I am so unsure its unbearable!

[rowboat]

Ok as the title suggests I am unsure about how a girl feels about me. There are so many mixed signals that I just can't tell anymore. We chat on MSN quite a bit, and flirt quite a lot.

 

Last week I met up with the girl and had a good time talking to her about different things. I thought it went well. After that I knew she had work nearly everyday, so did not ask to see her again. She came on MSN the other day and told me that she had the week off work. I then asked her if she wanted to do something with me on Tuesday(now tomorrow). She said she would love to. We were chatting on MSN and we were just sort of flirting at stuff with each other, and she said she was going to annoy me she saw me next. I asked how and she said "I'll kiss you" then ended with "on the cheek" Yeah I don't see how that was going to annoy me either!

 

Today I started a new course at a new uni, and she sent me a text message wishing me luck. I thought this was very kind, and at least showed interest whether just friendly or otherwise. Now just tonight I sent her a text to check whether we were still on for tomorrow. She replied saying that she was not well and had to see a doctor, but she was really sorry and that she really want to see me, and that if I go in MSN she will go on too. I told her that yes I will go on MSN but she should not worry about it, and that I hope she feels better soon. Anyway so I want on MSN and after a min she signs on(her nickname was "I cant take it anymore") so she said what was wrong and that she was so sorry that she really wanted to see me. She then asked me why I was so nice to her. I didn't really understand why she wanted to know this. Is it because she is trying to push me away by making me think she is not as good as I think? Or is she just insecure? So I answered with my own question of why is she so nice to me? She told me because I am interesting, nice and fun.

 

She also said something about 1 of her guy friends(note not -other guy friends-) keeps asking her out, but she keeps saying no, and that she just cant say yes. Why would she tell me this, she has to realise that I like her. Is she just trying to drive a knife thought me? She said she had to get sleep and was going to bed. When she had logged off, she had changed her name to " I wish I could tell you that I want you". Does this mean anything?

 

Sorry to make this a long post, but I just don't know anymore. Should I give her a call tomorrow, ask her how she is feeling, and see how the conversation goes, and maybe ask her out again. How do I make it clear that I want to date her?

[SaraJane]

Sounds to me like she has some emotional issues at the moment, and doesnt know what she wants herself. Her intentions may be good 'generally' but she may have conflicts within her mind preventing her from being the way she would ideally like to be.

 

Take your time with this one, I see a few things that are signs for some potential relationship crisis if you 'do' get serious with her.

[zippitt]

Yeah, I'm getting a negative vibe from that. She seems to be fishing for things to make her feel better about herself.

[Seko]

I don't think she's fishing.

I think she probably likes you, but she might be PMSing or have other issues with her emotions (she seems depressed). It sounds like she was just really upset and didn't feel like seeing anyone. I have days like that. I make excuses not to go out. But I'll talk to people on msn, and often end up spilling my emotions and insecurities out a bit more than I want to (which could sound like fishing I guess).

 

Did you ask her why she "just couldn't say yes" to her other guy friend? Becuase (although this may not be the case at all) I could see a very easy progression to "I wish I could tell you that I want you" as a msn name from a conversation where she is talking to the guy she likes about how she can't say yes to other guys right now. At that point, what she wants to say the most is "I can't say yes to him BECAUSE I LIKE YOU", but since she can't tell you that personally, she decides to put up an msn name that you might see and wonder. It's her way of telling you without telling you.

But again, I could be completely wrong. I don't know her. I'm just throwing out the idea

[Dating Coach]

You know, all of your problems would be solved by asking a single question. "How about I take you out on a real date Thursday? I know a great place...."

[rowboat]

Thanks Seko, and others.

 

When I asked her why she could not say yes to the other guy, she just said "i can't, I just can't". This gave me no insight at all. I dont know about the MSN screen name thing, whenever I change my screenname or picture she asks me about it, and what it means, and when she changes hers I usual aske her also. That is why i think this has to be something.

 

I know DiggityDogg that life would be so much easier if I could say that, but it does not come eaily to me. I can be quite shy sometimes, and I dont know how to approch it. Should I just come straight out and tell her that I like her on the phone?

[Dating Coach]

Should I just come straight out and tell her that I like her on the phone?

 

NO!

 

NEVER confess your feelings. That's way too much drama and puts way too much on her.

 

"Hey I like you so much, do you think you could be the same?"

 

That's quite a load to drop on her, it's not fun, it's not flirting, it's nothing but a load of drama and seriousness. BORING!

 

Instead, (in person) tell her in a confident/flirty way, "Hey Becky, I noticed you have a blast hanging out with me, so I decided to take you on a real date and show you what a good time really is. We get along great so I thought we should see if anything is there. There's this place _________ that is a good time, how 'bout I pick you up Thursday and you can go with me?"

 

Or SOMETHING! Just don't confess. Get to the point and ask her out.