help!! sooo confused about my ex...please reead

[smiles314]

Ok... Well i spoke to my ex Friday...And wow what i weird conversation. We were talking about things having to do with college... We will both be going back to school and seeing each other again since the start of summer- in about 3 wks. We live 4 hrs apart, so havent seen each other in awhile. ANyway, he and i broke up about a yr ago after a 6 mos relaitonship...And he wanted the break up- never was clear why. And ever since then we still had hung out occasionaly and fooled around, and he was very confused- and very indecisive going back and forth about what he wanted.

 

He had said that in the beginning of the summer, he regretted breaking up badly.. But nothing could happen since we were leaving each other again ( a large part of why we break up initially). Well we kept in touch throughout the 3 months, and sometimes spoke for awhile..

 

On friday- he basically said that he never ruled out us getting back together..and he asked if he should have? And he said that somethings just never die..and he has only felt that with me. And he was dealing with a lot of personal things this past yr. And basically he didnt know in what way he wanted me to be involved in his life, and he broke things off because he was trying to protect me in a shitty way. Because if we stayed together, he knew that things were going to be bad btwn us.---His Words. He apologized for everything being so weird. And he has figured a lot of stuff out..And knows that he wants me. I asked him in what way, since he had all these conditions previously. And he said its a little early to go into it since we still have a few weeks till we even see each other again.. But generally speaking, he is pretty lonely and has been single for awhile- he said. So I assume he wants a gf. He invited me up to see him again. But i'm just going to wait. And he also said that im not annoying him, and that i am one of his closest friends. And he misses me.

 

So im left feeling highly confused. Can anybody explain to me whats going on with him here? Please.... I dont know why, but i kinda feel mad about what he said and even more confused .?? I feel like he thinks hes in control of everything... I kno He was genuine. But maybe its because the whole convo was online?? He ims me all the time now right away-within minutes usually thats all it takes. In fact he just imed me now.. Guys advice please???

[wild_flower]

Maybe he did have somethings going on in his life and maybe he felt like he would be "cheatin" you out of 100 % of his time and attention when he was with you. If it was something really heavy going on in his life, maybe he felt like having a gf would only add more stress to the relationship and to the problems he was having. If you still have feelings for him why not take it slow and see where it goes? You don't have to committ to him or anything, that is your call, but seeing where it would lead could be interesting.

[zerohour]

Hi smiles,

 

It sounds like your ex has forgotten what it was like to be together with you, and is under the impression that things have changed (which maybe they have--only he can really know that).

 

It's entirely possible that in being away from school for the summer, his circumstances have changed such that he feels that he wants you back in his life. And maybe he even anticipated this change (hence the reason he told you he wanted you back right before summer). Is his life significantly different at home than it is at school? Does he have more friends at school that perhaps satisfy a social need that he doesn't get while at home? He may subconsciously feel that you can help to fill that void while he's at home, but it is also entirely possible that things will be back to the way they were when you get back to school.

 

This guy sounds more confused than you are. I don't think he really knew what he wanted when you were in the relationship, which is why he couldn't cite any good reasons for ending it. When someone ends a relationship on a "gut instinct" like that, it's usually worth listening to.

 

But it's also possible that things have changed for him, and that he's now in a position to appreciate you more. If you really like him, why not give him a chance to show you what he's talking about. If you don't really think he's that great of a guy, then I would say don't waste your time getting back into a sticky emotional situation if you're pretty sure that it will end again (and probably more messily this next time). Just take advantage of the "apart time" that you two have had thus far, put some closure on the relationship, and move on. Whatever you do, don't leave it ambiguous--that's no good for either of you, because you're going to be in a state of constant heartache. It may hurt more in the short term, but it's better in the long run to just stop cold when you know it's gone sour.

 

Hope that helps.

 

-Zer0