OMG, age gap, but man is it great!!!

[moulinbleu]

I am 27 years old and last night I had the most incredible time with my new 21 year old man. Since last November, I have been in a major rut. My dad got diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and died six weeks ago. He was my best friend. It has been very difficult and I have been having alot of trouble in graduate school. School has worked itself out a bit.

 

The day my dad died I ended a horrible year-long "relationship" with a man who was 41. Actually things were over in April, but since it was a long distance relationship, we never had the opportunity to officially break things off then. Things started out fine, but eventually he started letting his 10 year old son disrespect me, and I started to feel like arm candy. He only really doted on me when he was showing me off to people. The sex was awful, the conversation was non-existant. It was just dead.

 

Anyways, in May, I was a bridemaid for my best friends wedding and during the wedding I met a wonderful 21 year old groomsman named Jay. He was the one who walked me down the isle and who I was paired up with for pics, because we "looked cute together" according to the bride and groom. We had an instant connection. He let our mutual friends know he was interested in me, but that the age difference may be too much. My friends talked me up to him so much, I became unapproachable. He is in technical school and I am a doctor now getting my PhD. Eventually he got up the nerve to ask me out. Our first few dates were really casual and fun (Chuck-E-Cheese and funky vinyl night at a great club). Last night was our sixth date and we made love. It was wonderful, I forgot what it was like to be with a man who could last more than 23 seconds and who did not act like oral sex is the devil. We had a wonderful time and fell asleep in each others arms. I woke up around three AM and Jay was awake, gently stroking my hair and softly humming a song to me.

 

When he left this morning, I slept in for another hour or so and woke up to find that he had left some pretty wildflowers on my doorstep, wrapped in newspaper, picked from the field next to my house.

 

He is shy, and a bit unrefined, but man he is a sweety. He is a hippy, and I am prep. We look pretty funny walking down the street together, I am sure. I really dig him and this experience has given me a new perspective about relationships. After all of the sadness, I find myself smiling and enjoying life.

 

The age gap is not that bad. We both get carded for drinks and such and I feel like we are kindred spirits. We are both athiests and we even share the same birthday. It is great. I hope we can make the most of the time we are given before something breaks down. Because doesn't it always end up that way?

 

I am grateful for this experience and I just wanted to share it with you, my trusted enotalone friends.

 

Moulinbleu

[Johnathan]

that's awesome. I'm 23 and am hoping my 28 y.o. coworker and I end up the same way!

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Sorry, but that's nothing. I'm 35, and the two guys I've been involved with lately have both been 22. Also was just asked out by a 27 year old, and thought he looked a bit old for me.

[moulinbleu]

John,

give her a hint or two, hopefully she will pick up on it. Work relationships can be strange, but hey we have a short amount of time on this earth and we should find love, happiness, passion, in any way that we can, IMHO.

 

I did nine autopsies on Friday and Saturday. All were accidental deaths. Man, we have to live everyday to the fullest because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

 

Good luck!

[moulinbleu]

Awesome! May the best man win!

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Awesome! Man the best man win!

 

Heehee....Weeeee...

 

Well as long as everyone's having fun.

[Cadence308]

I'm 28 yo and have been seeing a woman who is 46 yo. We have fun together and laugh a lot. She is very sweet with me. The cuddling and holding each other have been great. I have never been with anyone sexually and we have only seen each other three times, so hopefully things will be more intimate. We can talk about many things together and things are progressing quite rapidly. I'm not sure how these things end, as I'm pretty inexperienced with the whole relationship thing. She also has been diagnosed with terminal breast cancer and may have to begin chemotherapy again in Sept. She was given 6 mos. to 6 years to live and it's been 2.5 years. This is scary for me, as I don't know what the future holds. There never are any guarantees in life...

[chigal28]

Moulin, I read your story and had to comment because it made me smile. He sounds like a really sweet guy, and a very thoughtful one, too! Enjoy this, which it definitely sounds like you are, but also, don't necessarily assume that it has to end badly. Every relationship ends--UNTIL you find the one that doesn't! And all it takes is ONE. And we can learn from everyone we meet.

