help :(

[annie24]

thanks everyone, i really appreciate this.

annie, that sounds like a very good idea but he doesnt want to see me, he said to just get over it and move on... which hurts alot.

betterkarma, his family knows that we've been going out for a long time but i dont think they know that its been exactly 4 years. i dont think they would care anyways. they tell him that they will disown him if he doesnt marry an east indian girl.

salt, thanks but i really do believe that's why we're breaking up. he isnt the type to lie about something like this.

 

I would think that after 4 years, he would at least be mature enough to say goodbye to you in person. 4 years is a lot of time! You deserve to have closure, and he should have said this all in person.

 

Given your past (on again/off again), I would definitely tell him that if he is serious about this, it's over for good. he can't come back to you next week.

 

Do you feel you have closure? Do you feel ready to move on?

[annie24]

I guess what I am getting at is that your bf is still very young. No matter how mature you might think he is. He is very conflicted by what his family tells him and how he really feels. Maybe now that he is older, his family might be pressuring him to settle down with a woman that he will marry. Either way, it's hard when families and cultures clashes. Does his family know that you two have been together for 4 years?

 

Yes, I agree. This is what I was getting at.

 

I know that my family would also like me to marry someone of my own cultural/religious background. But, I've dated enough by now that if I meet a great guy, and he is of a different race or ethnicity, I won't break up with him just because my family doesn't like his race. It is hard to come accross someone you really care about and click with. I'm not about to let my family's predjudices sway my personal life. They can disown me if they'd like. I have my own career, own life, I can take care of myself if they disown me.

[Allie.]

I know that my family would also like me to marry someone of my own cultural/religious background. But, I've dated enough by now that if I meet a great guy, and he is of a different race or ethnicity, I won't break up with him just because my family doesn't like his race. It is hard to come accross someone you really care about and click with. I'm not about to let my family's predjudices sway my personal life. They can disown me if they'd like. I have my own career, own life, I can take care of myself if they disown me.

 

Hmm Annie, I wish so much that there were more ppl in this world that thought like you! =D my ex was my best-friend and i knew that he didn't date girls who weren't "white or christian" and so i hid my feelings but he initated a relationship and i entered but he ended it very soon saying he was getting a feeling that "God doesn't want us to be together" and he felt guilty..blah blah blah blah blah.

 

Racism. is. horrible.

 

Allie.