feelings for bestfriend?

[nanobaby]

Okay wow. I could honestly never tell you i'd expect to see myself here 2 years ago. But I guess things change.

 

I'm 15 years old.

 

Anyway, I met this girl, and she was really cool, and really nice. Like extremly nice. From the moment i met her, i kind of thought she had a thing for me. I guess I could feel it. So a couple months went by, and well. I started to have a little crush on her. And now were bestfriends, and have been for like 2 years. Were really close and everything, and I tell her EVERYTHING. But theres always akwardness because theres some underlying...underlyingness? And yeah. The alst couple months of school she got really really flirty. And starting saying dirty things to me, and then touching me. And..I liked it? But it was always kind of in a kidding way. So just before exams started we were talking about who we would make out with of the same sex. And I said her. and she said me. So one thing led to another, and i told her i liked her. And to my surpise she told me she liked me too. But she made it clear that she was not gay or bi or anything. But she had a crush on me. She also said "if you call me back tomorrow and tell me that this was all a joke adn you were kidding, I'm never going to talk to you again." I knew she was sincere, and all the signs pointed to yes. But what does she do 2 days later? "I don't like you like that...etc" So that left me completely confused. This girl just contradicted everything she said to me.

 

Jump to a few days later. WE were at her house with one other friend. She made the same remark "I don't like you like that." when I got really quiet and upset (not wanting to make a scene, bc of other friend.) she asked me what was wrong. Then my friend left to go to the bathroom. So she comes and sits really close to me and was like "whats wrong...oh you know i'm just kidding" and starts touching me lol. But then, the next day she says the same thing.

Its like her actions tottaly contradict everything she says.

So I talked to her about it and she said:

"well I do like you..but after I thought about it. And its just wrong. Your a girl, and i'm a girl. And I'm not gay. Your my bestfriend, and i don't want to ruin that...blah blah blah."

 

And yeah I get that. But it took alot of courage to tell her all that stuff. And i feel really used. And it really hard not to see her, or talk to her because were BESTFRIENDS. And who would I talk to about this kind of stuff? my bestfriend. So theres a big delima.

 

She constantly talks about the guys she likes and her first kiss and it drives me soo insane. I know i'm jealous. and its like shut up?

 

I never really liked a girll.. My old bestfriend was bisexual/and lesbian. But I was always chasing boys. And now I'm really really confused. I mean I want a girl? but i do still like guys. But theres more excitment in a girl I guess? I know how i feel...mostly. And I want to get over my bestfriend. So basically. Help?

[Cadence308]

I'm going to respond to this one. Sorry no one else has.

 

I think your friend has a serious crush on you, but she's feeling really conflicted about her sexuality right now. It really sounds like she's sincere when she tells you that she has a crush on you, but then she starts thinking about it and feeling really guilty so later on she revamps her original response. Until she is really ready to acknowledge to herself how she feels about you then there is nothing that you can do.

 

If I were you I would stop playing her games. It sounds like she likes feeling loved and needed by you, but is not ready emotionally or lacks the maturity to reciprocate. Next time she starts the "Who do you like" game, I would just tell her, "I'm not playing this game any more. I'm sick of you telling me that you are attracted to me and then changing your mind by telling me that you don't like me like that." Because until you end her game of charades you are going to be played and you will keep feeling bad.

 

I was in a similar situation about 2 years ago with a much older woman. She flirted with me, bad, and always wanted to know who I liked and went on dates with and stuff and then when I kind of let her know that I was attracted to her she freaked out. We are no longer friends. I'm also pretty sure she has a girlfriend. I should have ended her game sooner.

 

Hope that helped. If you need any more feedback feel free to PM me.

 

Ballys

[Tigris]

I had the same problem with my next door neighbour who was by best friend at the time. She is straight and knew how I felt about her and she'd purposely dress and undress in front of me to see what I'd do. I used to turn around so I couldn't see.

 

If she was in the bath and wanted to talk to me I'd stand on the landing. If she came out of a room naked I'd quickly start looking at the ceiling. The first time I did that she asked me what I was doing and I told her I was giving her some privacy. She laughed.

 

Another time I walked in the house and she had no knickers on. I took no notice and started talking to her and her boyfriend. He purposely commented about them during the conversation. I said I'd noticed as soon as I came in but it didn't bother me. He looked really disappointed. He was after a threesome and I told him he would never get one.

 

Sometimes she would cuddle me and kiss me on the cheek. One day she kissed me on the lips. She was drunk that time.

 

People shouldn't play with our feelings it hurts too much.

[nanobaby]

woah. thats pretty intense lol. She doens't really walk aroudn naked, but she does change infront of me, but thats pretty normal for friends to do anyway. I hate when people play with feeligns too..urggh.

Its kind of bittersweet, like dang they're hot when they do it or whatever but they never follow through. Like a tease I guess.

she makes sure i never tell anyone about what we 'do' which is like nothing, because shes scared... its just so confusing.

I've decided to do nothng about it.

[Tigris]

Good for you. Let her play her games by herself, she'll soon get sick of them.

[leicsbimale]

i think with guys it is different. i am married, and so is the guy i have sex with from time to time, but there is no pretending. so if this girl is coming onto you, and then not,

[Tigris]

How are you doing now?

[nanobaby]

mehhhh... I messed up bad. Shes really paranoid. And she is making sure I don't tell anyone about what happened. But nothing really happened? Aside from her doing everything,and touching me and laying with eachother. No kissing.. I think thats because it would be our firsts...and it would defiantly make it clear that she does have a crush on a GIRL.

 

You know? But I'm really trying not to like her, w/e. I'm not going to see her for a couple of weeks (i'm going on vacation)

 

I get really jealous and mad when she talks about guys she likes, and what she wants to do with them..lol. Its like right? okay.

 

I'm not sure how I feel though, I told her to forget everything I said and that I was really confused. Thats pretty much the truth, but it was more so I could get over her, and so things wouldn't be weird. I'm not sure at all what I want, or if I really do like her. I knew she liked me for some time, the signs were obvious and i kind of 'played along' never really liking her. But then I started to like her back...and then when she finally told me she liked me (after I told her) it was like YAY. And now thats over, and so is like all the fun stuff we used to do because I was honest and told her. Then she flipped out...

So i'm really not sure what to do here

[Tigris]

I think you should just stay away from her until you come back off holiday. That'll give you both time to think things over and get your heads sorted out.

[SarCareBear]

ahh i was in the same situation a couple years back. became best friends with a girl, one thing leads to another, and from then on its all about your "secret relationship"/facade of liking a million boys. DON'T get caught up in the games. you seem very down to earth, and most importantly, COURAGEOUS. take comfort in the fact that you are being the bigger person here!

 

trust me, if she's worthy of your affections, she'll step up to the plate... if not, it's her own loss due to insecurity and fear... goodluck and PM me if you want, i went through the same thing when i was 16 now i'm 18 with a GF and eh, there's a lot to consider. bye!