The perfect guy for me....

[fishrrshortae]

Hey everyone, please advise ...

 

There's this guy I'm good friends with.. He lives in California (I'm in NY) and he just finished his master's degree. He is either going to stay in Cali to complete his doctorate, or he will (probably) move to Idaho to be close to his family.

 

Problem for me: he's perfect for me. He is the only guy I have ever been able to see myself married to. We both love each other very much. He is everything I have ever wanted in someone ... we tried the LD thing, and it didn't work out because I found out he was considering leaving after getting his master's to come to where I live, just to be with me. To take myself out of the equation, I broke up with him after just a few weeks of officially dating. I didn't want him to consider me when deciding what to do with his future.

 

That being said, I have tried to move on. I have dated other people and it just makes me painfully aware that the perfect guy for me lives on the opposite coast, and here I am wasting my time with guys that I don't like or have much in common with. I know he has dated as well and is having the same problem.

 

Any advice or words of wisdom would be appreciated

[Meow18]

I think that you either have to try to make it work long distance, or get over him.

 

At this point it sounds like you need to work on getting over him. It's not going to be easy, and it's not going to happen over night.

 

Do you still talk to him? If so, I suggest no contact. That will help.

 

If you really want it to work out, why not see if he's willing to give it another try?

[fishrrshortae]

I think he'd be willing to .. but I don't see the point, when there is no ultimate plan to meet up in the same city eventually..

 

I'm going to be seeing him in August, we are going to Cleveland together, then he's going to stay at my apartment for a few weeks.. Not sure what to do. I know I should just get over him, but I can't seem to find a guy that has all of the qualities he has.

[Meow18]

Why are you seeing him in August? Maybe you should wait until then to talk about a relationship with him?

 

If you really care about someone, and you are willing to try to make it work, it's always worth it.

[fishrrshortae]

We are meeting up in Cleveland with some mutual friends that are coming in from all around the country .. there hasn't been any talk of a relationship, although I'm sure if I brought it up again he'd be at least somewhat agreeable to the idea.. I just feel stuck in a rut.

[Meow18]

I can understand why you feel the way you do.

 

Relationships aren't supposed to be stressful. If being in a long distance relationship is stressful for you, then maybe it's not worth it.

 

But I would wait until you see him in August to worry about this.

[fishrrshortae]

I don't worry about it a lot...... it's just annoying when guys come up and try to talk to me, and I just feel like it's pointless to bother, ya know?

[Meow18]

I can understand that. But if there's an attraction with these other guys, why do you feel like it's pointless to bother? Who knows what might happen.

 

The point of dating, or meeting new people is just to find out what's out there. Maybe there is something more perfect than what you think?

 

So, in other words, don't be so quick to turn these other guys down. At least give them a first date.

[fishrrshortae]

lol thanks meow for the advice.. you're right, I will not be so quick to turn them down...