Charge him rent?

[mck2006]

Hello,

 

I have been together with my bf for over 2 years and we are now moving in together. I have just bought a house and was wondering if it is fair to charge him rent? I am not paying for rent or a mortgage, but will have about $400/month of bills (tax, inurance, phone, heating etc etc) to pay. I was thinking of charging my bf around $400 to cover these, since it is my money that is paying for the house, appliances, furniture etc etc. I would also pay for any renovations or repairs on the house. I was wondering if this is fair? I feel bad not paying these bills but at the same time have spent a LOT of money on everything else. We would split groceries 50/50. Do you think this is fair? He does not have very much money in the bank, but will have an okay paying job than me shortly, so will be able to afford it... What do you think?

 

Thanks!

[avman]

I think it is more than reasonable to split the bills in whatever way seems fair. However I am confused if you are saying you are not paying for a rent or mortgage. Is the house being paid for in cash? So then you have no payment?

 

If I assume there is no mortgage, then I think hitting your bf for all the other bills is a little out of line. After all, you'd have to pay those bills yourself if you lived in the house alone. I think splitting those costs with him would be more fair.

[Scotcha]

I agree. Split the costs.

[mck2006]

Yes I'm paying cash. This is where I am having the problem though. If we split the bills 50/50, I will end up paying much more than him, because I have had to put all the money down for the house (he put nothing down) I also had to spend $5000 on appliances, and all the furniture is mine. I will have to pay $4000 for a new roof more money for insulation etc, painting etc etc. So I am paying for the house and all that is in it, he would only have to pay $400/month bills. It's a weird situation, which is why I needed to post here for advice! But I think that I would feel a bit used if I paid for everything, then half the bills too...

[Dako]

I'd split the expenses, and not become his landlord by charging rent.

[Scotcha]

But I think that I would feel a bit used if I paid for everything, then half the bills too...

 

I understand where you are coming from but I don't agree. Imagine how used your boyfriend would feel if your relationship were to end. The house that he paid halfsies for is all yours.

 

Edit: If you end up getting married, get a pre-nup. The house is yours, period.

[Meow18]

I think you and your boyfriend should talk. I think that he should be expecting to have to pay something.

 

Talk to him about what the reasonable amount would be. Just explain that you can't handle paying all the bills and stuff by yourself. I'm sure it won't be as big of a deal to him as you think it might me.

[avman]

Yes but you also own the house all by yourself. He gets nothing of that which is fair because he didn't put up the money.

 

After that, if you were living in the house by yourself, you'd own all the bills. So I think that is why it is fair to split just those. If the relationship ends he walks away with nothing. He's your boyfriend, not a tenant.

[mck2006]

I'd split the expenses, and not become his landlord by charging rent.

 

This is true, I don't want to feel like his landlord! But then I would have to ask him for half the house money. I would have to ask him for 2500 for the appliances, half of the repair costs (about 5000) and he just doesn't HAVE this kind of cash so I could never ask him for it. I do not have any money left over except what I kept aside to pay for all of these repairs. Now my boyfriend, on the other hand, has no money in the bank, but he is about to start a well-paying job. We were looking into me putting 50% down and him paying the mortgage, then we would both own half the house, split the bills 50/50 and it would be very simple. But since I have put everything down (and have very little money in the bank now) he will not have to pay mortgage. So we have to find another way to split it 50/50 and this is where it gets complicated. Splitting the bills 50/50 while I pay for everything else wouldn't actually be 50/50, you know?

[Dako]

That's an interesting breakdown of the expenses.

I'd think he'd offer a reasonable way to share expenses, especially with his GF. Maybe he'd be happier paying rent just to clear the air.

[Scotcha]

Splitting the bills 50/50 while I pay for everything else wouldn't actually be 50/50, you know?

 

Of course it would. You OWN the house.

[RayKay]

Well, I think you two have to sit down and really hash this out.

 

I can see where you are coming from. I don't think him putting money towards bills, and groceries is unreasonable. Maybe instead of "rent" he just pays all those utility bills and groceries. I think he should contribute SOMETHING, and to say he shouldn't do nothing as it's "your house" is not fair either, as it's YOUR home together.

 

I really think something in writing is important, BEFORE you move in together! I do NOT think it is reasonable that he would not pay ANYTHING.

 

Actually, the arrangement my partner and I have is as follows.

 

He has the mortgage under his name, though we bought the house "together", as I am going back to school and cannot have it under my name. So, I pay a rental fee of $400 towards mortgage and bills. This will be in writing. I can't do half and half due to my return to school so we worked this agreement out.

 

However, he will still be "paying more" even though it is OUR house - for the mortgage, the bills, the renovations and so forth. However he is not holding that against me, and I am still putting work into it, I really think that it is you cannot get into "who pays more for what" as it really depends on your agreement, and should not be used against one another. When I am out of school and have a salary again, we can rethink how we do things (or move and buy new house).

