I can't go on without her

[mustang67]

My wife left me for another man, I cry everyday and just walk around like a zombie. We have two little girls that I love very much and are the only thing keeping me going. But lately I have had suicidal thoughts, I just can't stop thinking about her, why did she do this to me. I don't want to go on without her, I'm scared, alone and just feel done. I want this pain to go away but it just won't.

[friscodj]

Tell us about it bro...

[CamaroJoe]

Alright dude, i know exactly how you feel, because I feel the same way all the time when I think of the girl I lost. She was/is so perfect for me and I don't know what to do about it. I've tried the no contact, didn't work, I tried just being fun around her and accepting her as a friend, didn't work, and I tried treating her as if we were still 'talking', didn't work.

 

But suicide is not the answer. This is going to be really harsh, but you need to be a man. Suicide is a sissy's way out. Show her you can hangle the divorce and all that. It's going to take time and you will ALWAYS think of her and of your children, but to let that drive you to suicidal thoughts is just insane.

 

You are better than that and you know it and you need to show it. It's going to hurt, i feel you right now as I'm writing this i'm thinking of that girl and your heart just climbs into your throat and you just want to throw up and cry. But man, life is what you make it. Just accept what comes to you and run with it. NEVER LET ANYONE AFFECT YOUR LIFE...at least not to this extreme effect. And when you are around her and your children, even if you feel like dying, you have to be strong. The more you act it and say it in your head the more you'll begin to believe it.

 

Trust me, time heals everything. But you must first accept what life brings you before you can move on. It's going to take a long time, but you can do it.

[Cute Band Rat]

Mustang, first off...NO ONE, I mean NO ONE is worth killing yourself over. First and foremost..think of your little girls. They will ultminately pay the price for their mothers poor decison. Is that THEIR fault??They are totally innocent in all this. Secondly...your ex may have left for another man...but guess what? That is NOT a reflection on YOU in ANY way, shape or form. This simply means your ex'es priorities are completely SCREWED up...and god help the man she ended up with, because if she could leave her family , she is capapble of anything. Be glad you dodged this bullet!!

[mustang67]

About three weeks ago my wife said out of nowhere that she doesn't love me anymore, I have had the kids since except one night she took are four year old girl for the night, the next day my daugther said mommy was kissing ken. I asked my wife is she seeing someone she said so what if I am I don't love you. I want to be strong for the girls since I have them all the time but I love my wife still and miss her, I want the family back.

[CamaroJoe]

Oh, and today, since it's been raining all day i've actually given this exact subject a lot of thought. Depression is caused by two factors. Hurt (whatever happens to you to make you feel the sadness and pain) and boredom (too much time in your life to sit around thinking about your sadness and pain)...So my tip to you, even if you are out doing whatever and your mind is still concentrated on your losses, KEEP YOURSELF BUSY AT ALL TIMES! It'll help ease the pain even just a little. But even the smallest things can change the outcome.

[Cute Band Rat]

Mustang I am so sorry you are going through this...and your little girl had to witness this. Your wife oughta be ashamed. Her saying she doesn't love you anymore does not give her a license to act like an idiot as far as being a parent. If I were you I would limit her time alone with the kids as long as ou are still married. She sounds pretty heartless.

[Dako]

I was very suicidal when my wife left, and felt the loss was too devastating to heal from, but I did. I understand the pain when long relationship ends, but you still have children from those years to love and care for.

 

You have a lot to deal with. I'm assuming she took the kids and you're literally alone. Do you have friends or family to lean on?

 

Don't be ashamed to ask for help.

[brando]

I know what you are going through, i have been there, you will get through it.

 

I know it feels like your heart has been pryed from your chest, but you will be ok. ime, and focusing on you are the two healers you need to focus on. The emotions are going to be overwhelming...but pleas eremember it will be ok.

 

Enough said.

 

Take care of you, feel everything you have to feel,

 

be well.

[robowar]

Please think of this when you are in pain:

 

May God grant me the strength

To accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can, and

Wisdom to know the difference.

 

Good luck.

[coollady1957]

I have been following your threads, and I can understand the pain you are going through. For the sake of your children though, you need to stay in this world.

 

I know it hurts, and hurts badly right now. It will be okay. Keep talking to us about your feelings. We are all here for you. I hate that you are having to go through this, I really do. I wish there were some easy way to tell you to deal with it all. but there isn't at this point. Just remember your little girls and that they will need you tremendously.

[red1028]

I know how you feel. My husband moved out 3 months ago and has wanted to come home several times only to change his mind and remain on his own. I have no idea who he is anymore. I feel lost and alone. We have a 4 year old son who he has not shared time with.....I just want to throw up when I think of him "single" and not missing me....He can come and go as he pleases wherever and whenever he wants and I am fully responsible and busy with our son. This is not fair not to mention I feel like I am such a loser. He says he does not want a commitment.......What does that mean? Isn't it a bit late to not want commitment? He says he loves me and is still so attracted to me but doesn't want to pursue the sex with me because he doesn't want commitment. I'm sick with this! Please help

[fishrrshortae]

Your wife sounds totally vindictive and uncaring. She didn't think twice to confuse your daughter and expose her to something that would be traumatic. Please realize that it is normal to be depressed, but you WILL get through it. Your suicide will scar your children for the rest of their lives. See a lawyer immediately to discuss your options, and call around to find out about affordable counseling.

[a bit clueless]

Dude, just think of it. The way your feeling about all of this..if you commit suicide, know how many ppl might think it about you? Don't worry bro im sure you'll get over it. Human nature

[TBAngel]

Please hang in there. I'm in a pretty dumpy situation right now and I won't say it's 100% like yours but I'm crying every day and night as well, but I KNOW that there's a reason for what's happened -- but it doesn't hurt any less. I feel isolated and alone, so I'm there with you!!!

 

I've been literally separated from my ex for almost six years, yes, a long time but although we had different addresses we were still a family. This was bad news because he just wanted his cake and ate it too. But I loved him and felt everything would resolve and the family would come back together. At least she's not playing with you in those terms! You know what's in front of you. I'm having his third child now and he's walked away (from me) so I'm doing it alone and it hurts tremendousley while he's out dating and being "the man" I hadn't wanted to see because I loved him.

 

You ex-wife's obviously not thinking about anything but herself. The mere fact that she left her family and doesn't care if the kids see her dating at this juncture says she's not making rationale decisions. PLEASE stick in there and be the rationale one and the strength for your girls. They need you as much as you need them. My kids are my strength.

 

I have to believe things will get better... so please try to as well. You don't mention the type of relationship you had or how long you've been together (or I did'nt pick up on it). Sometimes there are warning signs we choose to ignore. There is a reason for this, each day should get easier, take it step by step. Do you have strong family support, maybe it's time to reach out.

 

Angel

[mustang67]

Thanks, its just hard not to think about her, I'm home alone with my kids doing the best I can. At night its hard because I am alone knowing she is sleeping in this other guys bed. I just don't know where to go or what to do. I took the kids to the park and zoo but I also found this hard because I saw families taking pictures and I am there by myself with the girls with no one to share it with.