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New love interest: Is she or isn't she?! How can I talk to her?

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Hi, I'm new to here and I'm just looking for some comfort and advice from anyone. I'm a 19 year old girl, and I'm gay. I've known forever, but have just recently began admitting it to myself and I'm slowly coming out. I just don't care anymore if anyone knows or who knows, I'd rather be out than miserable in the closet! I wear rainbow stuff sometimes and [some] people probably suspect it, but I could care less.

So anyway, I really REALLY like this girl. A lot. She works in the same mall as me, in a different store. I'm pretty sure she's a new employee of theirs. I went into the store a few weeks ago and when I first saw her, I immediately liked her. I have bought things and been through her till a couple of times, and we've talked, but nothing more than things like, "Hi, how are you?" or "How's your day going?" But the thing is...I can't tell if she's gay/bi or not! I'm only going by looks...and I know that looks can't always tell, but I could definitely see it though. She's definitely not girly, wears her hair back in a ponytail all the time, lip's pierced, and has a fairly large tribal tattoo on her arm. She makes a lot of eye contact as well...I noticed she does that with other customers as well, but people say that there are different kinds of eye contact so who knows. I know a guy who works at the same store as her, only he works graveyard shifts, so he doesn't even know her yet and I don't think many people know much about her yet, since she's new. He's going back to working days soon so hopefully he'll be able to figure something out for me. A couple of friends of mine have looked at her and they say it's hard to tell. I'm pretty sure she's seen my rainbow bracelets that I wear, and she kinda looks at me but I'm not sure if she's noticing them or just looking at me like a any other customer. I don't think she knows that I work in the same mall as her, so if I could [somehow] bring it up and let her know, if she were to walk by my workplace, then that may be some sort of sign or something.

Anyway, If anyone has any thoughts or ideas on what I could do/say/ask or if you think she could be gay/bi or anything, I'd love it and appreciate it a ton. Thankyou!

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  • 4 weeks later...

Welcome to ENA!


I think the best way for you to discover her orientation is to be friends with her first. Converse more with her and don't become just a customer in her eyes. Once you have become friends you can officially come out to her and either she can accept you and be friends or more or she can be shallow and run. Right now your attraction is physical, get to know her and see if the package suits the wrapping.



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Haha so much has happened since I posted that but I'm not going to say everything cause that would probably take me hours lol. Well, apparently she has a boyfriend and has or is having a kid!! But not intentionally, cause she's (I think) like 23 at most (Information from others who work with her, but they aren't too sure). We basically know each other now cause she has been to my store and seen me working there and we exchange hello's whenever we see each other and make small talk. She still looks at me quite a bit when I'm in her store browsing, perhaps she's curious? I don't know, but I'm going to keep working on it and find out more about her and keep trying to make conversation with her, and thanks for the suggestions! If anyone has any other ideas on how I could talk to her more or what I could say, please let me know, sometimes I'm horrible at making good conversation with people I have a crush on, I can never think of things to say!

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If there's a restaurant in one of your buildings why don't you make arrangements to meet at lunchtime. The best way to make conversation with someone is to ask them about themselves. If she's quite chatty she'll probably continue talking for a while and all you have to do is listen and ask the odd question here and there.


When lunch is over tell her you enjoyed it and that you hope you can do it again sometime. That gives her the opportunity to make arrangements for another day. It'd be a good idea to give her your mobile no. She might even give you hers.


Good luck.

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