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Strange Signals With Ex-Girlfriend ?

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Hey, this is my 1st post but I've browsed the forums for a while now and been helped a lot by just reading other people's situations similar to mine, so thanks for that people!


Onto my current situation; I have been very good friends with a girl for the last 1.5 - 2 years and as recent as 4 months ago I felt that my feelings for her had grown to more than just friends type feelings. At the time though she was in a long term relationship but about 2 months ago she split with her partner and I was there as a shoulder so to speak. During this time my feelings for her grew and hers for me did too. So we decided to give a relationship a shot. However, after 6 weeks she decided that I was not who she thought I was and split up from me. Her reasons being that she didn't think I was putting enough effort into the realtionship, which to most part is due to my shyness and general lack of confidence in this area.


Anyway, the break up hurt me a little but because it was such a short relationship I felt that I didn't have the right to feel too depressed, which sounds stupid I know. Now 3 weeks on I have started to once again talk to her because she didn't want our good friendship to end. However, it seems to me that there is more going on than just friendship again because all the signs of affection for one another are still their; like prolongued stares at each other when in groups and just smiling at each other. She acts like this with me but also similarly with her long term ex when they see each other, suggesting to me she never really got over him.


My question is, what is with this behaviour? is it worth me going for her again or should I continue to just move on and look elsewhere? Whats really confusing is my feelings for her change very frequently from almost being in love with her to feeling angry at just looking at her. What's up with that? Should I be worried that if I do try and get her back that I will hurt her because my feelings are unsure?


Thanks for your time.

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Welcome to eNotalone.


The anger toward her is because she caused you emotional discomfort by breaking up with you. The being in love part stems from the hope you have for getting back together with her.


Since she may or may not be in limbo with her ex, step back from her. Refuse to compete for her attention because she's not the last woman on earth. Also, I don't believe that it's solely your choice regarding whether or not you should try to get her to be your girlfriend again. She has to agree to it and right now it does not seem likely.


So, I recommend stepping back from her and healing up a bit more. Also, I think it would be wise to seek other women as far as dating goes.


Good luck.

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Great, thanks. It is annoying to have to see so much of her as we share the same group of friends but you're right I need to look elsewhere, just needed some clarification. Shame it took me so long to get the courage to ask her out in the 1st place, long road ahead of me before I'm back in a dating situation with anyone *sigh*.


Thanks again.

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