It is for the better

[no_bad_news]

To all of the NCers out there. KEEP it GOING.

 

I ran into my ex this week and it was fine. I felt in control and not sick from WITHDRAWL...

 

That is what I faced for 8 months. A withdrawl.... That link on "Let them Go"

is a must hear. For a week I was using that mantra.

 

let him go! or her...

 

I also just read all the old emails I sent begging for some resolution. I barely was given it.

 

If this helps:

 

I have learned through this painful experience that it was better to have the months of hell that I faced alone, then to face a life sentence with someone that can never give me what I wanted. No matter how much you love someone, if they leave you. Let them GO! You can't believe how much that phrase will work for you.

 

Feel all of your pain. Allow yourself to feel it, and cry. Who cares if people tell you to get over it. You will at your own speed. And if those people are that insensitive, well then they have never really loved.

 

Right now I am completely single. I was in a store the other day and this elderly man said, "Why are you so happy?", and I instantly said because I am young and single!

 

For the first time in months I am happy. NC gives you control over yourself, and over your healing.

 

Keep pressing on those of you that are in the early days...

you can make it.

 

I am still in the process of moving on because I loved this person so much. But I realize that I can always love him, and let him go at the same time.

[Sally00]

That sounds like some good healthy advice. You go girl. I'm happy for ya.

[mikeca]

evertime I hear about mantras I begin to think wow, we can do anything as long as we put our minds to it. glad to hear your doing better

[brando]

no bad news,

Im glad you got through this. It is refreshing to see people come through the other side. Enjoy being single and happy. Thanks for sharing.

[no_bad_news]

I thought I was doing better.

 

this is going to be vague, but I saw my ex last week, and his friends. I hung out a bit and we chatted, but didn't talk about anything in particular.

 

I wanted so badly to ask him about his life, and to tell him about mine. But I kept it real simple. I appeared strong. It was nice to see him , and then he said good bye and left.....that was the hardest...

 

I also found out that he and his girlfriend are taking a month long holiday.

 

I feel sad again.

 

I feel like I miss him.

 

I hate this.

 

I feel like a rubber band.

I get snapped back into this pattern of missing the past.

 

I am convinced there won't be anyone better than him. He was pretty great, except for the way he treated me... and I know that...

 

Has anyone bought the WIN the EX back on line books>!

I wonder if my strength showed him I am moving on, even though inside i wanted to confess everything....

[Iknownothing]

no bad news,

 

I'm sorry to hear how you feel. In my opinion, there's no right way to do this. You were right when you said you'll get over this at your own speed. But you just need to figure out what it is you really want. I think right now, you need to get over him, because it's been that long of a time - 8 months, you said? - and he's dating again. Regardless of how IT feels, when someone else moves on, you should look into dating. People may yell at me, but I think thats the easiest way to get over someone else. It's been a while, and single life is great in aspects, but not in the long haul - Especially when you're still thinking about an ex. I'm still trying to "win" mine back - I'm not gonna lie, I looked online too and saw the "Win your ex back books" but I didn't even bother reading it. Every situation is different. The only way he has second thoughts is if he misses you, or what you had. If you think he might, then you'll have to wait and see. If you KNOW he doesn't, then you can give yourself enough closure to at least recognize your relationship as a great memory, but one that will help you with your next relationship. I'm a hopeless romantic, and I KNOW, that if I don't get back together with my EX, I'll be hurt even more, but I want to have tried. I want to say that I didn't give up on something I care about. If you feel that way, then you just have to also keep in mind what that comes with. I'm trying to stay "flirty" friends with my ex - and that can end disasterously - anything from her meeting someone else, me actually annoying her, or even her getting mad at how much I won't let her go. I tried to give her time with NC, but all that only accomplished two things. 1, it made it a lot easier for her to not think about me since she was the one who ended it. 2, it made me realize that no matter what my friends tell me, I can't walk away from my feelings because I'm stubborn. Just think about what you REALLY, REALLY want. Don't burn bridges, even if you don't need them because you're not the only person who crosses them. Keep in mind who you are - you sound like a very special person - and keep in mind what would really make you happy. Even, EVEN - if I got back with my ex, we'd have plenty, PLENTY of stuff to work on before we'd be happy. But I'd work on it - with her. Are you happy being miserable? You've already done it for so long - allow yourself the true freedom of being single, not like me - because if a certain someone called me right now for a favor, I'd jump on it. Which only makes me a lapdog. But If there's someone I'd want to wait for, I'll wait. And you should only do what you really feel you want to do. My observations about my own woes were supposed to be examples, sorry if I just sounded like I was be self-centered. Good luck, and there's always bad news, but you can decide how you deal with it. Be happy. Find a sport. Find a person. Find a smile, and remember how it makes you feel. Honestly, you'll be fine - just needs time. And if we're lucky, that's the only thing we can count on.