Just what is a "friend" anyway?

[niceguy_gb]

Hey everyone, i'm new here and just thought i'd post a message about my current situation and see if anyone can give me any advice!

 

About 3 weeks ago i met a girl at work, i really fancied her and we started chatting etc and got on really well. We chatted every day for a week or so, then i decided to ask her out for a drink. We went out for a meal that weekend and were together for hours - it was great! The night ended with our first kiss which was fantastic too.

 

We've now been out about 6 times (cinema, meals etc) and every time i thought we'd got on really well, always ending the night with an increasingly passionate kiss. We're constantly texting each other and chatting at work. She's told me that she isn't looking to get into a relationship right now, and that she has other male "friends" who she goes out with and kisses on a regular basis. She says that she just sees us as friends and wants to carry on like that. She's also concerned about our age difference (she's 20 and i'm 27) though i don't think that's an issue at all. I'm interested to hear what other peoples take is on the whole "friends" issue. To me, i wouldn't passionately kiss a friend! She takes it a little further, but was also keen to point out that she doesn't sleep with any of these friends (including me!).

 

What should i do? Do i continue seeing her, maybe given time she'll come round to my point of view, or do i walk away and not let myself get too attached to someone who may go on to break my heart?

 

Thanks!.....

[segagirl]

Hi Niceguy,

 

I have to say a girl after my own heart...smart girl. I am a little older than her, and it took me awhile to be able to stop looking for relationships and start dating. I think that "friends" is used for lack of a better term in the english language...lol but really. I say its just fine she is interested in getting to know people, take her time and explore what's out there. In the long run she will be a better partner for it. I say keep seeing her, just enjoy the time you spend and see where it leads. I have a feeling that if she really likes you in time you will have her..but a least its a girl that is smart enough to not just jump with a hot kiss! She is a keeper, for now!

You will know if it runs itself out....there will either come a time when you move a step further, or decide she is not what you want. Until then just enjoy!

Sega

[niceguy_gb]

There's another aspect of our relationship that i neglected to mention in the first post. Though we work for the same company, we are at different sites, and we have an internal IM system. So this girl and I spend loads of time sending messages back and forth (and via mobile phones too). She seems to become a different person when she's "behind the screen" if you like. I suppose i do too, but the messages that we send to each other are becoming increasingly erotic. If i mention any of it when i'm with her she just tells me not to! But i stuggle to keep these two worlds separate!

 

Thanks for the responses up to now!

[lolpants]

At last! I've found someone who's in the same situation as me exactly! Thanks niceguy, its good to know there isnt just me in this situation!

 

Your description of this girl is alarmingly similar to the girl I like! She's younger than me, we constantly chat and message each other and often go out to places! But she isnt looking for a relationship yet and just wants us to be friends, but insists we are "very good friends"!

 

So right now, I'm just playing it cool and letting her call the shots! I let her decide where she wants to go when we go out and I don't push my luck too much any more, i just go with the flow! I keep it friendly and fun! It makes her happy and i see each time we go out as an opportunity for her to like me more!

 

I would say just take it as it comes. People often say the best relationships are built on the best friendships...so play it cool mate, be her friend (for now ), have some fun and you never know, you might just achieve your goal in time...

[Vash]

not to be the bearer of bad news but it sounds kinda funny im 15 but i know alot if she is seeing other guys and kisses them you may want to leave her alone because of the facts.

- you dont want to become jealous

-you dont want to be hurt(who does?!?)

-you dont want to make her feel uncomfortable

if i were you though i would continue being friends with her and if she seems like she wants to be with you after a while then be with her like i said im only 15 i have little experience so i wouldnt drag on anything i just said there