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What is your definition of a "date"?


Donster
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I'm 32 you gay guy, just out of a 14 year relationship (yes, you can do the math, we got together very early in life) and I realized recently that I have never really "dated". In fact, I don't really know what constitutes a date. So I thought I would take a poll to see what your definitions of a date are.

 

In the past week, I met some I had chatted online with for coffee and chat. Is that a date? I met someone else for tennis, drinks, and ...was that a date? Or is it a date only if there is the promise of something longer-term and lasting to develop? Is it still a date if it's purely for friendship purposes? At what point is the differentiating factor between "getting together with a friend for a drink or a bite to eat" and "a date"? Is there an invisible line that you have to cross? I understand the difference between hooking up and going on a date, but does a hookup become a date if you do other activities too (like dinner and movie beforehand)? And do you think there is a difference between gay and straight definitions of what exactly constitutes a date?

 

I have so many questions! Please post what you think a "date" is.

thanks!

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To me dating is meeting up with a person for drinks or coffee so as to learn more about the person and see if we click, and if they are interested. Then hopefully that will lead to more get togethers and maybe even a relationship.

 

Dates can be defined in a lot of ways. Just a getting together to learn about each other.

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I consider a date as being two people who are attracted to each other, go out and do somthing together. exe: Dinner, lunch, coffee, picnic, movie, ect.

 

The term "dating" to me, means that I have already been on a date with that person, and there is a mutual agreement that you will go on more dates. So if I am dating someone, that means we have already gone on a date, and agreed to continue for more dates.

 

I'd say a relationship starts when you both consider yourselves boyfriend-girlfriend; boyfriend-boyfriend; girlfriend-girlfriend.

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So it sounds like the concept of a date means that in part, there is some expectation of attraction and a shared future, even if it's just a little?

 

Whereas when two friends go out together and hang out, then it's not a date because that expectation is not there at all.

 

I'm also interested in the GLBT angle too though. Two straight guys or gals can hang out, and that's totally kosher. But how often do straight men and women hang out together? Doesn't it turn into "When Harry Met Sally"? And what about when two gay guys or lesbian gals get together to hang out? Where are the lines between being friends or dating?

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I just went on what one of my friends calls a "non-date" with someone whom I'm not really attracted to, but who's funny and nice and with whom I laugh a lot and have a good time. I guess it's a non-date because, for me at least, there is no expectation of anything other than friendship that will come out of this.

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I'm also interested in the GLBT angle too though. Two straight guys or gals can hang out, and that's totally kosher. But how often do straight men and women hang out together? Doesn't it turn into "When Harry Met Sally"? And what about when two gay guys or lesbian gals get together to hang out? Where are the lines between being friends or dating?

 

I believe it's the same, if there's attraction/expectations by both participants it's a date.

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I just went on what one of my friends calls a "non-date" with someone whom I'm not really attracted to, but who's funny and nice and with whom I laugh a lot and have a good time. I guess it's a non-date because, for me at least, there is no expectation of anything other than friendship that will come out of this.

 

Yep, I think that's true. If there's no possibilities of more than friendship, then it's just friends hanging out. That's why I like things to be somewhat clear. If it's a date I'd rather call it that. Also, if a guy says something like he's looking for friendship and then maybe something will develop from that, that would be kind of a turn off for me, because I don't look to make a forced friendship, and once I categorize someone as a friend, it's too weird to try to recategorize them as a potential SO. But I don't know, maybe that's just me.

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