I dont know if what I'm feeling is right...

[djbeasley]

Ok, I just got out of a very serious relationship that had been solid for 5 years... Dont ask how it happened. I found this unbelievable girl and we hit it off right away. We've been together for about 3 months now and we practically live together already. I know theres the whole rebound thing but we are both aware of that and trying to work through it. After the serious relationship I never thought I would feel the same way about another woman, but this relationship feels much stronger and more solid. There is nothing more in a woman that I could ever want that I havent found in her. She's very mature in her love for me and maybe thats where this comes from. She was talking to one of her close guy friends on aim and he had said that he had a sexual dream that included her in it and proceeded to go into detail. Instead of her saying this isnt right or anything like that, she went along with lol's and ... should I be worried about this, I am already fighting jealousy just like every other guy on the face of the earth, but I want to know if other girls would do this and not think twice... Thanks for any advice you can give

 

David

[adayatthebeach]

My ex boyfriend used to approach me with things like that when we were first dating. I was uncomfortable with it and told him to stop, although he obviously didn't think I was being serious.

 

It got to the point where it became sexual harassment. My boyfriend had to approach my ex and talk to him about leaving me alone.

 

I would ask her about her actions with her guy friend. Maybe she is just uncomfortable and doesn't really know how to act about it. When my boyfriend wouldn't stop at first I would just leave stupid little comments like "oic" and "is that right?". It's not that I did it to encourage him, but I was just tired of it, and kind of gave up on getting him to stop. Maybe she is in this kind of possision?

[heloladies21]

Obviously you should react to this. Just make sure you don't go over the top and lose your cool. Any time you're confronting your chick about something, use this mantra. Otherwise, speak what's on your mind.

[hopeiseverything]

Just make sure you don't go over the top and lose your cool.

 

Word!

 

That is soo true!

 

djbeasley difficult situation my friend. I would talk to her about it, and something which I find provokes conversation is to ask her how she would feel if she was in your shoes.

 

Then at least you can find out what she think's about it. And maybe then you can establish some guidelines in the relationship. And let her know that you feel uncomfortable about her not stopping the conversation and rather going along with it.

 

Jealousy can kill relationships man, I'm still trying to learn about this - and this topic will probably help some of my demons.

 

BTW How did you find out about this? Did her friend tell you, or did she tell you?

 

Good luck my friend!

[heloladies21]

Jealousy can kill relationships man, I'm still trying to learn about this - and this topic will probably help some of my demons.

 

But not showing jealousy can also kill relationships. Especially when a girl is testing you and expects a reaction, if you don't react then she'll think you don't care about her.

[djbeasley]

Thank you very much. I did talk to her and played the whole if you were in my shoes and she explained to me that it made her uncomfortable and she didnt know what else to say. I realized that at the end of the day, I know where her heart lies. She assured me that if she had ANY feelings toward another guy she wouldnt be with me b\c it wouldnt be fair. Again, thanks for all your advice. I originally intended to use this site once for this question, but through the people I talk to on this site I think I'll stay in here for a while...

David

[hopeiseverything]

Hey bro,

 

Yeah this site is great huh! Certainly made me want to stay here for a while! Hey just wanted to congratulate you on the very mature way you handled the situation, as I say - everything can be solved with hope and a bit of conversation!

 

BTW - If she's the girl on your avatar, you look like a great couple!

[finewhine]

OK, I'm going to be devil's advocate because my ex boyfriend of over three years rebounded two weeks after we broke up, so forgive my tone if it sounds a little harsh. Nothing against you, I'm sure you're a very nice person.

 

May I just ask how it is that you're in love with someone so soon after you got out of a five year relationship? How is it that five years of your life suddenly disappeared into the ether when you met someone new? Were you asleep during your previous relationship? Was she so bad that you blocked it out?

 

Ugh, I do sound mean. Really, I don't mean anything by it. Just venting. Vent, vent, vent.

[heloladies21]

OK, I'm going to be devil's advocate because my ex boyfriend of over three years rebounded two weeks after we broke up, so forgive my tone if it sounds a little harsh. Nothing against you, I'm sure you're a very nice person.

 

May I just ask how it is that you're in love with someone so soon after you got out of a five year relationship? How is it that five years of your life suddenly disappeared into the ether when you met someone new? Were you asleep during your previous relationship? Was she so bad that you blocked it out?

 

Ugh, I do sound mean. Really, I don't mean anything by it. Just venting. Vent, vent, vent.

 

There's no need for this here. Your old relationship has nothing to do with the OP's current situation. You don't know the circumstances, who dumped who, or any of that, so if you need to vent, start your own thread.

[BlkLagoon]

I think you're normal to feel uncomfortable with that, and I would be bothered by it, too. However, I think it's important to realize that it's more your feeling/reaction that is the problem, and not so much the actual -cause-. If that makes sense. Meaning, from what you've explained, it seems HIGHLY unlikely that anything will actually come of this sexual dream conversation-- if she wanted to be with him, she wouldn't be dating you-- if she thought it was a conversation that was something to hide from you-- you'd never have known about it. So for those reasons, I think you have nothing to ACTUALLY worry about, or even be jealous about. But of course, the feeling is going to be there, and I don't think it would be wrong if you were to express to her how it made you feel, and maybe she'll be more sensitive to that in the future.

 

PS-- OH just saw that you'd replied to everyone earlier and were doing well. I'm going to keep my reply here because I know every little bit of reassurance helps!

[Momene]

I've had sexual dreams about girls that I've never been attracted to in real life. I've never told them, though!