Pick up lines

[PRSOV]

Ladies: If you have any funny or downright outrageous pick-up lines than have been used on you please post them here!

 

Gentleman: If you have used pickup lines successfully please post them here! Or on the downside if they got you a red face, please share them with us!

 

 

Also if you have any good stories about pick up lines I would love to hear them! This should be good

 

This may have been a thread in the past, if so please provide a link.

 

PRSOV

[lilac_indi]

"you must be tired because you have been running through my mind all day"

 

"will you be the mother of my children?"

 

umm...

 

ok this is a weird one:

 

me, a mate and 2 cousins were returning on a plane from Paris and there was this really sleazy guy sitting near us. our mate is a lot older than us so that guy thought she was ma cousins's mum. he could only see my legs cause the friend was blocking my view and i was wearing jeans and trainers and he thought i was the dad :S

 

he asked my cousins that and then i looked at him and he got embarrassed, then asked if i was 24 then asked me to marry him. i said "i thought i was a man" to which he replies "we will find out" - aaaaaaaaargh!!! i think he was drunk lol - he was trying to set his son up with my cousin lol.

 

another....umm "you have a body to die for"

 

"you must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you" lol

 

"if you were a burger at McDonalds your name would be McGorgeous" hahahahaha

 

"my friends bet me that i cant start a conversation with a pretty girl, wanna buy some drinks with their money?" - that one was used on my mate but i thought was funny

[river dog]

image removed This one worked well on a cute blonde on Ocean Drive in Miami. I was at dinner with a team of work colleagues and she was with two other pretty women on a nearby table.

 

The guys kept staring and talking about them - the blonde in particular. They were younger than me and I outranked them, so I bravely said I would show them how it was done. Me and my big mouth.

 

"Hello Ladies. My name is River Dog. I wondered if you could help me out? See, those guys over there work for me and they don't have a clue how to approach confident, pretty women like yourselves. In fact, you scare them.

 

It is REALLY important to my reputation and possibly my career for you to bear with me and appear to be totally enchanted with what I have to say for a few moments, laugh a lot, write a fake number on a napkin, then I go away and stop bothering you."

 

They all laughed.

 

"What a great accent." I'm English.

"We can do better than that. Please, join us. We'll show them."

 

I am sitting with them for about 30 minutes while they treat me like I'm Hugh Hefner at a pool party in the 70s.

 

Before they move on, the blonde writes a number on a napkin and I return to my colleagues bearing my trophy. Of course, it's fake but they don't know that.

 

"It's got to be fake" one says and dials. The blonde answers from down the street and I am a legend.

 

I called a couple of days later. She turned out to be a surgeon at a local hospital.

 

p.s. I've got loads of stories like that. Let me know if you want to hear some more.

[MacGyverRI]

These have worked well.

 

 

me; Hi, I'm Ken (use your own name) and I couldn't help staring at you and drooling because you look exactly like my (pause) 2nd wife!

 

Usually gets from her; 2nd? How many times have you been married?

 

me; Just once...

 

....................

 

 

If it's around Christmas;

 

Wow, Do you mind if I take your picture??

 

her; why?

 

Because I want to show Santa exactly what I want for Christmas!

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Not so much a pickup line, BUT during the first conversation I had with my now-boyfriend, I asked him "so....do you want to be buried or cremated?"

 

Don't ask. It worked though.

[PRSOV]

ALSS...

 

What on earth were your intentions? Sounds like you were planning his funeral

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I always figured I just show people what they're getting - an unplanned, organic, original and quirky article circa 1988. It just came up.

[Ash]

I'm not a pick up line kind of person so I don't tend to use them at all. They're just not me, they wouldn't work.

 

One thing that seems to come up quite often early in a relationship for me (past the pickup stage, but before the serious stage) is the Reason / Season / Lifetime discussion. If seems to have both of us consider why we might be dating and evaluate what the future may hold.

[inmytreehouse]

I had to retort once to some sleaze at a bar. Normally I wouldn't be so rude but this guy was very very drunk and was all over me, and he was like "What's a fine thing like you doing in a s**thole like this?" I just turned to him and said "Same thing as you. Picking up chicks."

I'd heard it somewhere before, but it worked. He practically left skidmarks!

 

I've had some guy ask me "Do you have Italian in you?" Me: "No"

Him: "Would you like some?"

[river dog]

image removed OK, someone asked for another genuine pickup story, so here is a very recent one. About 4 weeks ago I was in a bar and got chatting to the daughter of an acquaintance I can't recall talking to before.

 

She is gorgeous and way too young for me, but anyway:

 

Me: "You are growing into a fine woman, just look at those eyes!"

Her: "So, what have you been doing with yourself?"

Me: "Getting into all kinds of trouble with my girlfriend"

Her: "Who?"

 

I give some details.

 

Her: "I know her. She's quite sexy, but a bit young for you, isn't she?"

Me: "She lied about her age on the application"

 

This leads into other stories...

 

Her: "Oh, I love stories" touching my arm

Me: "Hey, don't touch what you have no intention of buying"

 

We have a rare old laugh for a couple of hours but she is young, she has a new boyfriend and I am dating someone else. Three good reasons but the best one is her Dad training a gorilla with a ballpein hammer and a picture of my gonads.

 

----- forward two weeks ------

 

Her: "Hi River Dog. How's the girlfriend?"

Me: "Intrigue upon intrigue sweetheart. La chica es tan dificil"

Her: "That's my boyfriend over there, the one I told you about"

Me: "He seems very nice. You'll have beautiful children together"

Her: "Sent 400 text messages to get a date with me"

Me: "I am aghast! Bet I could do it with one"

Her: "Bet you couldn't"

Me: "Stop hitting me, I bruise easily"

 

--- later ---

 

Me: "Well, I better be off"

Her: "So how would you get a date with one text message"

Me "OK, give me your number and I'll show you one day"

Her: "600-002-xxx"

Me: "Hang on, I can't type so fast into these damn things. Must be my arthritis."

Her: "Give it here"

 

So she types her name and number into my phone.

Her: "Now, shall we all go to the bar where your problem girl is working and make her jealous?"

 

I wonder what that text will say? Nah, I can't....

 

Want another story, just ask.

[RufusDawes]

... would you like to have a one night stand.

[hosswhispra]

Him from the window of his car: Are you married?

 

Me (thinking why does he want to know?): Are you married?

 

Him: no, would you like to go out with me?

 

Me (thinking this guys got major balls): I don't know you.

 

Him: Would you like to get to know me?

 

Me (feeling like a 12 year old girl who is about to be abducted while on her walk): Not like this!

[onewithbooks]

I was at work and we had some carpet layers laying the new carpet squares and one of them says to me

 

"So are you married or are you happy?"