starting to resent grandmother

[MissJBug]

ok...my grandmother lived by herself... and i went down almost everday...my mother and i had a fine time with her...

 

she got off of the ventilator and they said she only had 2 weeks to live...so we brought her home and things have been hell ever since.... she got so use to us its like....

 

"get me Ice-t...".... no...i want more ice in it....blah blah

 

i thought my gram was great...than i found out what she did in the past...she had an alcoholic husband and they use to really abuse my mom and my aunt... she never said shes sorry for any of it...my mom has no teeth cuz she never let her brush them...my gram let my grampfather rape them...stuff i just never knew... just NEVER ever thought...

 

now my grams like thinking i guess "well there getting money for my house being sold...so i guess they owe me"

 

i see my mom downstairs crying all the time...she had to take care of my grampfather and my gram when she was a young 12 year old...and now shes a 50 yr old and has to take care of her again...and my gram totally changed...

 

im trying so hard to just take it...shes been living with us for 8 months now...and she lives in my room with me...my room just goes back a little so i have my privacy./..but no door..... she hockers a lot and she picks her noise and for INstance...the other day..."i want crackers iwth my soup..." ok we get her crackers .. "i dont want THESE Crackers i want THose ones that are dark".... ok we get the dark ones "I Like the ROUND ones not the rectangle ones"....

 

i just wanna say F*CK YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

 

i mean COMMON...be glad ur not in a nursing home....

we go out and shes like "well i guess ill sit here and rot...OMG u can come with us if you want....

she dont come with us cuz she will have to go to the bathroom and she wont go anywhere but home...well TO BAD....we arent putting a hold on our lives cuz you dont wanna go to the BATHROOM somewere else...

 

and she makes us feel bad when we go out...

 

god give my mother and i strength... please!

[DBL]

Both my grandmothers were not so nice to me. The first one that died I laughed as they scooped the dirt on her grave. My father hit me for it, but I guess it was justified...she wasn't too nice to me or my family.

 

My other grandmother died all alone, no smpathy here for her either. I tried visiting her every month, but then she accused me of stealing her keys. They just fell off her dressor, they were there the next month I visited. However she told the whole family I stole them. That was my last visit. She died...no big deal...she got the last laugh though...she was buried on my birthday..so instead of having a party I had to go to bury her, but hey...unlike when I was a kid and laughed when dirt was thrown on my other grandmother, this time I got to throw dirt on her face.

 

I wouldn't do anything for her. I would just make the rest of her life as miserable as possible.

 

DBL

[ElektraHere]

Nice what a way to care! Are you saying this for shock value or are you really an uncaring, unemotional, immature young boy?

[DBL]

Nice what a way to care! Are you saying this for shock value or are you really an uncaring, unemotional, immature young boy?

 

No I can think of better things for shock value. Only two things in this world that really gets my sympathy...abused kids and abused animals.

 

You look at it as uncaring, unemotional. Not really the case. Some people don't deserve to be treated with any respect. So you think I'm a young boy? Should I take that as a compliment?

 

DBL

[ElektraHere]

No I can think of better things for shock value. Only two things in this world that really gets my sympathy...abused kids and abused animals.

 

You look at it as uncaring, unemotional. Not really the case. Some people don't deserve to be treated with any respect. So you think I'm a young boy? Should I take that as a compliment?

 

DBL

 

I think that even if they werent nice you can still have enough couth to show some respect. If it werent for them YOU wouldn't be here.

[DBL]

I think that even if they werent nice you can still have enough couth to show some respect. If it werent for them YOU wouldn't be here.

 

I didn't ask to be here, so that is not my responsibility or problem. I only show respect for those that show it to me, else I could care very little about what happens to someone.

 

I'll give a good example...there was this guy Stan. What an jerk this guy was..not just to me but to others as. Just a trouble maker that like to cause problems everywhere he went. I always said to friends and myself..."that guy needs to die". Hey guess what? He died last year, snapped his neck in a car accident. No regrets...it is one less jerk I have to deal with. Does that add anything to your shock value?

