Need insight on exGF actions/words

[methuselah]

I wasn't sure who to ask about this....This seems like a great place to give/get objective advice. Anyone who can decipher this stuff for me would be my hero (especially a female who has insight into the female mind).

 

So...She breaks up w/me after 8 months. She flies to Europe and leaves me with a solitary Email: "I'm a coward for doing it this way...but we shouldn't be bf/gf anymore. I'm sorry..." Hit me like a ton of bricks. Anyway, the only contact w/her is after she got back (2 wks) and she cried and said she was sorry but she wasn't happy,etc.,etc.

 

She then refuses all contact with me for the next 3 months. I still thought about her alot during this time and in a way understood her unhappiness w/me (I was going through some stressful times and didn't take care of the relationship like I should have).

 

So after running into her a brief moment and saying "hi", I get an email that nite. It says "Hello, I am blah,blah, etc, etc, (paraphrasing)...How have you been doing? You look good. I miss you."

 

OK...threw me off a little, but mostly ignored it (but thought about her a little). And then a week later... a call. I will highlight the curious points:

1.Said she was looking all over for me in the lab at school and was disappointed she couldn't find me.

2. I talked about some mutual friend having trouble in their marriage. She says "Ever since we've been going out, they've had problems.." Ever since...? Freudian Slip?

3. Told her I was moving to a new apt. Said she wanted to come over to help me move.

4. Asked me if I was going out that nite to play open mic. )We used to go to the bar alot and I would play guitar.)

 

Any idea if she is getting at something? Am I trying to read into these things?

I may be too long winded here... but if you made it this far...what do you think? Thanks to all listeners...It helped me just to write this out...

[kcil]

The only thing i can decipher from that is that she has really mixed feelings. Part of her thinks her first choice to leave you was best, and another part still really likes you and wants to get back together. This ultimately makes yu the tiebreaker. If you don't want to continue a relationship with her then dont see her so much and she will follow. If you want to get back together with her do it now, and she seems like shed want to do it.

[kellbell]

Hi there and welcome to eNotalone.

 

Well, from what you described, I am going to hazard a guess and say she had someone else in mind. That did not work out so she is checking her status with you. In other words, you are the fallback guy.

 

If you want to know for sure, put her in the hot seat. You have every right to do so, she broke up with you in the most cowardly and tasteless way. Ask her what she wants and why is doing this, flat out. I would guard your heart with this one. Take care and good luck.

[methuselah]

Thanks kcil, kellbell (wow 15 min and two replies! lots of angels here, methinks

 

 

 

Just as I was getting over her ... ugh .. life goes on! the Wisdom helps.

 

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