Is this wrong

[sweetypie111]

Kay well out of all of my friends I have gone the farthest by getting fingered but I really want to go all the way but I don't have anyone who likes me in that way right now but still I've already been called a and everything but I really don't know I am 14 and I am already having urges to hav sex and go partying and everything but no one asks me to do anything so what do I do?

[Cadence308]

My best suggestion for you is to have some self-respect. If you are getting sexual urges, try to get to know your own body and what feels good before wanting it with someone else. Sex has a lot of risk and shouldn't be taken lightly. thereforeeee, just liking someone is not enough to have sex with them. The best thing for a relationship is to not let it be built on just liking someone or sex, but a good relationship should be built on trust, communication, respect, including self-respect. Sex should make a relationship better. It's like icing on a cake. You wouldn't ice a cake that wasn't baked all of the way.

 

You will get a reputation for being a * * * * if you aren't careful.

[mushroom1129]

i agree Ballys

are you ready for a baby? did you know that u can get STD's just from being fingered and such? (not trying to scare you, just being truthful)

 

people say they regret losing their virginity to someone they didn't love and all that, but i dont regret it all. what i do regret is losing it and then WORRYING if i had any STD's or anything because i was dumb enough to have unprotected oral sex, thinking in a very naive way that you can't catch anything from it. (i dont have any thank goodness)

 

one of my best friends told me she caught genital warts from a guy she slept with only once.

 

in other words i wouldn't do it if i were you at 14

[xprincessbugx]

Have some respect for yourself. It's not a race b/w you and your friends who can get the farthest first. You should be proud that your still a virgin b.c. she's only 14 years old. Take some time out and chill until you find someone you are in love with. You'll regret it if you make stupid decisions.

[good_charlotte_freak2]

Hmm...well i'm gunna be 14 in lke a month. My mom and my older fiend just keep telling me to wait until I at LEAST finishhigh school. They don't wan mem pregnant YET and I'm sure your friends and family don't either. beisdes that can you afford a baby?

[monkey1]

I'd stop fingering and start getting to know girls with their clothes on.

[good_charlotte_freak2]

lol she's a girl

[monkey1]

lol she's a girl

 

Ha, oops!! My bad. Well, in that case ... stop getting fingered and keep your pants on!

[xprincessbugx]

lol............

[nottoogreen]

Hi sweetypie

 

You do not have to give in to peer pressure and throw yourself away.

 

Get to know people without anything physical, talk to boys and girls, understand them, test them. It's amazing what you can learn once you give time and really open your eyes and ears.

 

Your prince will come.

 

P.S. I got started age 23.

[sweetypie111]

but i aint bein pressure i hav been in relationships but its always been the guy thats scared i am the open one i just want to stand out i guess

[monkey1]

Sounds like you want/need attention from guys to like you ... ? Are you insecure?

[blender]

You want to "stand out"? For what? Your body is precious and you should treat it as such, the urges you are having are healthy and normal, it's how you CHOOSE to react to these urges that will define your character...

 

so know that although you are having these urges, it's like anything else in life, it's about having self control and having self respect. You're simply to young to follow through on these "urges".

 

You may not think you are "being pressured" but you are, by YOU... you are doing this to yourself, why do you think having sex will make you "stand out"? And in what way?

 

How bout "standing out" because you are a good person, and fun to be around, happy, charming, confident, lovable, kind?

 

At your age, yes, Sex, can make you stand out all right and you'll end up standing alone, and you have to live with the aftermath, and as a woman it's so much more emotional than as a young girl you can ever anticipate, it's not so cut and dry of an experience, it will effect you deeply and you are too young to handle the emotional consequences...

 

trust me, you are worthy of waiting till you are older... can you tell us how you think you will "feel" emotionally afterwards?

 

Can you even anticipate what it feels like after the sex? Or are you just concentrating on the fantasy of it, because it's not a fantasy once you do it, it's REAL, and it makes you feel many deep response, EMOTIONALLY...

 

Please think this through, all the way to the moment after the sex and the boy is gone and you are alone and you are wondering, "was it worth it or was it better to be in my imagination for awhile till I"m old enough to handle this?"

[itsallgrand]

How do you mean stand out? To be noticed and known to people?

 

Trust me, sweetypie, you do not want to stand out bc of your sexual experiences. That will backfire. When I was your age, there was this girl who was 'the first' to do a lot of things sexually. She had lots of boys and partied. Anyhow, the guys and girls started saying some pretty nasty things about her. The girls in particular were very mean to her - didn't trust her. It got to the point where she had almost no friends and people were making up stories that weren't even true.

 

My point is: Sex is not the answer. It will cause you more problems, some can be very serious.

 

As for craving sex - hey, that's pretty normal at your age. You don't have to act on it. You can wait until you meet someone special. It's worth it.

 

Stand out for who are you. Find something you love and work at it. tc

[Cadence308]

If it makes you feel any better about getting started, some of us on this site are still virgins! Yes, I'm 28 years old and STILL a virgin and I'm proud of it. I've had lots of offers, but I'm waiting for a better one because I respect myself and want to be in love with the other person. I also have commitment and intimacy issuses, but I'll save that info for another thread.

 

Others are right, if you want to stand out then be funny, be cute, be fun to be around, be kind and caring. There's more to you and liking you than just having sex. It's not a race and you are too young and immature to fully understand the repercussions of sex and what comes with it.

 

If you are suffering from low self-esteem and are desiring the attention of men, try getting involved with something that you care about like yoga, pottery, dancing, a book club, drama club, or something else. Those are the kinds of things that will help you build healthy self-esteem, not just having sex and being with a lot of people. Think about your future because you have a lot of it to look forward to and you don't want a child or an STD to be part of your future.