Ah jeez

[willodotcom]

Hey everyone,

 

This is kinda a get off my chest post...

 

Met this girl at work and we started chatting online - ended up going and seing movies, going for weekends away and I started to get a crush on her.

 

Now we don't chat at all anymore, all of my suggestions to catch up seem to have some excuse or totally avoided answering.

 

I know she has some stuff going on in her life at the moment, as well as being flat out at work - but that never seemed to be an issue before (and we used to reveal our problems/stresses etc). So now I'm wondering whether she can't be bothered and uses these as an polite excuse...

 

Now the thing is I have a history of anxiety/depression (that she knows about) I often blame myself for other people's actions (perceived or real); most of the time I am completely wrong - and all of this is probably a good example of this very trait - but doesnt make it any less real.

 

I guess I don't know what to do because I don't feel I can trust my judgement on the situation. Part of me worries that she thinks I'm being creepy and thereforeeee I don't want to make it worse by asking what's going on. But on the other hand maybe I'm overcompensating and being withdrawn - I don't know!

 

It hits me pretty hard because I feel quite lonely and without any close friends a lot of time. I care a lot about her and am very happy to be only friends - I have tried to hide my feelings as a result.

 

This is a bit of a ramble - but that's how it comes out I guess.

 

Does anyone have any advice for what I should do? This is driving me nuts.

 

Thanks!

[Maverick32x]

Well, welcome to E-NotAlone. And hmm.... how long ago were you guys hanging out and talking? and how long has it been that shes been withdrawn?

[willodotcom]

Thanks for the reply Maverick32x!

 

Well we were really close about two months ago, and as the weeks have drawn on its got stranger (excuse the pun). We would hardly have a conversation, but then later she would give me a hug and say I was like family.

 

I went away for a month long holiday, and came back only recently. I thought maybe the time away would make things better, but it hasn't. We'd had all these plans to go to different places (national parks etc) but I can't even get a conversation at the moment.

 

In reflection perhaps I'm expecting things to be always like they were, and I guess perhaps that's unreasonable. Good old Pink Floyd:

 

"If I were a good man, I'd understand

The spaces between friends. "

 

But I can't get past these anxious feelings that I've done something wrong that I've said something or I've tried to talk to her too much. And it's like if I talk to her to confirm/deny this, I feel I might shoot myself in the foot (what if I make it worse?)

 

](*,)

[heloladies21]

Situation sounds to have played to completition with this one. Best thing would be to start talking to some other girls. If this is going to be difficult for you, it's time to solve the real problem. Go to these sites for more help

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If you were interested in her, it was a mistake not to show it. Because you didn't show any interest in her as more than a friend, she lost interest in you and that's why she doesn't want to continue anything with you because she doesn't want to waste either one of your time by just being friends.

[willodotcom]

Thanks heloladies21 for the reply.

 

Yeah I've stuffed it up - but that's ok As long as I can learn from it!

 

Thanks for the links - read some Dave DeAngelo before and it helped (but definitely needed the refresher)

 

On to better things!