pregnant and confused

[katie831]

i found out on thursday that i am pregnant..i had a gut feeling i was and when i took a test it was positive.

 

i'm still undecided about what i want to do..i haven't been with my bf for that long and i really want to go to uni next year.Plus the disappointment of my family would be hard to take.

 

part of me wants the baby as i know my bf will support me in any decision i make and he says that he thinks he has something to offer as a dad.

 

also now i know im pregnant i don't know what to do?..do i go to my GP or family planning clinic?

 

im just really scared at this moment in time

xxx

[MythicDawn]

You do have many options open to you...

 

If you are wanting to raise a child, you will need to put off university for a few years which is completely acceptable. You will also need to be in a financial position to raise a child, support of your family would help as well.

 

You can put your child up for adoption if you think you will not be able to raise him properly or to the best of your ability at this time. I was put up for adoption, my mother was only 17 and I never met her but my life has turned out just fine where as i may be in a tougher situation had I stayed with her.

 

Abortion is another option which I dont personally support...

 

There is no way of hiding it... Tell your boyfriend, tell your family. They will give their opinions and/or advice then weigh out your options.

 

Then visit your GP and he will direct you from there... A support center would be more useful later in the pregnancy but your GP or other doc will direct you and help you.

 

Just know that you're not alone in this and there are many people out there to support and help you out.

 

We're here as well

[nursepatty]

If you are wanting to raise a child, you will need to put off university for a few years which is completely acceptable.

 

MythicDawn--I agree with everything that you said except the above. You can still go to university with a child it may just take a little longer to complete. But this is where your b/f and family will come in. You are going to need a lot of support.

 

Just know with abortion, you may think your prepared but you don't know until it is too late. I had a friend that asked my opinion, I told her I could never do it and I couldn't make the decision for her. She had it and regretted it everyday.

 

Talk with the people that love you.

[maasikus]

Its a very tough choice to make. Just weigh the pros and cons of each and make a decision. But do tell your family soon.

 

Good luck. We are all here for the moral support.

 

Maasikus

[Relationship Coach]

Things happen for a reason, maybe this is what was intended for you. You have a choice, your child does not.

 

RC

[Ians Mommy]

If you are wanting to raise a child, you will need to put off university for a few years which is completely acceptable.

 

It is possible to still go to college and raise a child. My fiance is in college and will still raise his son.

 

Quoting Luigi in the Super Mario Brothers movie, "Anything is possible, you just have to believe."

[katie831]

my boyfriend knows and he says that what ever i decided he will support me but when i asked him what he would do if he were me he said that he would keep it.

 

i'm so confused right now but i know everything happens for a reason and whatever i decide it will bring my boyfriend and i closer

 

thank you for all your advice

xxx

[southerngirl]

It may or may not bring you closer. I can say that I too got pregnant young, I was 19.. My son is now 8 , to be 9 in nov.. and I survived it.

 

Have you talked to your family about it? Do you think they will be supportive?

 

Also encouraging, I have a friend that had a baby at 21, by then she had not yet started school but she did... She now has a 6 year old and a bachelors degree in interior design. She applied for scholerships and stuff, and went to night school and she did it, you can too!

[Hope75]

Hi There Katie,

 

I think before you make any drastic decisions it is important that you explore all your options so that you can make the choice that is best for you. Do you have any Planned Parenthood Clinics or similar parenting/teen parent clinics in your area where you can go and talk to a counselor about what your options are?

 

It's good to hear that your bf will be supportive of you no matter what you choose...and you can definitely still go to college while you have a child- there are som moms in my class who have 4 children! Two just delivered babies (both had two children already under the age of 4) this summer in between semesters, so if you have the love and support behind you, you can certainly do that.

 

Look into that a little bit more (like does the college you wish to attend have child care? Part time enrollment/night/weekend programs, a parenting clinic for some counseling on your options) and see what sounds best for you at this time.

 

Do you think that, after some initial disappointment, your parents would come around and be supportive of you?

[MythicDawn]

MythicDawn--I agree with everything that you said except the above. You can still go to university with a child it may just take a little longer to complete. But this is where your b/f and family will come in. You are going to need a lot of support.

 

My mistake, if you have the b.f or family to help take care of a child. But to be studying while doing your best to raise a new born is so far from easy, especially if the child turns out to be fussy or often ill...

 

But yes, it is possible - Sorry.

[honey_bee]

KIDS ARE A GIFT, AND IT'S UP TO US. TO UNWRAP THAT GIFT.

I really hope you pick the right choice for your self . GOOD LUCK

[katie831]

something really weird happened tonight i was at a gig and i am 6 weeks pregnant and i started to feel sick...which is normal because of morning sickness and that but then i fainted!

 

do you think there could be something wrong?

xxx

[BornToResist]

It's worth a doctor's visit.

 

But honestly, your body goes through so much during pregnancy that it's not unheard of.

 

Have you taken any prenatal vitamins? Your body is being depleted of important nutrients BIG TIME, and this will cause you to feel weak and faint. It is very important that you get on some vitamins as soon as possible because it will help you and your baby out a lot.

 

You can get them from your doctor, or buy them over the counter. Just make sure they are high in folic acid.