 

It really depends on you as a couple though. It's important he is protected though too. One of my friend's knows a couple whom just broke up. He bought house, she lived with him for a year, sunk lots of her own money into the house for reno's, paid him "rent" and he dumped her, there was nothing in writing and he won't give her ANYTHING back, even though she helped him build the equity. They were not "legally" common law yet either.

[mck2006]

I think you and your boyfriend should talk. I think that he should be expecting to have to pay something.

 

Oh we have talked, and he does expect to pay something! My problem is that he I don't know what is normal in this sort of situation and don't want to have either of us feel used.

 

I was going to pay for all for the summer bills too since he doesn't start work until September, (at which point he will actually be making more than me).

 

Assuming the bills are about $400/month and half of these are his anyways since he is living there, then it is like him paying $200 rent plus his share of the bills... My house would rent out for at least $1200/month PLUS bills if he were to rent it. So it really DOES end up being a very good deal for him... And the $200/month will help me pay for repairs etc..

 

I could just get him to write the cheques etc to the billing companies, but since most are in my name as they are carried over from my last home, it might get confusing. Of course I could pay them and get him to write me a cheque for the bills each month, but of course then we'd have to sit down each month and discuss numbers and who wants to do that?

[RayKay]

I think he can pay them even if his name is different. In my apartment, my bf and I would write out separate rent cheques though lease was in my name for example. I think the utilities it works the same, as long as they are getting paid and the account is indicated, they are happy.

 

Check with your utility companies, but I know people whom are

"fortunate" enough to have parents whom paid their bills in school and their parents paid even with it under kids name.

[Holiday]

There are so many different arrangements you can come up with. If you made a lot more than your guy and you are way better off, and you're confident he's with you for the right reasons, then by all means, I think you should cut him some slack. Expect the same if he ever catches a windfall.

[avman]

I think the most important thing is to come to something you both can live with. Remember, he's not a tenant so it's not like you have to charge him enough to cover repairs and things. IF that stuff comes up then you both can talk about how best to cover it. If he happens to have extra money then maybe he can pay for some of the repairs. Or he can do work on the place that you might have had to pay someone else to do like remodeling, repairs, painting, etc.

 

Oh and utility companies do not care who sends them the check. As long as they get paid they don't really ask questions.

[Considerate Empath]

Can't you just put your money together? So that his money is your money, and your money is his money? Think of the two of you as one person?

 

 

//C.E.

[Beyondthesea]

You should sign an agreement saying what's yours is yours, what's his is his and if the relationship should end, what you come in with is what you walk out with.

[Meow18]

Can't you just put your money together? So that his money is your money, and your money is his money? Think of the two of you as one person?

 

 

//C.E.

 

That's what I was thinking.. but if they should break up one day, it could be ugly. But breaking up with someone you live with can be ugly anyway.

 

I really think you should look at it in that way though. I mean, don't literally put your money together and make it so that you can spend the money he makes, or he can spend yours. But think of it more in the way that you are sharing the money that it put towards the bills and such.

 

I think you should just look at how much you will both be making and divide it that way. Or everytime you have to make a payment, you can both put in as much money as you can handle for that bill.

 

If he's going to go broke because he's paying $400 a month, then obviously that's not how much he should pay.

[Momene]

I'd legally make sure the house is your for now but make sure running costs like energy and phone are split 50/50.

[Maverick32x]

why not figure out how much the house is, and just divide the bills that he is slowly catching up to 50/50? so.. lets say the house is $3,000 and you paid it all in cash. and it costs about $1,000 a month to keep everything in the house.. groceries.. repairs.... utilites.. ect (cheap house!) why not have him pay like $800 a month... you pay $200, until he catches up to paying about $1500 more than you in bills over a course of however long you guys agree on... which would cover half of the house payment.. and make the house half yours... and half his...

I guess thats kinda confusing it makes sense in my head >_

[mck2006]

Thanks so much for everyone's advice, it REALLY helps having an outsiders view on things!

 

Can't you just put your money together? So that his money is your money, and your money is his money? Think of the two of you as one person?

 

 

//C.E.

 

Unfortunately I think Im just too much of a cynic to do that. People break up all the time and if we broke up after giving him half my house and money I would be pretty upset!

 

I'd legally make sure the house is your for now but make sure running costs like energy and phone are split 50/50.

 

My name is on the deed. I won't have to do anything more than this to make it legally mine would I? We don't do taxes together or anything, and don't have kids, so shouldn't be considered common law...

 

 

why not figure out how much the house is, and just divide the bills that he is slowly catching up to 50/50?

 

This would make sense, but unless he wants to pay a lot of money for many many years down the road.... We are thinking that the next house we move into he will be able to split a down payment at which point we will be able to share the place and mortgage etc, so much easier!

[Meow18]

I think that it's really just something you and your boyfriend should come up with together. He probably told you to decide what you think is fair, but it matters what he thinks is fair too.. you know?