 

Oh, and I generally think age is just a number....your 21-year-old sounds much more considerate and selfless than the 41-year-old you dated, and it seems like you guys really click. It sounds like he is mature enough to give you the kind of relationship you deserve. Also, congrats on working on your PhD!!! That is such an amazing undertaking.

[Johnathan]

John,

give her a hint or two, hopefully she will pick up on it. Work relationships can be strange, but hey we have a short amount of time on this earth and we should find love, happiness, passion, in any way that we can, IMHO.

 

 

 

Good luck!

 

oh believe me, I have given her some hints and so has she. I'm actually trying not to think about her so much so I don't completely psych myself out. I totally agree about us not having much time on this earth and when it feels right, I am gonna take some initiative.

 

 

 

oh btw, I don't know what I'm smoking but I'm 24, not 23

[moulinbleu]

She also has been diagnosed with terminal breast cancer and may have to begin chemotherapy again in Sept. She was given 6 mos. to 6 years to live and it's been 2.5 years. This is scary for me, as I don't know what the future holds. There never are any guarantees in life...

 

I am so sorry to hear that. Man she is young. I post over on link removed and I give advice under the name Isidella. If you ever want to post there, please do. It is very supportive. Never lose hope, until the final breath. I have worked in oncology for many years and I have seen women overcome a terminal diagnosis before. If you need any specific advice or if you want me to point you in the right direction, PM me. Until then, love each other so much that it hurts. You are a strong man.

 

Also, I usually do not suggest Sex and the City to people, but, Samantha got diagnosed with cancer while she was in a major age gap relationship. It may strike a chord with you both.

 

Moulinbleu

[Psylocke960]

My ex was 7 years younger, we were together for 4 1/2 years and it was great until the last 6 months of our relationship. Anyway, I'm done with the 20 year olds (I'm 32 by the way). I'm sure there are many mature ones out there but I just feel as though I'm on a different timeline with them regarding a career, relationship, etc...I mean, I wouldn't mind having some fun with them if that's all I wanted, but for now, only 30 and up for me

 

Well, good luck and hope everything works well for you!!

[moulinbleu]

Moulin, I read your story and had to comment because it made me smile. Also, congrats on working on your PhD!!! That is such an amazing undertaking.

 

Thank you! Life feels like a wild ride right now! Weeeeee!

[moulinbleu]

----

Forgot to add, I dont think age has anything to do with it. I mean, your only as old as you think you are. I plan on living for a long time but inside Ill still be 20 ^_^.

 

Lotsa Love

Rain Gate

 

I love your avatar! Thanks for the love!

[Cadence308]

I am so sorry to hear that. Man she is young. I post over on link removed and I give advice under the name Isidella. If you ever want to post there, please do. It is very supportive. Never lose hope, until the final breath. I have worked in oncology for many years and I have seen women overcome a terminal diagnosis before. If you need any specific advice or if you want me to point you in the right direction, PM me. Until then, love each other so much that it hurts. You are a strong man.

 

I am a woman and so is she. She has already done chemo before. They are sure that it is in her lymph nodes and has spread. Chemo helped before last year. But, they will only do chemo again if she will allow them to do the surgery to remove a few lymph nodes to observe the progression of the disease. She is scared that if they do the surgery she may die or it may spread worse than before. She is in pain daily and doesn't know if she should just allow nature to take its course. She is one of the strongest people I have ever met in my life. She told me last night that she thinks she has problems sleeping because she is scared that she will miss something. We were holding each other and I couldn't hold the tears back.

 

I think I will check out this forum that you mentioned. I am in the biological sciences and have been wanting to do a Ph.D. in cancer biology even before I met her. This was one of the things that she found attractive about me.

[YankeeGirl02]

I hope we can make the most of the time we are given before something breaks down. Because doesn't it always end up that way?

Absolutely not! It sounds like you two have a great thing going. You should be looking to the future with hope, not expecting something to break down!

 

I'm glad you found a guy you seem to really connect with. Good luck to ya both!

 

P.S. The age gap is tiny Enjoy it.