 

DBL

[ElektraHere]

I wont even dignify that with a comment.

[DBL]

I wont even dignify that with a comment.

 

I don't see what is so different in the way I think and the present and past presidents of this country have thought. I wished a few to die, yes. However I am not the one behind sending men to death in WWI, WWII, etc. You know they are going to die and there is no regret by our country. So why try to dignify my comment when killing has been the history of the United States and every other country out there.

 

DBL

[jtoli]

MissJ...Hugs to you and your family. When you mentioned that your mom cries, I can only imagine all of the mixed emotions she must be going through. I know you are shocked about all the new information you were told, but I don't think it was nessassarily there to hurt your view of your grandmother or to confuse you. Your mother is probably needing an outlet-someone to talk to just like you do. Have you talked with a grief counselor or someone from Hospice? I know lots of times this is usually set up b/f the patient leaves the hospital. If not than it can be discussed with her physician. What type of illness does she have if I may ask? Are there any comfort care measures in place? Your grandmother is probably going through the stages of preparing herself for her death, and depression is one of them.

Even if she was the most nasty human being to your mother, your mother still cares for. If not your grandmother would be socked away in a nursing home. No, I take it that your mother and you are compassionate human beings trying to make the best of a very difficult situation. It's normal to feel completely frustrated when caring for the sick, but that's part of being human. If you haven't can you imagine how your grandmother must feel? Her illness has obviously debilitated her and knowing that her body is shutting down probably doesn't make her feel warm and cozy. Everyone handles death and dying differently-Her way is not abnormal or uncommon. How do you think you would handle your own death?

My only hope is that if your mother harbors these feelings about the past in her heart, perhaps it's important to make peace b/f her passing. Good luck.

[RelaxByWater84]

I know what you mean my gramma is so hard to get along with. I went to see what type of tea she wanted and asked me where is my tea in an irratated voice. I was so mad at her. She told me how to make tea. Then she tries to make it and ends up burning herself and she claims it was my fault. My mom ends up defending me she told my gramma that she taught me to make tea properly. Oh then gramma asked my weight and wouldn't let it go until she saw she wouldn't get it out of me. So I know how it feels to have a gramma like yours. Hope it helps knowing that you aren't the only one dealing with this situation.

[MissJBug]

My grandmother is suffereing from continuous conjestive heart failure...

 

we promised her she would never go into a home...and we are keeping our promise...

 

its kiunda like...were not mad at my gram...its like..were fed up with a lot because my father just got a liver transplant and he had something called encepalopathy for 15 years... its from hepatitis c...its when your brain inflammes and you get exactly like ozzy ozborne but back to a baby... he was so bad to were the hospital knew our names and so did the paramedics when we called...

 

we would be sleeping and it got so bad to were we had to take turns and sleep with him because he would take off his clothes and just walk out and down the street naked... and most of his life he dont remember any of it... i missed a lot of school...was very tired for many years.... and the worste part is...my fathers new liver is wearing off and he needs another one in a year and a half...

 

its like...when does the sickness ever end...

 

i got diagnosed with chrones disease and they think i have something else...because i have been throwing up for 3 months EVERY ...SINGLE..>DAY.... i got my own problems....

 

fact of the matter is... were going to keep catering to my grandmother... were going to b!tch about it...were gonna pull out our hair...

 

but your right when you say its depression...she dont live in her house anymore...she lives with us...

 

but dam%n it...its so hard....its soooo hard...not even for me...GIVE ME ALL OF IT... ILL TAKE ALL THE SADNESS AND STRESS...but when my mother... has a tear in her eye....

 

the world better watch out.... because thats when i get angry

[RelaxByWater84]

Awww, I'll pray that everything gets better. I hope your dad and gramma get better. Rest assured that the area you live in has some of the best hospitals around. Hope everything will get better.