spouse/girlfriend wants to join the reserve

[markfromark]

what would you do if your spouse or girlfriend wants to join the reserve?

S/he will be gone for 2 weeks every year and possibly be asked to go oversees for many month on dangerous missions.

In addition you don't like the military to begin with. Is this a reason to split? Who wants to live with/love someone who puts his/her life in such a danger?

The same would apply for someone who wants to be a police officer.

If those *career* wishes come up while you are in a relationship and you don't want to prevent your partner from living life the way s/he wants to, then how can you life in a situation like this?

[Beec]

You choose. And then you live with the choice you make, in most cases. You end the relationship, you let them do as they wish, or you prevent them from doing as they wish, in which case they may resent you. Those are the choices, and you make one. If you don't like your choice, then you may be able to change it, once.

[Luck of the Irish]

Hold up skippy. Let's not generalize here. For one, I'll need ALOT more information to give an opinion. Is your partner female? If so, she will NOT be allowed into any "dangerous" jobs. What branch is she going into? If she joins the Coast Guard Reserves, the chances of a "dangerous mission" are less than that of getting struck by lightning. What is her job? If she works with say, computers, you again, have a greater chance of getting struck by lightning than dying in combat. She is not going to turn into a baby killer. And yes, there is a possibility of going overseas. But she won't be in a trench aiming an M4 at the closest terrorist. She will be working with computers, or fixing helicopters. The military will PAY for ALL of her college through the Montgomery GI Bill. Not to mention enlistment bonuses, insurance, and world class job training. And pride. No other job can give you that except a police officer or firefighter perhaps. Our country was built on people making this exact decision, so either fully support her, or get out of her way!

 

I have a lot of knoweldge in this area, so feel free to ask me here or PM me.

 

I need the following though:

-What branch of service?

-Are you guys married or dating? Any kids?

-What jobs are she interested in? (I can tell you how long she will be gone for training, and maybe the possibility of being deployed)

[markfromark]

-What branch of service?

 

army(?) reserve

 

-Are you guys married or dating? Any kids?

 

dating currently, but this might happen in a few years at which point we could be married. No kids (yet).

 

-What jobs are she interested in? (I can tell you how long she will be gone for training, and maybe the possibility of being deployed)

 

nursing, she is a nurse right now.

 

 

 

I just don't like the idea of her potentially being gone for a long time AND be put in harms way. I could imagine that hospitals set up by the army are not immune to being blown up.

[bebecole]

im in the coast guard reserves! its a great deal!!

but what branch is she going into ????

if theres a unit or base close to your home she most likely will be stationed there.

you shud support her in her decision either way, my boyfriend is in the marines and ive been there for him since the day he left for basic..

its your choice if you want the relationship to work, and you have to decide if its worth it..

because in a military relationship BOTH partners have to want it to work, cuz if one doesnt, their out..

[Luck of the Irish]

Okay, looks like I can get you some better advice now. Looks like she is going into the Army Nurse Corps as an officer? Correct me if I'm wrong anywhere. Since she is already a RN, she will be gone 2 weeks at a time, 4 times a year for initial reserve officer training. This is NOT bootcamp. After all the training, she will report to an Army Reserve center close to where you guys live. Then she will drill 2-3 days a month. Is she prior service? I'm not an officer, and don't know too much about the process. The time I listed is a bare minimum of when she will be away from you. The chances of her getting deployed (especially as on officer in charge of a medical detachment, or attached to a medical unit) are very high. Dangerous? Yes. As dangerous as any other job out there. Not so much as infantry, or other front line units, but still very hazardous. This is a GREAT opportunity, and it will complement her civilian career very well. Good luck! If you have any more questions, please ask. I have access to alot of information at the moment, and I'm very bored, so ask away. All of this is just what I know off the top of my head. I'll pop up from time to time.

 

I'm sure you know all this stuff, but research never hurts.

 

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Edit: If she decides to straight up enlist (instead of officer) into a medical MOS, she will be gone 10 weeks for basic training, and then anywhere from 2 - 6 months for advanced job training. Everyone goes through the same training on the enlisted side. Doesn't matter if you are the Surgeon General, they will retrain everyone (despite experience or civi training) the Army way. After that she will drill 2-3 days a month at a Reserve center close to you. Chances of getting deployed are high.