What is with this woman's head???

[Clementine orange]

OK so first time poster here, long time lurker. I'm a single 36 year old male. A little background first. "Samantha" and I were together for about a year. We broke up, fairly mutually, because I was too busy and non-attentive (in her opinion) and I thought she was controlling and too needy (my opinion) Probably the truth is somewhere in between. That was over two years ago.

 

After a couple months NC we got back in touch. We emailed alot and have recently started getting together for lunches, coffees etc. Not dating as such just spending time together - hug and kiss hello and goodbye but nothing more. A few weeks ago she made it clear that she was interested in a "friends with benefits" type arrangement with me. In a general way this sounds like a good idea to me as I am still superbusy and don't really have time to build a relationship. I miss sex and intimacy but have no time to pursue it etc. I've got time to have it but not time to find it (I hope that makes sense) Here seems a pretty ready-made solution.

 

Recently Samantha and I had 2 pretty heavy make-out sessions and seem to be heading quickly in the direction of starting to sleep together. I find it odd but interesting to be treading on familiar grounds again. We have both been with others since the breakup, in my case it was a few "fling" type things that didn't last longer than a few weeks or months (or um days) - nothing serious. From what she told me I'm guessing it was the same for her.

 

However, for some reason she seems to find it necessary to tell me all about her other men. I don't really like this and have told her but she still does it. I think she is trying to make me jealous or else she has to prove something to me - that she is attractive to other men etc. I do get a little jealous actually, but don't begrudge her her past (how can I really?) but I don't really think I want to hear about it. She seems to want to clear the air or something. I think that might be BS and she just gets a kick out of watching me squirm a bit (which I'm really trying to hide). She seems to want to pass herself off as some kind of femme fatale or something. It's dumb actually.

 

I'm thinking of ditching the whole idea actually as her "confessions: are annoying and stupid. Samantha knows I have been with others (she point blank asked me and I reluctantly told her the bare minimum - I'm not the bragging/kiss and tell type of person)

 

So what is enotaloners take on this? Is she being a b*****, enjoying making me squirm a bit, is she trying to prove something? Is she playing head games and why? What can she gain by telling me things about her other men?

 

I'm getting really fed up with this.

 

Thanks for any and all responses

[Viper62382]

If you dont want a commited long term relationship with her, and it doesnt bother you THAT much, then you can continue with whatever is between you both, but if you are looking for more with her one day, you need to tell her the truth about how you feel, see her reaction, and give both of you time apart through NC. Its really the only way to go if you truly have feelings for her or one another.

[Lady Bugg]

Hmmm...it sounds as if she is testing you...to see if you see her as more than a FWB relationship. Perhaps if you show jealousy that must mean you care sort of thing..

If you have told her you don't wish to hear this stuff and she does it anyway..then she's not being very respectful..and as YOU said...immature..and even maybe a little INsecure.

 

You need to do what you feel is best.

[pinklace]

She's trying to make you jealous IMO and going a trashy way about it.

 

The last thing that we want to hear from a bf or gf, are the gory details of their past conquests, sexual or not!!

 

It's soooo off putting.

 

Despite her experience with men, she seems to know very little about men and what they look for and want, in a woman.