Was I Mollested?

[Happily_Saved]

I've never really told anyone about this. Maybe only 4 people just like that other girl. Since I was born this old man lived with us, he was renting a room off us and i'd go downstairs and watch t.v with him sometimes. He died 5 years ago. When I was 6 years old I went downstairs to watch t.v like usual and he had his pants undone and everything out in the open. I was only 6 so i didnt know better. But he asked me to do stuff, so I ended up doin all this sexual stuff. Take in mind, I was 6 and he was in his late 50's. He also touched me in places. I never told my parents. To this day it haunts me very badly. Was I mollested?

[blonde]

Dear Happily Saved,

 

that you posted your problem here shows, that you already know that this man's behaviour was not normal. He should never have continued touching himself, and he should never ever have you made touching him or touched you.

Don't think this is your fault, it is not.

You should really try to talk to somebody you trust about this, your parents or a teacher maybe. You should then seriously think about counselling, because you are not alone, you will see.

The first step is already done.

 

Good luck,

 

b.

[Happily_Saved]

well you see. i dont think i can tell my parents. The only one that is truly helping me get through this stuff is God but even then he states "The truth Shall set you free" and i dont like the idea of councelling. It's something I'd never go for. Do you think the parents would be understanding?

[winkie]

Yes, you were and the sad thing is, is that you are not alone. One out of 4 women are molested. You really should speak to someone about this, if it still haunts you. They would be understanding because none of this is your fault. They might feel bad for not knowing and preventing this from happening. I was molested when I was younger by my next store neighbor and I spoke to my sister about it. When these things happen the victims tend to think it is their fault and it is not. You need to know that you were taking advantage of and the minute you realize this your healing process can begin.

[faeriechyld]

The only thing your parents will be upset about is that you took so long to tell them! My sister was molested as a child and she didn't come to my parents about it until she was in high school. My mom was very upset because she knew she could have prevented it or something. Why are you so against counseling? It does help, sometimes it's just nice to have someone to go tell your problems to, even if you have to pay them a lot to do it. Plus, they can give professional advice your friends and family cannot give. And they can take a detached view from it as well since they are not as personal with you as others. You should really consider it. I've been through counseling twice and I'm not ashamed.

[garymax]

Hi Happy,

 

The Truth Will Set You Free. Remember, if you are Born-Again as I think you are, your spirit was recreated and you are spiritually alive. Now, you have to go about the task of renewing your mind to get free from this stuff.

 

I recommend talking with a good, anointed, Bible-based counselor--you have to talk to someone about this. It is something which you need to be delivered from and He is more than able to do it.

 

Continue to stay in the Word but get someone to talk to---it was not your fault. There are plenty of folks who will help you but you need to take that first step and reach out. If no one knows about it, they cannot help you.

[sabena]

hello, and congratulations on being so brave and coming forward, it took a lot of guts and don't let anyone take you away.

 

Firstly, as the others have have said not only were you molested, but you were sexually abused. He a grown adult man, took a child of 6 and made her do things that she did not understand was too afraid or unsure to say no.

 

Never, ever think that it's your fault or that you could have done something or that you brought it upon your self or that because you didn't say no that you encouraged it. You sound adult now, and if you were to imagine a little girl, imagine someone you know who is 6 and she comes to you telling you that things are happening what you think?..You certainly wouldn't think it to be the little girl's fault and probably you would look at her and think how tiny and vulnerable she is.

 

Now from personal experiences it is always easier for others to say tell your parents or family but if you feel that it would not benefit you then don't put yourself through that and don't do it. The same goes for counselling. Yes it does work, for some, but for others it doesn't.

 

What I do recommend that you do, which a lot of women have found to be a fabulous help is looing up two books, one is called "The mirror within" by Anne Dickinson and the other is (which is truly a gret book) The courage to heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis. The latter is basically made up of real life experiences of women and how they coped. It will change how you feel and make you feel less alone.

 

You have already made the first step by admitting it yourself and then coming here, so Good for you!..now all we and others can do is help you on this lader...it may not be easy but we will be here..

 

*hugs*

[sabena]

*grins* they have beeped a genuine name!...but i hope you are able to make it out?

[lovelyme4u17]

if you really need to talk hun i am here for you, i have been through the same thing, you can email me at email removed and if not then thats ok if you would like to talk futhermore about this, go ahead and give me an email! i'd be glad to hear from you!

[crazyKate8]

Hi Happily_Saved,

It looks like you have gotten a lot of good advice. I agree that if for whatever reason, you don't feel comfortable telling your parents, you shouldn't feel pressured to.

 

I too was sexually abused when I was young, by a relative. I ended up telling one of my aunts but I could never tell my dad because of fear that he would do something to the abuser out of anger. That is my own reason. However, it is healthy to talk to someone about it. It sounds like you are a Christian...what about a pastor or someone in the church whom you can trust? There are great healing ministries for people who have been through such awful hurts like this.

 

You have taken a positive step to bring this out in the open!

 

 

crazyKate8

[SunnyScott]

Yes that is mollestation.

 

You are a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I'm sorry to hear what you went through. It's haunting a lot of times, but at least, you've gained some perspective from this.

 

1st of all, it sounds like your incident has made you a stronger person, it takes a lot of guts to come forward with your situation.

 

2nd of all, as bad as the situation may be, you are a bit wiser in terms of knwing that some people are really sick. I guess that you could say that this incident will have probably taught you the reality of life, which is that life's not perfect like what Hollywood portrays it to be.

 

For the time being, I thinkt that you should get some 1 on 1 counseling. Check with your community, maybe yellow page. There are community service programs which help sexual assault victims.

 

Venting out will always help...I wish the best of luck for you, and know that you are strong, and you'll make it through this....