Getting jealous too easily?

[manboy1024]

I've been seeing my girlfriend for a while and things have been going great. She loves me a lot and I do too. Now however she is going to college, while Im stuck in another city. I've already finished college so I'm pretty stable right now, but everytime she calls from college she is always with a lot of people and having lots of fun. Every time I try to talk to her about how I feel jealous and sometimes I feel like I'm second in her life she says she doens't forget about me and she always says she misses me, loves me and everything. The thing is I know about all the late nights, guys, and parties that comes with college. So in my mind its not a matter of when she will break up with me but when. I guess sometimes I wonder if I should just end it so that I don't end up being hurt later on. I don't know, maybe I get too jealous easily or what. I really don't know what to think, I try to tell myself that I shouldn't be so insecure and that she should be lucky to have me but it doesn't always work. Anyways, not really looking for advice, more like just a place to vent. Thanks.

[syborg]

Your insecurities are normal and are absed on what you are "missing out on".

You are stable in your life just now, but she is still a student, having fun, going to parties etc.

 

The points to note are as follows:

 

(1) She still contacts you so she hasn't forgotten you so thats good

(2) She says she loves you and misses you, that is a good sign

(3) Being a student can be quite stressfull and difficult so maybe you are "second" in her life, but thats normal when ppl are distant or have exams and things so don't worry.

 

OK, here is my advice

 

(1) DON'T use insecurities to end what is already good between you. If you dwell on them all the time then you will risk pushing her away. Some girls love it when their b/f''s are jealous, but not when they become obsessive and posessivbe.

 

(2) Talk to her about how you really feel and ask her for your help. If you want her to call you more, tell her, if you want her to e-mail you more, tell her. Tell her what YOU want her to do to help alleviate your fears. With any luck she will think yoiu are soo cute and only be too happy to make u feel better

 

(3) Accpect that wild parties and noise and music are part of student life. How may times have you been to a noise bar or club but never been with another girl ? Just cos she is there, it does not mean she is being unfathfull.

 

(4) Don't break up with her just cos you are scared she breaks up with you. Thats a classic case of "cutting off your nose to spite your face" or "Killing the goose that laid the golden egg" if she ever DOES break up with you then that time will come. Yeah, it will hurt, of course it well, but then again it may NEVER come. Breaking up with her now will just hurt even more.

 

hope this helps

[VIRGOBLAZE]

Hun, I want to point out one thing in your message that your missing, and its pretty key. When she calls she's with people, and it noisy? Well, hun, take a moment to think about this: even in a crowd, shes thinking of you, and wants you to know that she loves you. If anything I think this is a very good sign. If you're having doubts of your own about her, then that is something you need to explore, but it doesnt sound to me like shes giving you up anytime soon.

-J

[Ixtapa]

I agree with the above poster...I actually found out that I miss my guy (LDR) much more when I am out with people and happy. When I am having fun I always wish he was here to share the moment with me. There might be a lot of people around but no one who can make me forget that he is not there !!