Day 5 of NC-Very sad, feel worse

[starbursts23]

Hi Everyone:

 

I am very sad today. Before I started work this morning I went into the bathroom and started crying, kinda asking why did this happen and will it ever stop...that sort of thing. I feel like I am on a slippery slope, I keep climbing but my feet sometimes won't grip.

 

My original thread is titled "Wanting to be together again", by me, starbursts23; if anyone wants to know my story.

 

I wish today was Saturday, because I feel so low right now, like I will never get past this pain. It feels like a rock in my chest. Today I just wanted to sit home and cry and basically just wallow. I am supposed to go out late tonight with my roommate, but at this point, I can't see myself going because I just want to crawl in a hole today.

 

Anyone who has advice for me, message me please. I need some help.

 

Thanks,

 

starbursts23

[littlesensitive]

Its tough, I know, because I have been there. I am posting on this site about my latest relationship, but when I broke up with my first love 4 years ago, I felt exactly the same way as you do now - the pain was intolerable and I would cry myself to sleep every night and again in the mornings in the bathroom while getting ready for work. But I have gotten over it and have grown stronger since with absolutely no desire to ever be with the ex, ever again. It took a long time, but I managed and have since met my current love, who I believe is the one for me and who I are about enormously. So you can do this - it just takes a while. You need to let yourself cry and get all the emotions out, but work will do you good and will help you think less about this. Go out with friends, even if you don't feel like it..talk to your closest friend about the pain as much as you need...but trust that this will pass - it WILL, I promise you, even though it may not seem like it now. And you will meet someone else and will fall in love again, and all this will be forgotten.

 

Keep strong

[calgaryguy]

Do not worry friend!! thngs will slowly get better, I know it might seem imposible right now but trust me, with time it gets so much better!!! I can promise you that. Stay positive and look on the bright side of things.

[starbursts23]

P.S. Update. I am slowly getting through the day right now. I am reading this book called "How to Survive The Loss of A Love" by Harold Bloomfield, Melba Colgrove, and Peter McWilliams. I just started reading this morning on the bus to work but I find it very insightful. I will probably read it many times over until I get through this.

 

I am still very sad, but not as bad as this morning. I have been reading more advice on this site and it is helping too.

 

Thanks again everyone! Also, i welcome more advice and tips as I will be up and down like a lot of us will for a long time.

[mikeywins21]

Its tough, I know, because I have been there. I am posting on this site about my latest relationship, but when I broke up with my first love 4 years ago, I felt exactly the same way as you do now - the pain was intolerable and I would cry myself to sleep every night.

 

Keep strong

 

 

 

Ummmmmmm if you broke up with your ex, then why was it so hard on you. Your the one that left. Not them...........

[BeStrongBeHappy]

Please try to spend some time this weekend doing things that do not directly related to him or the breakup... you need to take care of yourself, and whenever you think you are missing him too much, remind yourself that this is a person who has specifically chosen to leave you because he is chasing someone else, and has told you he *might* come back if that doesn't work out.

 

So he has clearly stated what his priorities are and they are this new woman, not you, so none of your priorities should be him!! so his decisions are already being controlled by her (or influenced to the point that he will dump a longtime love to go chase her).

 

this to me looks like he is an insensitive and selfish person, who is willing to jerk you around and have you hopefully waiting in the wings just in case some other woman dumps him!! we all tend to romanticize and see people we love thru rose colored glasses, but this guy has shown a willingness to drop you once already for someone else, and if you took him back, he would probably do it every single time he sees another woman he's interested in, or at really bad times in your life when you are not feeling well or at your best, so he skips off to a new playmate who appears more fun to him and leaves you crying... not a nice thing to do or a nice person. i think then in a little while, you will see this for what it is and be angry, which you have a right to be, and that anger can help you pull yourself out of grief and move on to new things...

 

i also think once you have some time and distance from him, you will see that taking him back would cause you far worse pain than anything you would go thru now to recover from this relationship and move on to someone who thinks you are such a prize he would not dare pull something like this becuase *nothing and nobody* is worth potentially losing you over. you deserve to be loved fully, and not as as a 'good enough for now' girl he can go to whenever his latest infatuation dumps him or turns sour.

 

take care sweetie, and keep your chin up, there's lots better than this man to be had, even tho you don't think so right now, you will realize it soon!!

[littlesensitive]

Mikey - I broke up with him because he cheated on me with like a million other girls...the man was/is incapable of being faithful. And I thank God every day that I found out and broke up with him. Things do get better...

[Riley99]

Starbursts - Hope you are feeling better today. Unfortunately, sometimes weekends are the times when it hurts the most, but take the opportunity to have coffee with a friend, or if you feel up to it, go out! Take it slow at first, maybe just to a bar with some lounge music, and it will take your mind off your pain. The key is one step at a time. I'm currently still teeter tottering between the denial-depression-acceptance stages, but the more I get myself out of the house and meet other people, the more I feel better -- slowly but surely. Surround yourself with happy, open and positive people. If you are at your lowest, there is nowhere to go but up.