99% healed?? I guess I'll have to take it

[GottaLetItBurn]

A little over a year later. I'm not waiting for her to call so much, not even really thinking about her all the time. Yet still for some reason since I found out she was single have peaked at her MS a few time..it's sad but I still care.

 

So I'm sitting here. I want to ask, can a person really have moved on, but still care enough to miss that person from time to time and want to see how they are doing??

 

Honest answers, I need an outside perspective. Is this healthy. You can say, oh it depends, but I need an answer like if you were my friend and telling me your advice. Could you actually tell your friend, "as long as your doing okay it's alright that you still miss her/him."

 

I just feel I'll never stop caring, but I'm at a point where I don't need to hear or see her. I just worry sometimes about her, sometimes feel sorry for her because she doesn't have a lot of good truly caring people in her life.

 

My horrible pains of wanting her to be here with me in my life have faded, really run their course through me. I just have this very small part in my heart that hasn't let her go. Would any of you call that a scar? Is this natural? Do I still have some more to go?

 

Man though, I just want to say thank you so much Enotalone. This has been a very nice place for me to come and get out my problems in writing, and read how other people just like me are going through the same thing. I believe I would still be a wreck without coming her and getting some help. That or I would have done the jack daniels route, anyway, you might say this place saved my life. Thank you soooooo much.

[friscodj]

From what I'm reading and from what I can tell beneath that, I'd say you have a little more to go here. I would say you sound to be about 70% over it...

[GottaLetItBurn]

How very very interesting. 70%.

 

That is discouraging. There used to be a time when I could see her picture and I would feel this rush of panic. Then the gut wrenching feeling that she is with some other guy. Now it's more like, "Oh, this is what she is up to now, she doesn't look like much". Then a little bit of me thinking about how things used to be, and then I close her page.

 

Hey though, I'm really glad you say that at the same time though. I don't feel like I'm where I wanna be, so I hope the next 30% will get me back to caring the way I cared before I even met her. MS sucks, it just too tempting, it doesn't feel so stalkerish also. Thanks for your feed back I appreciate it it very much.

[Moore]

Its funny you post this becuase I was just today thinking about the same issue. I think there is nothing wrong in still caring for an ex who you once loved. Unless that person is really nasty and horrible person towards you then I think its ok. It shows that you are a true speacial person for putting your differences aside and caring for your fellow mate.

 

I feel like I can now do that with my ex and its a great place to be.

[joyce1412]

So I'm sitting here. I want to ask, can a person really have moved on, but still care enough to miss that person from time to time and want to see how they are doing??

 

over the last few years i've had to cut out several people in my life, mostly bad friends, but also a guy who wasn't treating me well at the time.

 

long story short, i missed that guy so much that i did let him back into my life. it was a very difficult road back to friendship, and at times i did wonder if i still had romantic feelings for him. we go for long periods without talking and i always wonder what he's up to, and miss him terribly at times. however, when we made out this summer i realized that i was over it by the COMPLETE lack of sparks on my end!

 

so on the one hand, yeah, i DO believe you can miss a person a lot and want to know how she's doing, but still be over it. i believe that because i'm exhibit A. i really love the guy, but if he got a girlfriend tomorrow i wouldn't be disappointed in the least.

 

i also feel that you probably can't expect to just forget/not be curious about someone with whom you spent so much time. if the relationship was at all significant, which it sounds like it was, it's nearly impossible to not care a little bit.

 

however...

 

i've responded to some of your posts recently, and like frisco i don't think you're as over it as you think you are. you've indicated that you feel a lot of torment over this girl, even now. you've remarked that you feel empty and sad. because you're still burning from the things she did to you, i don't feel that you've 99% over it. even if you feel that you don't want to be with her, she's left a big impression on your psyche and you haven't really recovered.

 

so let's say frisco is right, and you're only 70% over it. now just make it your job to get over it completely. and if you want to get over it completely it's probably a good idea to NOT check up on her (i know it's tempting!) also, try devising little distractions that you can use when you start to miss her too much--walk into another room, busy yourself organizing your pantry, call a friend, etc.

 

hope that helps.