How To Tell If She's Attraced...

[scatcatfhsu]

I've been really lucky here lately with the amount of new people that are around me. This particular girl is at work (and at work I mostly just go about my own business), but we are in two different departments and I haven't really been able to talk to her. I've always heard eye contact or making it a point to look at you or whatever is a sign of interest but that just seems sort of vague. What other signs exist?

[Dating Coach]

I've been really lucky here lately with the amount of new people that are around me. This particular girl is at work (and at work I mostly just go about my own business), but we are in two different departments and I haven't really been able to talk to her. I've always heard eye contact or making it a point to look at you or whatever is a sign of interest but that just seems sort of vague. What other signs exist?

 

Those are NOT reliable signs of interest unless she is licking her lips while looking at you. Anyone who thinks that these are reliable signs of interest don't know what they are talking about because "looking" at you could be completely innocent. I've caught myself staring at a girl when I was thinking about something else and only realized I was doing it until after she caught me. I was totally not interested but she probably thought I was.

 

A sign of interest is when she says "yes" when you ask her out. A sign of interest is showing up on time with her hair done up nicely and in a cute outfit. A sign of interest is her kissing you, grabbing your butt, having sex with you. Those are reliable signs.

 

99% of the other "signs" just as easily could be nothing at all, including flirting, hanging out, etc.

 

If you are really interested in knowing whether or not she likes you, walk up to her, start a converation, be funny by teasing her and giving her trouble, and then ask for her phone number. Not email, not AIM, etc, but her phone number. Give it a couple of days, call her, keep the conversation short, set up a weekday date of your choice, and kiss her at the end of the date. Of course there is room for adjustments but if you followed that script to a "t" you will find out 100% whether or not she is interested.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

A sign of interest is when she says "yes" when you ask her out. A sign of interest is showing up on time with her hair done up nicely and in a cute outfit. A sign of interest is her kissing you, grabbing your butt, having sex with you. Those are reliable signs.

 

99% of the other "signs" just as easily could be nothing at all, including flirting, hanging out, etc.

 

 

That is very true.

 

I've heard guys ask if things meant flirting that make me laugh, because I know it's not true:

 

Like, putting on lipstick, fixing hair, straightening clothes...

 

It's crazy....Hellloooo....I'm a girl, I like to fix my hair and I like to look good...It doesn't mean I like any particular male within a 50 ft radius of me.

 

I will say this. It might not be true for other women but If I'm flirting then I am getting physical, hugging, pushing, stealing his stuff (to get him to chase me and try to get it back...), And also, if I am teasing a lot then that might be a sign of flirting, though not necessarily.

[therookie]

I've heard guys ask if things meant flirting that make me laugh, because I know it's not true:

 

Like, putting on lipstick, fixing hair, straightening clothes...

 

It's crazy....Hellloooo....I'm a girl, I like to fix my hair and I like to look good...It doesn't mean I like any particular male within a 50 ft radius of me.

 

Sorry...I disagree! There are girls who will do the above to impress boys they like!

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Sorry...I disagree! There are girls who will do the above to impress boys they like!

 

I'm sure there are some...but not me...

[mrdarcy]

Well if she is looking at you, licking her lips AND squeezing her breasts....you're probably in a strip club, and um...I wouldnt read TOO much into those signals.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Well if she is looking at you, licking her lips AND squeezing her breasts....you're probably in a strip club, and um...I wouldnt read TOO much into those signals.

 

LOL! No doubt! Who does that anyway?

[Kevin T]

That'd be AWESOME if girls did that...

[mrdarcy]

Lol...no one that I know!

 

Truthfully though, Signals are all around us - if we only listen to them. Trouble is men often telegraph their signals with all the subtlety of a train wreck, while women can be so mysterious as to cause a potential suitor to feel like she doesn't really like him when she really does!

 

Sheesh! Its a wonder we even get together at all.

 

But Some of us must be reading those signals correctly. ;-)

[Markers]

I wouldn't say that there is a sign that would be 100% reliable. However, I would advice you to trust your feelings. If you make for example eye contact with her and she goes like "deer in headlights" or something, and you just get this instant feeling that it's good... then it probably is good and you should go for it as soon as possible. That has worked for me at least. If you get the feeling, act on it.

