Just started NC + work - what is she thinking?

[Nick_t]

I love all the advice on here, especially a regarding no contact!

 

My story is to cut it short -

My Gf has just broke up with me last week after 2 years because she needs a bit of time to be herself, to experience adventures by herself and to learn to be dependant on herself as she is still young. She doesn't want security anymore she said, yet on Monday her dog was put down and the first person she called was me because she didn't have anyone else to call.

 

I went round to hers later that night to take her some food and just to be there as I knew how much her dog meant to her. She was very grateful and was hugging me, not letting go and asked me to stay (whilst saying I could go as it was not fair). I said I would sleep in the room accross the hall and leave in the morning, which I did. She kept on saying this is the second bad thing to happen to me, what's next? So I asked what was the first and she said breaking up with you. That makes me laugh because I think she has not got a clue what she wants, and if it was such a bad thing to break up with me why did she do it in the first place.

 

The problem is I work with her Monday to Wednesday. So I saw her at work the next day and was still being nice as I know what she is going through, and she was still hurting. I got angry with myself on Tuesday night because i chatted to her online for a bit, and sounded like a friend again. so yesterday I just kept it at minimal contact and smiled when I saw her. She had lunch on her own, and saw me with my mate laughing, whilst she was just sitting there thinking. Plus she knew I was going to London last night with my mate and a few girls and although she said it was ok, I had a feeling it wasn't. I know its helping me gradually move on and she probably will be thinking that.

 

The point of this message is to say what a great forum as everyone's advice is helping and showing me that I can do it, it will just take time. But it will get easier.

 

I now have decided to have NC until Monday, but any advice for when I'm working with her??? As it is difficult seeing her all day. Just suppose to stay with the minimum contact and just be polite, nothing else?

 

Plus I have had no contact with her from Wednesday night, and she just signed online and wrote "hello". I was set to away so did not answer. After 5 mins of me not answering she wrote "fine" and signed off.

 

What does this mean? Is it getting to her?

 

Thanks in advance.

[Cid]

Well it sounds like she doses not know what she wants. I sugest that you keep doing what you are doing. You still can bethere for her. I am good frinds with 2 of my ex's. So just becouse you guys arent dating you cant bethere. But dont get your hopes up about geting back togethere. Only time will tell.

[Nick_t]

Thanks Cid, I agree I don't think she knows what she wants. However I do because I want her back, and if I continue to be there and nice, then she will be getting exactly what she wants, to be just friends.

 

She wants to be friends and says she doesn't want to loose me, yet I can't be friends because at this moment in time as i want more and have too many feelings for her.

 

I think if I continue with no contact I can't make the situation worse or better, but at least it will give her what she wants, which is to be by herself. And if she realises she doesn't want that then fine, but I won't be running back straight away. I need to know if this is what I want.

 

I am just confused that after 2 days of NC she tried to say hello, and gave me about 5 mins to respond. By saying "fine" is she wanting me to phone later and ask why she put that, do u think she is getting annoyed or really starting to miss me but pretending she doesn't care.

 

who is she to say fine because i'm not responding, she ended it with me?

 

what do u think?

[Cid]

Well she thinks that you are going to leave her and not ever talk to her, I know that is the main thing about NC. She still has feeling for you too. Try to be there as a friend not a Ex. It is hard I know. I think she is kicking her self in the butt for dumping you. I sugset that you keep talking with her down to a min or so. And if she asks why you are not talking to her. Tell her that you are trying to pull your self together.