relationship above 35

[markfromark]

Are you someone with a very clear vision of your life? Have you tried to date someone who also has a clear vision of his/her life?

 

Do you think it is possible to have a relationship if your vision don't line up?

 

I think couple who get together in their 20s have it somewhat easier because they can develop their way of life together. When people in their mid 30s or later try be in a relationship it seems to be much harder to find someone to *fit* into ones life.

So either you find someone who adapts more or less or you find someone you matches perfectly.

Any thoughts?

[hazlcha]

Good points, I think. There is a certain growing difficulty as you get "set in your ways" in opening your life to someone else.

 

That is countered by the increasing desire to finally settle down that may make the couple work harder to overcome their differences. I've found that the hardest age girl for me to date is around 28. Not yet feeling too much pressure, but getting accustomed to being independent. I suppose I was - and may still be - the same way.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

I agree.

 

i think relationships are harder in your 30's because you are more set in your ways. Also, if you are in your 30's and still dating you have pretty much seen it all (or at least i have..lol) and my tolerance is much much lower then it was when i was in my 20's.

[Beec]

I found it much easier as I got to and passed 35. I really rarely was without someone to date, had a few relationships with wonderful and grogeous women, and then found the one. So, I must disagree.

[Down-In-A-Hole]

I would disagree. How does one expect to have a successful relationship of any sort without a firm knowledge of self beforehand? Isn't the favorite motto in verious self-help books claim that "you must love yourself before you can love another?"

[Batya33]

Knowing yourself is not the same thing as set in your ways. I know 20 year olds who are rigid and 40 year olds (like me!) who are constantly learning and open to learning (especially from my significant other, a very wise and insightful person indeed).

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

Knowing yourself is not the same thing as set in your ways.

 

i couldn't agree more.

[Momene]

I've found that life throws changes at you (good and bad) even into your 50s, so I don't really see the point. My reality now and my vision 30 years ago are totally different.

 

I couldn't have imagined discussing problems on the Internet for a start!

[Jane0815]

Ah, well, I think you've got a bit of either/or thinking going on there. The others here have rounded it out a bit for you.

 

Right now I seem to meet a lot more men than I did in my 20s. Most of them are ready to settle down and start families, which isn't what I want. Have you heard of the third-date rule? These guys aren't in any hurry for sex - the third date is when they introduce a woman to mommy.

[Momene]

I actually found I became almost a babe magnet when I turned 30 and was always considered a nerd before.