Technical NC Question

[youusedtocallmeb]

I know this question may seem kind of dumb but;

 

If you were to run into an ex and you talked to them, would that be breaking NC? If you were "counting the days", would you been forced to skip that one? Technical, I know, but I feel somewhat "defeated" by NC when I had no other choice to see him.

[Lady Bugg]

Hmmm..I think if THEY talk to you first..then it's not "breaking" NC.

I think it's harder to NOT talk to them in person .....though if you keep the talk to a minimum, and don;t talk about the past or the relationship...it makes it easier.

[DN]

No contact isn't a hard and fast rule about never meeting in person regardless of circumstance. The most important aspect of it is the state of mind that accepts the relationship is over and the need to move on. Accidental meetings can't be helped and you can be polite. The main thing is not to be diverted from the emotional acceptance of the break-up.

[annie24]

well written DN!

 

That said, how "accidental" are your meetings? Is it purely a coincidence, or are you milling around his work or his favorite bar or coffee shop, hoping to run into him?

 

If it's a coincidence, and you run into him... a brief convo (ie, just a few minutes) is not breaking contact.

[PRSOV]

It depends how you go about it...

 

You shouldn't be rude to your ex unless you broke up on bad terms, for example she cheated on you or it was an abusive relationship.

 

Personally if I ran into one of my ex's I would be polite say hi, how are you? but keep moving with what I am doing.

[rose2summer]

I agree with PRSOV, about how you go about doing it.

 

If you run into your ex and you talk for 1/2hr, then I think you broke NC.

 

On the other hand, if you see them and you say, hi, I am late to class/my dr's appt/(insert excuse here), hope all is well with you, but I need to jet, then you maintained NC.

 

It's how you handle the situation that would dictate whether you broke NC.

 

And like Annie said don't hang out in places you know you would find them.

 

Cheers,

Rose

[youusedtocallmeb]

Our "accidental" meeting was on the bus; I was off to work and he was going shopping.

 

He spotted me first and intiated the conversation, which lasted about 5 minutes before I had to get off. The conversation was both light and fun, and no mention of the previous or current relationship.

 

He seemed delighted to see me (laughing, smiling, etc) and I don't like these "games" he's playing.

[lady00]

I think your reaction was good, balanced, and brief. You handled it well. If you bump into him again, do something similar.

 

Just out of curiosity, what kinds of games is he playing?