When NC isn't possible...

[juxtapose]

Hi all,

 

First timer here and in serious need of some advice. I'll try to be brief.

I'm currently in medical school and had been dating a fellow student until a few weeks ago. When school ended for the summer, She went back home for 3 weeks as did I. Upon our return, She, in tears, hit me with the "I dont think I can date you anymore" line.

 

I guess the relationship had become comfortable in my eyes, and her reasons for ending it made sense. Being a novice to long-term relationships, I pretty much failed on the little things. She felt like she put much more into the relationship than I did, and in all honesty, shes pretty much correct.

 

The situation at the time was ambiguous. I took time to compose my thoughts and wrote her a pretty honest letter in the following days. She thanked me for the honesty and said that during the relationship she changed as a person and was now looking to find herself again, and that the option of getting back together was completely unknown at this time.

I quickly obliged. Of course I did the typical beg and plead for a day or two, but I know that we both need time to heal, and I've come to terms with that.

My heart was telling me to do everything possible to get her back, but my head knows we both need time.

 

The problem is, once school starts up in a month, no contact is not even an option. I'm going to have to see her five hours a day and five days a week.

She and I both are chairs of two committees at school, so we are also going to have to communicate on that level as well. I guess my question is how to approach this situation while hanging on to emotional well-being at the same time. NC has always worked for me in the past, but I've never faced a situation like this before.

 

I'm a very pro-active learner so during the past few weeks i've come to grips with my relationship issues and I'm growing to fill in the gaps. I love her more than anything, and would gladly take another chance with her if the opportunity presented itself, but how do I even attempt that given the situation i'm in?

[lonestar_80]

The best thing you can do is to be cordial to her and to be her friend. Don't pressure her to rekindle the relationship. If she wants to get back together she will make an effort to let you know this. Try little contact and only contact her if it concerns school. Med school is very hard, so you should put all your focus on gradating and passing all of your classes.

[PRSOV]

Hi there Juxtapose and welcome to eNotalone,

 

All you should do is be polite and acknoledge that she when you see her around. If you do ignore her, she and her other friends will think you are arrogant and rude... which isn't neccesary and obviously not going to help.

 

If you are both mature about what is going on, and be civil during your studies then you should get by just fine.

 

PR