SummerLove Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 My bf and I are starting to get more and more serious in the physical aspect of our relationship. We are both 17, both virgins. The thing is, I usually steer clear of any action "down there" for me because its so uncomfortable for me. When I say uncomfortable, I don't mean I don't want him to touch me there or anything. I mean that it is seriously uncomfortable for me. Lately I've been trying to loosen myself up a bit, but its not working! I feel so sensitive down there, almost as if my opening is like microscopic. Its not really pain, more like tenderness. My bf knows how sensitive I am "down there" and usually just passes that option up because he knows how I can't stand it sometimes. I feel like our "fooling around" is unbalanced. I'm also scared that when the option of sex arises, which it has been spoken of as of lately, I'll steer clear just because I'm scared it will hurt like a b----, pardon my french. What can I do to get myself to not be so sensitive down there? Also, Is there any way to know if this guy is "the one" for my first time? Its definitely not going to happen anytime in the near future, but it has been on my mind lately. Link to comment
friscodj Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 What can I do to get myself to not be so sensitive down there? Tell him to try the tongue...you'll be glad you did... Link to comment
ElektraHere Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 yes, I agree with Frisco! The tongue is ALWAYS good!!!!!!!!! ;-) Link to comment
Goincrazy04u Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Dont be scared. its alright. just dont think of what is happing. Link to comment
friscodj Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Yeah, you both are in uncharted territory it sounds. A both scary and exciting situation perhaps. Actually, that is good for you. It will keep you guys from going too far and maybe doing something you will regret later on down the line. So this relates to your other question, how do you know if he is "the one" for you? Well, that's a good question. It's tough to distinguish hormones from infatuation vs. love, especially at your age. The only advice I can give you is not too rush into anything, trust your best judgment, and use protection! But the key is once you decide to go for it, don't second guess yourself and savor the experience... Link to comment
cacain119 Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 frisco gave some VERY good advice. I second him all around. Link to comment
SummerLove Posted June 20, 2006 Author Share Posted June 20, 2006 Is it normal to be that sensitive down there though? I'm just worried that somethings wrong Link to comment
ElektraHere Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Summer it is if your not used to things happening down there. You can't just go from 0-60 down there, especially if not alot of things happen regularly. What is the sensitivity? Pain, too turned on? What?? Link to comment
SummerLove Posted June 20, 2006 Author Share Posted June 20, 2006 Its not pain, just severe tenderness. Like i'll be in the mood, but when I try to do anything it feels incredibly tight and sensitive. Link to comment
SummerLove Posted June 20, 2006 Author Share Posted June 20, 2006 It's getting discouraging now Link to comment
friscodj Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Its not pain, just severe tenderness. Like i'll be in the mood, but when I try to do anything it feels incredibly tight and sensitive. I'd get that looked at right away. Link to comment
ElektraHere Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 I think you may be thinking about it too much. You need to relax, enjoy the time with your b/f, and breathe... Also has he tried his tongue or fingers? Have you touched yourself to see what it is that you like? Then you can show your b/f. Link to comment
Meow18 Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 I also agree with ElektraHere. You might just need to try to relax. If you are nervous or worried about it being uncomfortable, then chances are you won't be relaxed enough to enjoy it. Just keep practicing. I must say though, that if you are doubting him being the right one to do this with, then you should definitely wait. My best advice would be to wait until you have no doubts at all because if you do then there's a chance you might regret it. Link to comment
SummerLove Posted June 20, 2006 Author Share Posted June 20, 2006 He's never gone down on me but has used his fingers. I'd like to explore that territory but I'm just nervous that it might be ..i dunno gross for him. Honestly, do guys care about how it is down there? Link to comment
SummerLove Posted June 20, 2006 Author Share Posted June 20, 2006 The idea of sex just recently became prevelent for me. We haven't seriously spoken of it, but I'm still juggling my options. I don't know if I want to wait until marriage or enjoy it now. (well not NOW... i mean pre marital) Link to comment
friscodj Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Hey Summer- You sound really stressed out about all this, and understandably so. It's good you are thinking about this stuff. That's really good... I have a feeling that once you get over this initial hurdle, you're going to be pleasantly surprised... But seriously, if you are having pain and tenderness down there, it can't hurt to have it checked out... Link to comment
Meow18 Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 He's definitely not going to think it's gross down there. Especially if he loves you. Try not to be insecure about it, that's what is going to make it uncomfortable.. Trust me, he's not thinking about how gross it is. He's thinking more about what makes you feel good. And you know, there's no rush. Wait as long as you need to to make up your mind. Your boyfriend should respect what you want, and he would probably wait forever for you. And if not, then he's not worth it. Link to comment
SummerLove Posted June 20, 2006 Author Share Posted June 20, 2006 He'd never pressure me to do anything. We were just joking around and sex came up and it got me thinking about whether or not I'm ready. Oh, another quick question... My bf says I'm really good at pleasuring him so I made him a deal, if he gave up smoking pot I'd make sure every time we hang out, "fooling around" would be really awesome. I've figured out what he likes best but is this a good idea? He promises he will quit, but I'm scared to believe him because he's been doing it for a year and most of his friends do it. If he did then I'd be so happy. he said he'd be willing to take a drug test later on to prove he quit, but for some reason I feel somewhat guilty.. Whats up with that? Shouldn't I be happy he's kicking the habbit? Link to comment
Meow18 Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Well, the problem is that he needs to quit because he wants to. Obviously saying that you would fool around with him might motivate him, but if he quits for that, it would be for the wrong reasons. Sometimes bribes like that can be good. It would be a good idea for him to quit. Just make sure it's something he really wants to quit, otherwise chances are, the "quitting" won't last. Link to comment
Eric f Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 well its really hard to enjoy any pleasure when you are uncomfortable. maybe your just not ready for that yet. it sounds like you care for your boyfriend alot, i think you feel guilty cause you think you would be making him quit. he should quit because its the right thing to do and it should show him your conncerned about his actions and not have to come to choice in that kind area cause he will prolly expect it all the time, but thats what i think doesnt mean its true. Link to comment
eyeswideopen Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Sounds like you haven't had your hymen... taken care of yet.. I'm trying to use nice terms here. When I was younger and girls had the same issue, the more you play with the down there, the less uncomfortable it gets and the more pleasurable it gets. No need to rush into anything and yes, the tongue is a great place to start. Link to comment
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