Sex Difficulties

[CptWorried]

I am in serious trouble. I have been dating my girlfriend for about 15 months now... she has never had an orgasm during sex. I dont really know what I am doing wrong. She moans real loud, but never finishes... I don't know what to do, is it cause I'm not sexy enough, or is it cause my penis is too small, or am i just sucky in bed... she says its her not me, but I find it hard to believe. Someone please help. we are both 18 and she leaves for college on saturday. UGH

[heloladies21]

Try giving her oral and get her talking and telling you more of what she likes in bed while you're doing it.

[yvonne0033]

well, first of all, she's 18. thats really young for a girl, a girl will not have an orgasm until she's really experienced and knows her body. its more of a mentally and passion and knowing how to manipulate your body and soul. Its not because your penis is too small or you are not pushing long enough or hard enough. its not even like that........

i think you can try the whole foreplay, oral sex, toys etc... i mean its really not because you suck. its really she and you both need to understand how 2 make eachother comfortable =)

[aymee_lee]

I agree with Yvonne.

 

I used to be exactly like your gf. I would get so close and then...nothing. But as I got older things changed. It's like I wasn't so uptight about the whole deal (It's amazing sometimes how you think you know how you feel and later on you realise it wasn't quite like that at all!)

 

And now that I'm older it's not a problem at all. I'm not saying I have a 100% strike rate (if only!) but it's definitely not an issue. I'm sure things will get better with time. Just enjoy it

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Ha....18 year old girls so CAN orgasm through intercourse alone...I do!

 

Hey Hey...stop worrying, it's unfortunately very common for women not to be able to orgasm during sexual intercourse.

 

It's all about cloitoral stimulation. Try the CAT - Coital Alignment Technique. In other words, when you are on top of her, try to manoerve yourself so that the base of your penis makes contact with her clitoris when you thrust into her.

 

Another good position is her lying on top of you, this way she can move her self to wherever feels best.

 

And a final thought . . . I could never orgasm through sex either, it takes practice for women to be able to orgasm during sex. In my case, it took about 3 months of practice with the right partner to "get it" - but I now have an 80% success rate, so don't worry.

[Süsser Tod]

Stop thinking about your penis as your only sexual organ, if anything, it is the least effective.

 

Your mind/imagination is the most important one, then your mouth/lips and your hands. Penis is clumsy and doesn't have the same ability you have on your hands and tongue. Think about it, lovemaking is not only stiking in your penis and doing the good old in-out motion.

 

By the way, relax and enjoy. That is the most important. If you focus all of your attention into getting her to orgasm, instead of focusing on pleasure, it won't happen.

[Karibo]

She is not lying when she says it's her and not you. I only orgasmed twice during sex with my ex of three years and we had sex alot! And believe me, for women, it's not the be-all end-all, having an orgasm.

 

My problem was I found it really hard to concentrate - i was having so much fun having sex, that i wasn't even concentrating so much on how it felt down there lol.

 

Also I think what's helped me alot is since I broke up with him three years ago i have been using vibrators (without the vibration lol) frequently and it really helps a girl get used to coming that way (viginal orgasm, oposed to clitoral).

 

Clitoral stimulation always has to occur with most women too, so have her touch herself as you are having sex.

[Cardinal]

How easily does she orgasm by herself? Sometimes it can be hard, but I think it is best to take the pressure off of her and not worry about achieving one before you head off to college. Time pressure is not a good thing in this situation.

 

I know how you feel. I don't have a lot of experience sexually and felt that if I did I would probably have a better understanding of how to bring women to orgasm. I still feel that way since I so highly value experience when it comes to sex.

 

It helped for me to look at it a lot like having an ED problem. You need to support her just like she would/does if you couldn't get it up. The situations aren't quite analogous, but I think it does emphasize that you should not be thinking in terms of your own lack of ability to give her an orgasm.

[CptWorried]

Thank you everyone, you've given me much more confidence and reassurance... I feel muh better.

[vandgsmom]

yes, Yes, YEs, YES!!!!

 

I totally agree with all the above advice. Great sex is a total package that starts with foreplay and ends with you making sure you did whatever you could to help finish her off after you are done if not before. There are a thousand possible variations on the theme, and as long as you pick one of them, she will be doing her When Harry Met Sally impersonation sooner than you think...