Is losing the girl I love worth the risk?

[jordan1176]

The short of it is that I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years who I love will all my heart. But I am confused in that I really would like to be with other girls. She doesn't know this b/c I tried to convince her it's more about me needing time alone to grow as a person, which is not entirely untrue b/c it is apparent I need to figure things out. I would never cheat on her, so for better or worse, I asked for the time alone - which basically amounts to a break-up.

 

She is not doing well, and I am sad as well. So after two weeks we saw each other and cried and hugged which inevitably led to sex - i guess the so-called "make-up sex". Now she is asking where we stand. It's very difficult b/c I know that we are right for eachother, but feel like if I get back into it again without taking this time this cycle might eventually repeat itself. On the other hand, she is so hurt and explains that she can't live in limbo like this b/c she is constantly hurting, so either she be my side during this process where I am finding myself, or she really needs to do her best to move on.

 

In my heart I really feel like she's the one for me. She's beautiful, special, kind, and so loving and faithful. I love her. But now I feel like I need to choose her or lose her.

 

I am very confused and do not want to end something that I really believe in. But I am afraid I will resent her if I never take this space. I want to believe in fate and tell myself that the better decision would be to take the space and let her move on, but I am so afraid of scarring our relationship forever.

 

Any insight would be so greatly appreciated.

 

-Jordan

[Chillyfrog]

Go with what your heart tells you....beacuse what i see you saying is better things about her then bad. Like you really want this, I think you really want to be with her..I can tell..If you love her try to work it out, If you are meant to be then it will be, Start over and give it your all, It will work trust me you love her and thats all you need. You pretty much answered your own question..You love her, Be with her.

 

 

- Can I find the candle of thought to light your name, Life times of catching up with me...I changed by not changing at all small town predicts my fate-

[inanna1607306450]

it sounds to me like you dont really want to let her go ,you should follow your heart stay with her if it dont work out in the end that will be fate working but if you never give it a true chance you will never know

[Cinnamon]

If you love her, you should stay with her. Why be apart from the person you love?

[lipstick]

No matter what you decide you will still feel that what you are doing isn't right........

However .........its better to give urself a time to think about it or as you call it a break up.

If she loves you.............she will be mad at first but than she will calm down and understand you. (understanding means b4 you leave her you must try to explaine urself, why u r leaving her)

And after a period of time, if u feel like ur missing her start it all over with her.........

Buy flowers, two tickets to the movie.........

P.S. its better to take ur time and understand ur relationship by braking up

than getting sick of it more and more if u stay in it...........

[SweetTartz]

I'm sorry if this is going to sound harsh but you seriously hit one of my nerves.

 

Why must you bring in the "need to sow my oats" dilemma into this? You love her. She loves you. You know she's the one for you. GET OVER THE NEED TO SPREAD YOUR SEED. Perhaps you need to answer this: will being with others help you in any way?

 

Also - don't expect her to stick around and wait for you to get your act together. (You wouldn't do it if the situation were reversed, right?) If you think she's wonderful - don't you think someone else will too? You may loss her completely - then what? A different ad on the forum?

 

My advise...stick with what you have. Own up to your feelings, responsibilites and commitment. Love isn't easy to find. Cherish it.

[jordan1176]

sorry to have stuck a nerve but i can't help to feel the need to spread my seed, as you put it. just because i love her and think she has the greatest heart doesn't mean i am physically fulfilled. although she's beautiful, i am not sexually attracted to her like i am other girls. maybe that's my answer - that the relationship is not "the one" because those physical needs would be fulfilled as well as the emotional ones. that's part of my confusion.

 

if there was a way to fast forward my entire life and in hindsight know that i will always desire other women then i would certainly "stick with what i have."

 

but if i looked back and found that all the pieces of this relationship were not there (and in moving on i found someone who i loved as dearly and also was not so tempted by others) i would certainly be regretful.

[Aura Seeker]

The grass isn't always greener on the other side. If you have all the components of love, why give that up? If you want sex to be better, then make it better! To have love and intimacy in a relationship is awesome. Use those qualities to enhance your sex together.

 

You may find someone that turns your crank sexually, but what about all the other important things? You don't want to be stuck with just good sex. It's lacking after awhile.

 

People look for a long time for what you have. Sometimes we let it go (I did) thinking I could do better, and never found it. It was a very stupid move on my part.

 

You make her sound great. And you are leaving? lol

 

A