i cant forgive her

[perfectlyperfectless]

My best friend and i have been friends since we were in the 6th grade, and we are now in highschool. However this past year she became very active in drug use and spent probly 6 months of the school year in a drug and alcohol induced daze. During this she did horrible things to those who loved her. She said horrible unforgivable things to me, her "best friend". And at one point told me that she hated me and told me exactly what kind of a person i was, which consisted of horrible things. She showed up to winter finals stoned off her @$$. The worst day that i can remember, she was at lunch and just nobody was home. she would laugh at the air and everyone at our table just kinda looked at each other. To make a very long story shorter this continued for those 6 months and the only reason she "quit" was b/c she got caught by an old teacher that she respected. she would often claim that she was off but then it was obvious that she wasnt and she'd admit to it. Now about 3 months later she's had a few "slips" back into oxi and pot....well that i know of. and now she wants to put it all behind us. and i want to, i really truly do, and i want to trust her like i did before, but she's lied to my face soooooo many times and her last "slip" was only a couple weeks ago so its not really in the past. Plus i cant get over the fact that shes supposed to be my best friend and she said all that to me and she lied to me that much and she has never really truly appoligized however she has sat and listened to some of what i wanted to say about it. She lost alot of good friends for those few that only liked her high, and she now realizes that.

 

i really want to forgive her, and i really want to put it in the past b/c she is my best friend and i love her, but i cant. and i know thats really crappy of me but im not even sure if she is off off or what the future holds. ](*,) so if u have any suggestions or similar stories, they would greatly be appriciated

 

~confussed~

[yeawutever]

Yea, sometimes friends can be backstabbers when you least expected, but some do learn and actually do regret what they did. If you see she's really sorry about it and wants to talk to you again, has learn from her mistake, then give her another chance.

[BetterKarma]

Did something traumatic happen in her life in the past year or so that might have triggered such behavior?

 

Unfortunately, the friendship sounds very toxic to you and unless she gets help on her addictions there is little chance for your friendship.

 

Has her family tried to put her in rehab or help her get some sort of treatment? Maybe they can put together an "intervention." If you are close to her family, maybe you can have a talk with them and express your concerns. However, be prepared for some backlash from your friend because they will become very defensive. Here's a link about link removed.

Good luck.

[perfectlyperfectless]

thank you for your responses

 

as an answer no, i dont know of anythng that happened to trigger it, shes never had a very good home life however.

 

and we already are talking and similar to what we were before all this happened...just not when the whole subject of drugs comes up plus i know that if she is still on anything, it isnt nearly as bad as it was.

 

so i guess my next question is how do i begin to forgive her?

[Managor]

Drugs can do that to people, I think if she's genuinely trying to stay away from drugs from now on you should definitely try to build up your friendship again. I doubt she had any real concept of what she was saying when she was under such influence.

 

She was a different person when she was on drugs, different to how she is now and how she was before she got on them; There's no real way you could forgive her nasty alter ego, but if you leave that part of her in the past it might help you to forgive her.