What do you think?

[pablovblack]

I am pretty convinced now that no matter what I do (nothing as I'm doing NC) is going to get back my ex GF, but I have a little problem that needs sorting out sooner rather than later.

 

I made her Dad a website a couple of years ago and the name of the website includes her last name as that is what her dads business is called, I administer the whole website including the fact that I host the website on my personal server(computer) so I see it every time I go onto there....

 

I dont want to have anything to do with it anymore for obvious reasons and have written up some documentation so that he can do it all himself and I dont need to be involved.

I think it is a good thing that I do this and simply dont delete it so it just stops working as that seems a little childish to say the least, so I will send him a letter stating in the nicest possible way that I can no longer deal with it and hope he understands why etc etc.

But I was also going to add one extra thing to the letter and would like to know what you fine folks think about this. About 8 months ago Me and my ex fell out and I ended up getting into a heated argument with her parents I said some things that looking back where not very mature of me and to this day I regret saying them, So in the later I was going to put a couple of lines saying that I was sorry for the things I said and wish her mum and Dad the best in the future and hope there is no animosity or ill feeling toward, I havent spoken to them since this happened you see...

 

Will my ex see this as * s s kissing in the hope that it might make her think I'm being decent and take it the wrong way or that my intentions are good, my intention is to close some issues that are bothering me since I have developed myself as a human being these last few months..

 

Should I just send the instructions for the site administration and nothing else or should I had a couple of lines of an apology and best wishes...

 

I would appreciate your opinions on this matter as I need to do it pretty soon.

[Sad_now]

No. As long as it's from you to her parents, I think it's a decent thing to do.

[shes2smart]

I'd treat the issue as being strictly between you and her parents.

 

Apologising is the correct (and classy) thing to do, as is giving them notice so they can make other arrangments for their website. Unless they're unreasonable people, I think they should understand your reasons for removing yourself from their website.

[crvers]

I totally agree with you severing all ties between you and your ex, especially if these ties are continually decreasing the quality of your life and sanity. .

 

Being the website is basically business, treat it as such. Send the instructions and notice of you removing them from your server. I would be very clear about your reasons behind this but don't place blame anywhere. Just state you feel at this time it would be wise for them to take control over their website and you feel in the long run for all parties it would be better that way. An apology is decent, but don't go too far with it. Be very short and clear that you are sorry for the altercation between you and them and wish them the best. BUT, definitely make sure you do this for yourself and not to see if you get a reaction out of your ex.

 

Same thing with the "box" of item you have. Maybe drop it off with the instructions for the website. Just tell them that these are some things that you feel she should have back. But don't get into explanations about it. Just leave it with them.

 

Your doing better than you were a month and a bit ago. Over time it will definitely get easier. Make sure every step your taking is in a forward motion for yourself. As long as you do that you will make it to the end of this street and into another intersection of choices. Follow the line and you'll get there.

[pablovblack]

Thanks guys, I think I will do it as it needs to be done

 

crvers

Thanks for your words they are very welcome and much appreciated, Yeah I am certainly doing a lot better than I was a month and a half ago, things are beginningto become more clear and I'm looking forward to the future instead of dwelling in the past which is a terrible thing to do.

 

Thanks again friends.

[need2bme]

I too think it would be a great thing. I tried it, but her family "Caller IDs" me. I think it is the right thing to do. Make amends, whenever possible.

[joyce1412]

i've realized it's never too late to apologize if you did something lame. most everyone will eventually accept your apology if you're sincere and are not trying to get something from them. i think they will appreciate it.

 

i also agree with the others about not being too specific as to why you can't administer the site anymore. "it kills me to see your daughter's name!" should not be in the letter. again, treat it as business, you being professional will be appreciated as well.

[Netguy]

I agree with everything that's been said. This is a personal issue that has spilled over into business. And its comendable that you are going to show the dad how to do it himself instead of just stopping it. Bravo!