HangingInThere Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 Why do you feel at ease or in a better place now? I feel so at ease for the past month or so....i felt liberated and oh so great when i decided to take a break/space from my ex, which ultimately turned into a breakup! Couldn't trust him or believe him anymore...his depression started to drive me carzy...I hung in there for a long time, put up with his moods just because I thought i needed to be strong and wait for him to overcome whatever it was he was going thru. he was so wrong for me, when i wrote on a piece of paper the pros and cons...the cons were ahead by a landslide! -he was stubborn -wrong and strong at the same time -not affectionate -not very hygienate...yeah i know -cannot have kids -low sex drive -wants fast money(doesnt have a career) - he's 36 -out of shape -still live at home -his friends are tacky (in all senses of the word) -he lies like every other hour -ego...ego...ego. (why i dont know) -says he hates to argue, but he is very argumentative -claims not to be a jealous person, but when he gets caught doing silly things things...oh forgive him, he'ss a jealous person -gossip like a 'girl' -life is beyond and unnecessarily chaotic...he put himself in so many jams i can go on, but if he ever stumbles upon this site or this thread, he would know its him and its me typing this stuff dont get me wrong, i am far from perfect (his family was extremely happy i came into his life and his sister even said to me a long time ago, we are not on the same level...i didn't know what she meant, then she said that i have too much going on and more mature and together than he is and perhaps his behavior stems from him being intimiidated and perhaps feels like he is less of a man. some of me: -affectionate -honest (for the most part) -great career -own 2 homes in the US (one i rent out, the other i just aquire and now lives in) & one home offshore -drive a brand new $82k car -not stubborn -loving -successful friends & family -loves to cook -keep a great home -had loving past relationships -compassionate Let this be a thread where you write the reasons that it makes sense that you are no longer a couple! Link to comment
violadeb Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 ***because we never really were a couple... Link to comment
Allie. Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 i think this activity is very healthy for you. its good you listed the pros and cons from both point of views. it shows you are a considerate, level-headed person. [= good for you. keep up the healing chica. Link to comment
HangingInThere Posted July 3, 2008 Author Share Posted July 3, 2008 Hey, back to the top Again, are you in a better place now that you aren't with your ex? List some reasons you are glad you are not together, perhaps you never thought about it deeply and that is why you are 'sad' or pine for the rela! Remember, you're not together for good reason(s), reasons that are probably beyond your comprehension and only God know why its best that your ex broke up with you or vice versa. Don't kick yourself in the butt that the rela didn't work out, thank God that you don't have to be in that place anymore and good is coming! Yup! Link to comment
bramage Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 I was feeling a little down today, and went through a similar list in my head. My god, what was I thinking. I think if I posted the list, you would all say: Never get back with that whack!!! And to tell you the truth, today, day 6 of NC, I actually realized I may not even want this, even though I thought I did. OMG.. the list would read like a "who not to pick for a relationship" guide Should I? Hmmm It might make me feel better, its not like anyone knows who she is. Link to comment
BetterKarma Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 We are no longer a couple because...we are no longer in a relationship. Simple as that. Link to comment
HangingInThere Posted July 4, 2008 Author Share Posted July 4, 2008 Go for it Bramage! Link to comment
bramage Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Well, I started the list, but it seems way too personal. A lot of "our" problems were due to my expectations, and her response to the way I was acting. I tried to make up for being an a-hole over the years by being the perfect boyfriend. Only I came off as a push over. I then felt like a door mat. Again, my fault. But oh well.. NC is a week tomorrow. I still feel a little uptight, but Im moving on. Who knows what the future holds. Link to comment
HangingInThere Posted July 4, 2008 Author Share Posted July 4, 2008 Bigger and brighter things for you, Bramage. Your blessings are heading your way - I don't subscribe to the 'good guy finish last' Link to comment
Panda2008 Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 It makes sense that we are no longer a couple because he acts like a child while I act like an adult. Link to comment
ccali78 Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 We are no longer together because he had some big family issues that involved us and he was not strong enough to get past it. He thought he could but he couldn't. His parents are very selfish controlling people. But in the end he does not yet have his family or me... He has himself and he is fixing himself.. Whatever that means!!!!!! Link to comment
HangingInThere Posted July 4, 2008 Author Share Posted July 4, 2008 Ccali, aren't you glad that you are not part of his mess anymore? The worrying, perhaps some sleepless nights, not knowing if you're going or coming. Not sure if you ended the rela or he did, but whomever did, consider it a blessing in disguise! Link to comment
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