I have a huge crush and I need help

[bradbear27]

 

If you are a discreet gay man and you have a crush on a guy that you think is gay but your not sure what would you do to get his attention? If you work at the same place with him everyday, and he gives off body language as if he were gay, how would you let him know you were interested? Without asking him if he is gay. Seriously, please help.

[Tigris]

Welcome to enotalone.

 

Ask him out for a drink and get to know him better. Friends first and then a relationship later.

[bradbear27]

Well I would but he acts like he doesnt care to talk to me, and when we are near each other we do have like 10 seconds of small talk. Other than that all day we catch each others eyes even though theres plenty of other people coming and going. What do you all think he's doing? Cause I dont know if I just like him so much that I am reading him wrong. I dont know.. help!!

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Well I would but he acts like he doesnt care to talk to me, and when we are near each other we do have like 10 seconds of small talk. Other than that all day we catch each others eyes even though theres plenty of other people coming and going. What do you all think he's doing? Cause I dont know if I just like him so much that I am reading him wrong. I dont know.. help!!

When you like someone, you hope they like you too, so your brain goes into some sort of default fantasy mode. You can subconsciously convert a simple eye contact into eye contact, as if it were like this little critter right here -> You could be reading too much into it or not. Best way to do so is to follow the advice of Tigris and befriend him first.

[Donster]

One thing you can do is to be a little less discreet...fold some loaded small talk into your conversation. Like if he asks if you had a good weekend, subtly mention that you met some friends at XXX bar (insert name of popular gay bar here). If he doesnt know it, or doesnt blink, then he probably isnt gay and its just your crush making you think that he might be. If he says "I was there last week" then you have your entrance and you can say "how about we meet there for a drink this weekend? I would love a chance to get to know you a little bit better outside of the office". And if he says "who wants to go to a gay bar? you're not one of *them* are you?", if you want to stay discreet, you can say that you met a gay friend of yours there for a drink (and you would get points for being open minded) and if you dont want to stay discreet you can say "yup, I'm one of them, and I'm out to convert every last one of you!". And that would at least elicit a laugh out of him, which will help you become better friends with him, even if there is no chance of anything romantic ever developing.

 

so there you go, win-win situations all around if you are willing to be a little bold and upfront! Good luck!!

[Steven1607307306]

Wow, you are just the expert of gay-talk aren't you? That's amazing, I wish you could give me advice on talking to girls in a win-win situation!

[Rizby]

As Tigris has eloquently described....befriend him first, then work upwards. You have to be friends first before anything can happen.

 

I'm in a similar predicament. Don't let this consume you.

[Cadence308]

Tigris stated it short and sweet. Get to know him, be his friend, go for a drink. I'm going to add: when you are having a drink give him a compliment and flirt a bit!