feeling miserable

[Momene]

I would actually not just leave him but blow the whistle on him and write to his ex wife and her solicitor, the church and his family. He has been totally dishonest and that dishonesty needs to be revealed. It isn't revenge, it's justice.

[Hope75]

Hey Laura,

 

How are you doing?

 

Is everything OK?

[lauragutierrez]

Momene,

 

I just read your post and I just wanted to do that so many times. I had so much anger and I felt so humilliated that I really wanted to let the world out there that I do actually exist. I wanted to write to everyone and say how much of a hypocrit he has been. I wanted to tell everyone out there that I have been living with him for nearly a year. I wanted to shout out loud, so loud to stop feeling like someone said before "a dirty little secret". I am so sick of having been hidden that as you said it is not for revenge but for justice. The problem with me is that I am too good, too good to hurt other people.

[lauragutierrez]

As for the rest, the latest is that he got a job in Kuwait. He told me on a Wednesday that he was going to start beginning of August and that I needed to organise all my things to leave the house around that time as he has to empty everything and thereforeeee I need to go. For the last two weeks I have been up to walls organising everything. That is why I didn't write here. I notified at my work only last week that I am leaving and I have to get out soon. He says the job over there is a good opportunity to have a break and he came home with a booking for an air ticket for me to go back to Spain. I was actually going to go back regardless but for reasons of my course, visa and work here I was trying to make the effort to last till October as it was more convenient for me, however from one day to another he said he was going and I have to leave.

 

So I am going back and I already have the ticket with me. I am flying out on the 12th of August. Of course, I know it is the best for me. I can't wait to get out of here.

 

But I have so much pain, so much anger, so much frustration, and not because of him, but for how low I feel, for how humilliated I feel after a full year and think that no one knows that I have been here that I would love so much to spit it out. I wish so much I was capable to just go and let people know. Momene, when I read what you wrote I couldn't believe that that is exactly what I wanted to do for so long.

[Momene]

Yes, I think you should expose him for what he is - a hypocrite and a liar.

[Hope75]

Hey Laura,

 

I just read your latest post and I wanted to say how sorry I am that it ended this way, with him forcing you out of the house. At least, he is finally putting an end to something that was unhealthy anyway, and pushing you faster to do something that in the long run is a better outcome for you.

 

I'm happy for you in the respect that now you get to go home to your family and get back your dignity and self respect.

 

As for blowing the whistle on him, sure you can do that, but does it make you any better than him? I'm not one to look for revenge (and that is what it would be- to hurt him as much as he hurt you) because although it might make you feel better in the short term, it really makes you no better than him and brings you down to his level. That kind of stuff just poisons my soul- I'd rather go knowing that handled myself with maturity and dignity.

 

You are better than that.

 

As for until you go home to Spain, are you on speaking terms with him- did he formally end the relationship?

 

I hope you will keep us updated on your life, even after you return home to your family. I know how excited they will be to see you.

 

Hang in there.

 

((HUGS))

[Momene]

Well, revenge is part of it but don't the people in his life deserve to know what they are REALLY dealing with, instead of having to guess and work it out for themselves?

[Hope75]

Well, revenge is part of it but don't the people in his life deserve to know what they are REALLY dealing with, instead of having to guess and work it out for themselves?

 

I think if this guy is given enough rope- he will hang himself. His family knew about Laura already and didn't like her. She's not likely to change their minds- they will likely always side with their son.

 

His wife left him already...

 

And the church... well, who knows if they would forgive him or send him packing.

 

Either way, Laura's energies are better focused on forgetting this jerk and moving on with her life. It's not her job to let the world know he's a jerk-- he's doing a fine job of that on his own.