 

However, sitting around and waiting for these signs to come and things to happen is not the smartest thing in my opinion. When I'm attracted to someone, I try to ask the girl out as soon as possible. That way I get the answer quickly and don't have to wonder about whether she even knows I exist or not, and most importantly, there is no room for misreading or interpreting any signs.

[Kevin T]

Doing it right away is an excellent strategy. Saves you the trouble of even becoming nervous and spares you the sting of rejection (if by some freak chance you do end up getting turned down) since she didn't even get a chance to know you.

 

Of course, if it's done right, chances are she will not decline an offer to spend more time together, unless she already has a boyfriend.

[Texas2004]

The problem is, what do you do if the person you want to ask out is your co-worker? This is the problem I am dealing with. Our office and community are small, and I know there would be problems if we were together.

[Kevin T]

I'm pursuing a couple girls at work, as we speak. I say a couple because I'm not dating any of them yet, and don't want to cancel out my options yet. So I'll pursue each of them (individually, of course) and see where it goes. If I get somewhere and find someone I like, then I'll stop looking for the time being.

 

Now, as for your problem: Why wait any longer, dude? Just go for it! Who is she that she is "SO AMAZING" that you have to reverence and idolize her? She's an imperfect human being just like you, me and everyone else on the planet. Don't let her looks or status get to you!

 

How would there "be problems" if you were together? Others will talk? Let them! It'll generate conversation in the workplace, which is good! The ones who do talk are most likely jealous that you took the chance of getting to know someone like her at work anyway! So let them say what they want; it'll change nothing. And if you're thinking, "What if it doesn't work out?", stop it. You're already second-guessing yourself and expecting failure. How can you possibly succeed when you've already prophesied failure?

 

Trust me, changing that negative, fearful outlook is going to be the best thing you can do for yourself!

[Dating Coach]

Like, putting on lipstick, fixing hair, straightening clothes...

 

It's crazy....Hellloooo....I'm a girl, I like to fix my hair and I like to look good...It doesn't mean I like any particular male within a 50 ft radius of me.

 

Sorry...I disagree! There are girls who will do the above to impress boys they like!

 

To "therookie",

 

I think you completely missed the entire point. The point was not that "there are girls who will do the above to impress boys they like", it's that those are not reliable signs to judge someone's interest because there are far more girls who will do that to guys with whom they have NO romantic interest in. So iamateddybear was completely correct in her statement.

[Dating Coach]

I wouldn't say that there is a sign that would be 100% reliable. However, I would advice you to trust your feelings.

 

I will refrain from telling guys on here to trust their feelings unless they are proven dating masters. Just take a look around the forums. Most of the inexperienced guys have no idea how to read a situation and get totally lost by trusting their gut, their head, or anything. Sometimes it's best to get an outside opinion.

[Markers]

I will refrain from telling guys on here to trust their feelings unless they are proven dating masters. Just take a look around the forums. Most of the inexperienced guys have no idea how to read a situation and get totally lost by trusting their gut, their head, or anything. Sometimes it's best to get an outside opinion.

 

instead you would get an over-internet opinion from a bunch of strangers who have even harder time reading the situation because they don't usually get to know that much of it?

 

Of course trusting your feelings can be a bad thing if you have decided to over-analyze stuff and if you're determined to find a secret meaning in everything she does and says, a meaning that says "she must like me".

 

However if you don't do that and if you keep your head cool, you can trust your feelings and it can very much work for you.

[Dating Coach]

instead you would get an over-internet opinion from a bunch of strangers who have even harder time reading the situation because they don't usually get to know that much of it?

 

If they are much better at reading things? Yes.

 

Of course trusting your feelings can be a bad thing if you have decided to over-analyze stuff and if you're determined to find a secret meaning in everything she does and says, a meaning that says "she must like me".

 

This is pretty much what 90% or more of the guys who come here seeking advice do.

[Markers]

If they are much better at reading things? Yes.

 

how would you make sure that they are much better at reading things?

 

 

 

This is pretty much what 90% or more of the guys who come here seeking advice do.

 

That's why I suggested people to keep their head cool and then trusting their feelings

 

 

and I suggested people to make their moves quickly - that way you can find out very quickly whether you were right or wrong about the girl. Sometimes you need to learn things the hard way too.

[Dating Coach]

The person that makes the most sense. I guess it's pretty hard sometimes. A person could read what professionals have to say, like Doc Love from link removed or listen to people who give advice very similar to those pro's. A lot of times the person knows deep down but just doesn't want to believe it.