[katie831]

yeah that is probably it..im a vegetarian and anemic as well so probably low vitamin and iron levels did it..

it just really worried me

xxx

[Hope75]

Did you see a doctor?

 

Fainting is NOT normal, even during pregnancy.

 

I hope you did or that you plan to.

 

Something else to consider is a nutritionist. A vegetarian diet is a little trickier meeting the nutritional needs of the baby and your body during pregnancy- but it can be done- you need extra protein during pregnancy as well as other nutrients.

 

Have you talked to your OB about being a vegetarian?

[g44]

i just thought this would be something that might help you during this time...i recently downloaded this amazing song called 'shelter' by the band bedouin soundclash...the song is told from a man's point of view...his woman has become pregant...by another man...and she is in hiding...and he is trying to comfort her - telling her - its ok...she can come home...one of the most amazing songs i have ever heard....

[katie831]

tonight i have got to tell the father that i am going to get an abortion

 

he will be crushed as he really wants it and because of it he is getting his life back on track

 

i wish i could keep it but i have school and university and this will seem really selfish but i don't want to miss out on my youth and all the fun that everyone else will be having

 

i know i'll regret it though...i just feel that i cant give my all to a baby right now, and that would not be fair on the child

[southerngirl]

i know i'll regret it though...i just feel that i cant give my all to a baby right now, and that would not be fair on the child[/Quote]

 

Then dont do it. You have other options. Have you discussed this with your parents? His?

 

There is also adoption as an option. You can give the child the life you arent ready to give to him/her yet.

[katie831]

no only if i decided to keep the baby would we tell our parents

 

i could never give up a baby, i don't think my boyfriend would allow it anyways.

i have two options to keep it or have a termination

 

i'm just fed up of feeling ill all the time, i'm 8 weeks and if i am to get rid of it id rather it be earlier on than later

 

i just feel that i have nothing to give to a baby

[ImThatGirl]

tonight i have got to tell the father that i am going to get an abortion

 

he will be crushed as he really wants it and because of it he is getting his life back on track

 

i wish i could keep it but i have school and university and this will seem really selfish but i don't want to miss out on my youth and all the fun that everyone else will be having

 

i know i'll regret it though...i just feel that i cant give my all to a baby right now, and that would not be fair on the child

 

 

1. How fair is it that he doesn't have an option in this?

 

2. You wish you could keep it. You are being selfish. Missing out on your youth and the fun that everyone else will be having. Sheesh.

 

To each their own. If you're sure you can't be what a mother should be . . . .

 

I was 22 when I had my son. I was 25 when I had my daughter. I've been single since I was 25. I completed college (with help of friends and family) and moved closer to the city. Life is easier without children. But children are enlightening little angels... A blessing.

 

Good luck with your decision...

[ImThatGirl]

 

i just feel that i have nothing to give to a baby

 

Honestly, a baby needs love, nurturing, constant care, attentiveness, shelter, and food.

 

They say people who wait until "they have everything to give a child," most likely will never have a child.

[katie831]

to be honest i think we both would make rubbish parents at this point in our lives, i don't think it is fair to bring up a child with a dad who hasnt got a steady job and smokes a lot of weed.

we haven't been together very long and if we break up i don't know what would happen

i'm still at school and all my family have their hopes pinned on me to go to uni and make something of myself, rather than end up like my parents, stuck on benefits, in a council house hating each other.

[ImThatGirl]

I didn't mean to be completely harsh. But I hope that you realize that when there is a will, there is a way.

 

I'm worried about you and how going through with this will affect you.

[southerngirl]

katie, sorry but you are being selfish.

 

If your motivation is that you have nothign to give the child because you want to continue with your life then give the baby away. At this point you are 8 weeks and that baby has a heart beat.

 

Of course, I will say I am pro choice, but if you were going to do that you should just do and not wait this long.

 

The father of the child does not want you to do this? Doesnt he have rights too that is his baby you are carrying in there. Trust me if you do this you could be ending the relationship as well, do you want to give that up?

 

YOu can continue your education and have a child. You should tell your parents, you are only 19 and while you may be a legal adult you are very much still a child. Sorry thats how i see it.

 

I was 19 and became pregnant with my first son, 27 before I had my 2nd. Why did I wait so long? because my first came too soon that that doesnt mean I dont love him. He has changed me for the better.

 

The primary reason I say that you shouldnt do this is that you already are saying you dont want to do it. If there is any doubt at all about doing it, do not do it! YOu will end up being one of the many many woman that made that choice and regretted it later.

 

The woman that can get over it and handle the loss are those that were SURE it was the best decision to make. Can you really do that?

 

I will add though, that if you do decide to do it, I and others will be supportive of whatever you decide.

[Hope75]

Hey There Katie,

 

You sound like you have some good reasons for reconsidering this pregnancy. Talking to a teen parenting clinic (like Planned Parenthood) about all of your options would be a good idea before you make any final decisions.

 

Try to remember that no matter what advice you are receiving, that ultimately this is YOUR decision and YOU will live with the consequences of your choice. You have to do what is best for you. If this is not the time to be raising a child, and you feel this guy and you are not ready to be parents, that is your choice.

 

Hang in there, kiddo.