Stressed

[We All Fall Down]

I really dont know what to do, or how to even go about explaining it. My G/F and I have been together awhile now. We have had alot of rough times and good times. But there is a catch. About 4/5 years ago a girl I dated moved away and joined the air force. I was huge on her, and really I still do have feelings for her shes really great... the thing is shes coming back from the Airforce in a few months for good. I really dont know what to do or where to go with this. I care about my G/F and really dont want to hurt her. I know if I stay with her while I have feelings for someone else will only hurt her more. I just wish I knew how to go about things. Having a thing for a girl for 5 years that moved away mite be crazy but we have cept in touch and still are vary close. I am just confused... Maybe I am just venting... Any suggestions on what and how to go about letting my G/F down slowly about this would help... I know the truth is always good, but I really dont want to tell her there is someone else that moved away 4 years ago and is now coming back is the reason. I just dont know...

[Belle]

The grass isn't always greener. 5 years ago you two were different people. I've seen this happen with friends of mine. The guy went back to his ex of 10 years and dumped a friend. It lasted 6 months and he came crawling back to my friend. She had already moved on and to this day he still regrets his foolishness.

 

Think before you do this. I've seen a lot of people do this and it rarely works out after this length of time. I think you're operating based off of a fantasy of how you remember her and that's not going to be how she is.

 

Just a warning.

[Dubzuk]

i really think u need to think carefully about this, its could be a big mistake but on the other hand it could be good, if ur going to finish things with ur current g/f then u need to tell her the truth, its might hurt her but at least u wouldn't have lied, she will prefer u tell her the truth.

[Allie.]

Hmm. I just have one simple quote to add to this thread. So hopefully it'll be of some use. =D

 

"Never leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love but the one you love will never leave you for the one they like."

 

I think you need to decide who your love is and who your "like" is. If I were you, I would stick with the girlfriend and just merely inform her of what is going on because she obviously means a lot to you and I think she deserves to know what's going on.

 

Best o' luck bro.

Allie.

[saltwatergirl]

It would be nice to reconnect with this person from your past and see if there is anything there, if you were free to follow this impulse and see where it leads. However, you aren't in a position to do that, because you have a girlfriend. It's really that simple.

 

Consider this a person you WOULD have pursued IF YOU DIDN'T have a girlfriend, but because you do and you care for her, you will leave this situation alone as it is only a FANTASY, and what you have now is REAL.

 

THere will be millions of times someone will cross your path and set off some voice in your head of "hey I could have her"---but if you are in a relationship, and care for someone else, you simply leave that thought were it is. Otherwise, you break all ties and become single, this way you can act on all these impulses with no worries, outside the confines of a relationship and all it's restrictions.

 

Salt

[need2bme]

I am going to let you in on a little secret. As someone wrote above; the grass is always GREENER.

 

Here is the actual secret. I thought a few times the grass was greener. Taking action on this, happened when my GF had broken up with me one of the times she did. The "greener grass" and I did not have sex, but kissed and flirted and talked about stuff, that people who are interested in each other, talk about.

 

I have been online and chatting, on the phone talking (about intimate stuff - we will leave it at that) and never once in those situations, did I mention how much my GF meant to me.

 

IT WAS NOTHING BUT WRONG!!!!!

 

When you love someone, which we all too infrequently get, you should never do those things. When you are with someone, you should never do those things. I will live forever, knowing that I basically cheated on her, by talking to women, about stuff I had no reason to talk to them about.

 

Also, as Belle wrote, you guys were totally different people then. The service changes people anyway. If you do it, you should not do it behind the GF's back. While I don't think she deserves to be hurt, if you care for her at all, it would hurt a lot less finding out from you.

 

Allie:

 

"Never leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love but the one you love will never leave you for the one they like."

 

I like that. Thanks.