Keeps taking my friendz? really long i'm sorry!

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Ok heres my problem, In grade four young and innocent and just looking to have fun i became friends with this girl (lets call her cat). Well Cat and I became best friends and hang out heaps together until she decided she didn't want to be my friend anymore. So off i went crying and upset. Then in grade seven slightly more mature and looking for friends to tell secrets to laugh with and most of all trust i had my best friend (lets call her sarah). Sarah and i were so close and i was really looking forward to hanging out with her more and really getting close to her then cat started to hang out with us. I had basically forgotten what happened and had totally forgiven her i mean come on we were in grade four you can't judge a person from that. Thats what i thought until Sarah and Cat started getting really close. They started ganging up on me and i was always the third person. Eventually they told me that they didn't want me to hang out with them anymore. So hurt and upset i turned to the people who i'd known since i was seven and i stayed with them and was still friends with them in grade eight. Then once again Cat decided to join the group i had made myself happy within. I didnt really mind thinking that i was just being stupid. Until my place in the group had been taken and so i left. For two years i hang out with a group of people i went out of my way to meet and talk to only one or two of them were actually in my class so it really was an effort. Then just when i was happy again she took over that group. Now we have broken into smaller groups and Cats best friend is one of my closest friends and my best friend loves her to pieces. My youth group was already my life and the people there were like family and now shes there to. And only talks/flirts with the people i have told her i love. Now shes coming to my church to and i know the same thing is just going to happen again. Why can't she leave me alone i havent done anything to her. If she takes away these friends i really don't know what to do. I don't think i could do it again i'm scared because i've never had friends as close as the ones i have now and they all love her so much and i just couldnt live without them. What should i do?

[Relationship Coach]

Rozi,

 

You're at an age where friends are everything and I know how you feel. Cat seems to be jealous of you is there a reason for this? When was the last time you approached her and tried to rekindle your friendship with her? You need to stand up to her and tell her how you feel and let the others around you see that you are just as worthy of their friendships as Cat is, if not more so.

 

RC

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Thanks but thats the thing, i don't believe i am as good as friend. Thats why i just eave them. You know i was thinking bout fighting back but this is stupid. If my friends think shes a better friend maybe they are right...

[sumguy]

High School's a battlefield, it's still fresh in my mind... there are times I feel like I'm getting Vietnam style flashbacks to those days...

 

In the beginning Cat went out of her way to damage your friendships, but now you're giving up before she's doing anything, and she doesn't even need to exert influence to get rid of you.

 

Your friends at the moment, they obviously like you, don't get down on yourself thinking you're a worse friend than she is. Don't let yourself get dislodged so easily. Fight back, not in the cheesy Disney way, but by being there for your friends, and refusing to give up when Cat moves in.

 

Hope this helps... =)

[RelaxByWater84]

I was like you when I was your age. My two best friends were getting close in middleschool and on to 10th grade, I felt so alone then cuz they were leaving me out of things. They still included me in some things. Then for some reason they just can't get along and that happened in the middle of 10th grade. Now they can't be around each other for more than 10 minutes and I have to hang with one friend one night and the other friend the next night. I did the same thing two nights in a row: go out to eat and shopping. So "Cat" and "Sarah" may grow apart but who knows. There is hope for your friendships.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Thanks heaps sumguy you really did help! Your right i do have t fight back! But hey whats wrong with the cheesy disney stuff???? nah i know what you mean and i just have to keep being myself.

And CoffeeGirl84 i guess you're right theres always a chance I just have to give it time.

Now my problem is gonna be being this confident when i see her flirting with the people i call my family...