is my jealousy normal or am I paranoid?

[Wendy74]

I have been with my boyfriend for a few years. He is a wonderful man, and I'm upset because I have some jealousy issues. First of all, once in a while, if he'll run accross a link to look at a beautiful woman online (usually in fetish gear or something), he will look at it. He doesn't buy the mags or look at online porn or seek this out more than that, however. This makes me insanely jealous. I feel badly because even though I know he thinks I'm beautiful, I feel bad if he looks at another woman. Is this just normal guy behavior? Am I being paranoid?

 

Also, he spent a few months out of the country last year for school. While there, he met a female friend, with whom he had dinner a couple of times. I absolutely trust that he was not interested in her. She was not interested in him, either, as she had a fiance. Again, I was extremely jealous, and he even stopped hanging out with her because I was so upset. I feel like I was being paranoid and took a friend away from him. Was I right to oppose this situation? Was he wrong to hang out with this woman?

[rose2summer]

Hey Wendy,

 

I think it's normal for a man to look at pictures of women,

 

For me personally, I find no problem with it,

 

Now if they are oogling woman while with me,

 

Then that's a huge problem and I won't tolerate it,

 

With regards to your bf's friend,

 

If he was spending a lot of alone time with her,

 

Then it would be problematic in my opinion,

 

He has the right to spend time with people,

 

But if you feel uncomfortable about it,

 

And he stopping seeing her,

 

Then he really cares about you,

 

I wouldn't worry about it,

 

Jealousy can attack us all at 1 time or another,

 

Hugs,

 

Rose

[Day_Walker]

You already know that you have jealousy issues and it seems that you have a man who is willing to do what it takes to nip any jealousy that you have in the bud. I think that you need to keep your jealousy in check as much as you can, what he has done seems normal to me.

[Rabican]

In your situation id say 80% paranoid, 20% justified. Id be a little put off by him having dinner with the girl out of the country.... but if it was just a plutonic friendship thing... then no big deal. As long as hes honest about it, i wouldnt have worried too much.

[totally depressed n confus]

im not sure if i posted this in the right spot but here goes a long story. i met my bf when i was in hs n from the beginning he had a promiscuous "friend" whom he stayed the night with VERY VERY frequently. He also would let me drive 30 minutes to his house, knowing I was comnig, and be gone for the night with her and no phone calls. She would call late at night and even on her birthday one night came was gone from 7pm til 930pm the next day and her phone was off the hook. I even agreed to moce to FL w him and two days before we left caught him over there with her at 330am. She tried to fight me so I left and he gave her my cell number so she could call and say mean stuff to me and stayed there for another hour after this. He has lied to me many times about being with her ad about other females calling him and hanging with him. I found out he cheated with one girl and I moved back from Fl. I have recently after so much STILL continued stress from this one particular female, told him I cant handle his friendship with her and it was either me or her. I ended up mving back to FL for him two times based on the promise he would not lie or talk to her anymore and both times he has failed me. He never compliments me or takes me out much. I dislike going anywhere with him anyway because he is constantly checking out other females....which has been a problem since the beginning and I have told him many times but he still does it. I am only 20 years old and have lost 94 pounds because of him and after dropping 50 pounds he told me he didnt even notice. He didnt even tell me happy anniversary....ever. A few good things have been out of this but I am currently trying to break it off with him. He calls everyday and begs me to be with him but he is also still friends with this girl. But I have caught him takling to phone sex lines and other women from online with the same area code. I know I sound ridiculous but he HAD to have been cheating with multiple women right? He said he cheated once and that he only wants me. This does not even begin the story of what he has put me through but I want to believe him so badly. Please let me know if my jealousy is justified or if it's possible he isn't lying??