Hey.

[phil123]

Hey everyone, i'm new to this forum. Found it after a bit of googleing. Well i'll give you all some back ground info first, my names Phil. i'm 17 years old, and last year, 2005 i met a girl online, now before you think anything saying im too young to be in love or anything else, I am in love. The girl is the same age as me by the way. When we met each other it was over an online group conversation, everyone else left it and we were the last two people in the chat room. So we talked for hours, and instantly we clicked, just that spark between us in conversation. So we added each other to our lists and spoke everyday for a few months, eventually we decided something was happening between us, and we became like a cyber couple.

 

So the months passed again, and eventually we decided we have to meet up. Now me living in Northern Ireland and being 16 at this point and her living in the middle of England, it was never going to be easy to get to her. I had no money, i was and am still at school. So basically for the past year from 17th august 2005, we've been flying back and forth to each other, sometimes only seeing each other for one weekend a month. For example i wont see her from todays current date until the 11th november.

 

Recently, we used all our summer holidays to spend time with each other, luckily our parents are cool and let us stay at each others homes which is a great help, we stayed together 24/7 for 7 weeks over the summer and i had to go back to Northern Ireland because of the school terms etc, by this time next year i want to be over there with her. But recently the money issue has been popping up, we don't have a great deal of money anyway but every penny i make goes into flights to see her, every single one. I love her so much i don't care how much it costs to see her, but at the same time i need things to, i don't have much for myself now from last year and everyday when i come in, me and her will sit and talk over the computer for hours litterally on end. I'm just finding it hard to adjust to life without her again, spending 7 weeks 24/7 together does get you VERY used to each other. And i just miss her so much, it just seems so strange and a bit depressing being back home.

 

Guess i just wanted to see what other people think of my experience and it seems like the right place to put it here, so thanks

[Honey Pumpkin]

Hi Phil,

 

Sounds like one for the Long Distance Forum (LDR), where there are a lot of people in exactly the same situation as you. It sounds like things are going really well for you, in that you are managing to see each other at least fairly regularly. The distance is a problem, but at least the flights are manageable on a fairly regular basis. Not like being on separate continents, so look on the bright side! And your family is supportive, another huge plus.

 

I don't know, you have to strike the right balance between getting this relationship up and running and at the same time having your own life and not putting everything on hold for a relatively small percentage of the time. What does your g/f feel about it? And are there cheaper ways of doing the journey, eg ferry and coach rather than flying? But it sounds pretty positive to me, so good luck with everything!

[phil123]

Yea, im pretty happy that she doesnt live further away than she does. I'm very glad at that, and the flights if booked early only work out about 50 pounds per return (hard enough for a student making 60 pounds every 2 weeks.) Oh we've spoke about it, theres not too much we can do but stick things out until next year when hopefully i'll either go to uni there or work full time after a-levels. She lives in the midlands though, thats the problem with ferry. Would probably work out more expensive, but i know we're not as hard done by as some couples are.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Yea, im pretty happy that she doesnt live further away than she does. I'm very glad at that, and the flights if booked early only work out about 50 pounds per return (hard enough for a student making 60 pounds every 2 weeks.) Oh we've spoke about it, theres not too much we can do but stick things out until next year when hopefully i'll either go to uni there or work full time after a-levels. She lives in the midlands though, thats the problem with ferry. Would probably work out more expensive, but i know we're not as hard done by as some couples are.

 

That sounds okay to me, price-wise. Not cheap, and I know it's hard, but you know...manageable.

 

If you both go to University next year in England then it will be a lot easier with cheap coach travel. But I do think you have to make sure that you don't neglect your own life, either of you - you know, not just live for the times you can be together but have a social life in the meantime. That sounds a bit preachy, doesn't it? Sorry. But you're both very young, you should work on this relationship but also have fun and a life during the times when you can't be together.

 

Good luck.

[annie24]

hi - I moved this thread to the long distance forum, as you two have acutally met in real life and have a relationship! I bet some people in this forum would have helpful tips.

 

maybe for your next birthday or christmas, you can ask your family not to get you a sweater, but maybe contribute a little towards a travel fund? ok, that can be kind of tacky, but if someone asks you what you want for christmas, maybe suggest that.

 

hang in there!

[vandgsmom]

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth and some frequent flyer miles, Santa!! lol

 

It sounds like you two have it pretty much down. I know the money is an issue, as it is for us all, but you have found a way to make it work...

 

Do you always go there, or does she ever foot the bill and come to you? She is 17 now right? Maybe if yall took turns, the burden would be a little lighter...??

[elaineska]

Wow, your story sounds eerily similar to mine! You're right that it is very hard to adjust after you spend a lot of time 24/7 with that person.

 

One thing I would ask is, do you two have webcams and/ or microphones? They're not very expensive and it would help when you miss her.

 

All I can say is start a countdown for November 11th. Spend some time doing things you like to do and the time will go by fast. Maybe send her a letter or card telling her how you feel and how you can't wait to see her soon? I bet she would like that.

 

Best of luck to you!!