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NC - 2nd contact. Quite a turn around.


river dog
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How bizarre...

 

Yep, and I'm not making it up, if anything I am playing it down a little. Don't think she's used to being ignored but it was no game for me. Really tough and it's going to get tougher yet.

 

I was planning to break NC tomorrow with a lot less than this as a possible outcome. I gave up worrying about it last night, and started to move on with my life this morning. Even cleaning up the house and making an effort to get back into my work.

 

They must have a 6th sense - just as folks say. We'll see where it heads but I am going real slow.

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I read your post. Good job River. But I would get ready for any offensive she tries to pull as a result. She may try again just to try to get you interested again, only to back off again. I've seen it happen a lot on this forum. And my ex did it too. Whereas you may have felt like crap the first time around, the second time when they try to string you along is exponentially worse.

 

Wishy washy people stink. Be careful.

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River Dog - you have a "nice" problem which is that the ball is in her court...you're comfortable with where you are...she probably "needs" to react.

 

Stay calm, keep positive and be prepared for anything.

 

Love the story and can't wait to hear the next chapter! Good luck.

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I read your post. Good job River. But I would get ready for any offensive she tries to pull as a result. She may try again just to try to get you interested again, only to back off again. I've seen it happen a lot on this forum. And my ex did it too. Whereas you may have felt like crap the first time around, the second time when they try to string you along is exponentially worse.

 

Wishy washy people stink. Be careful.

 

just to back her up on that, belle was one of the few people who cautioned me when my ex came around again. she turned out to be right--he was completely stringing me along, even though some other members, my friends, and even myself couldn't see it at the time.

 

while i do hope it works out for you, i was certainly fooled. just like she apparently had a sixth sense for realizing that you were ignoring her and moving on, she may also know just what to say to reel you in, even if she doesn't want you back.

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she may also know just what to say to reel you in, even if she doesn't want you back.

 

Even the dumper needs reassurance that the other person isn't moving on. In order to recreate safety in their minds, some will go to great lengths to play with the dumpee's heads to make sure they could still have them if they want them. Then they'll go back to their hole. And if you fall for it you'll feel really bad. The best thing is to be aloof and wait until they explicitly say they want to get back together. And even then, be very very cautious. I've seen that a lot on here too only for the person who said it to bail hte next day. It's all a part of the same reassurance fest.

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Some will go to great lengths to play with the dumpee's heads to make sure they could still have them if they want them. Then they'll go back to their hole

 

Granted but I must take that chance with this girl. No ex of mine was ever the same. I never chased any of them before. Some chose not to mess with my head, many came back, some stayed for a while.

 

If she goes back into her "hole" - then I will know but I can take it. Trust me, I will not be back here whining if it doesn't work out. I will just let you know, one way or the other.

 

At the moment, I have the ball and I am in control.

 

"Hole", "wishy-washy", "stinky" - is this a women I am interested in or a sewer rat? Don't answer that

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There are better ways of handling things.

 

I hear you and I haven't forgotten. I remain suspicious as well. Thanks for putting that back on the radar. She was chatting to him in a bar and she had been working with him when we broke up. I have no evidence of anything else as yet. My paranoia may or may not have played a part.

 

I cannot look through the glass darkly nor put the rosy specs back on.

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well, it seems like you're gonna go for it despite the risks. maybe you're one of those guys who has to try it even at the risk of great failure just so you know you gave it your best shot. i can't blame you, i was the same way when i let my ex back into my life again. i let him back in under different pretenses ("closure" and whatnot) but i think i just needed to feel like i had exhausted all possibilities to bring him back to me.

 

that said, it really hurt a lot. it hurt to see that i was still attracted to him. it hurt to hear his voice and notice all his little mannerisms. it hurt to smell him, to remember what his eyes looked like. christ, it killed me just to remember the little gaps between his front teeth. it all hurt so badly remembering all that i loved about him and thinking it was mine once more, only to have it taken away all over again.

 

i really hope it doesn't go the same way for you. i really, really do.

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