I would have gotten this far still speaking to my very

selfish ex. My heart is broken, so for me NC is just me covering it for

a while, so it can heal. Venting, sharing, crying, laughing here at enotalone

helps so much too! Either way, you will be okay so hang in there!

Take good care

Lone

[GuitarmanIII]

Thanks Lonesole, it's a confusing story.

Again, she just called me again 5 minute ago. She's not calling me to tell me her whoes...she's happily calling to tell me how f!@cked up her X is/was and that (the time they were dating) she was the sane person. She was mentally drained becasuse of him. It sucks becasue she's got everything going for her...ie: new loving BF, redemprion regarding an XXB, and me wollowing in angst.

The message just now alludes to the hilariousness of the story, then said (laughing), 'but obviously you don't care anymore'...and hung up

But I do care!!! That's the whole problem.

I think I need to call her and YELL at her not to call me...it's the only thing I can think of. Perhaps a strong letter...or just let it be.

I have already told her how crushed I am. Does she not get it??? The more info I know the more it feed into the 'I wonder what she is doing right now' pattern of thought.

Ugh.

G