Lied but then told the truth

[EveningStar21]

OK here is the story as it goes--

 

I left for the weekend to go to the Rodeo. 8) Fri and Sat I was there got really drunk both nights. Ended up with some HS friends afterwards, both nights. I called my BF (now ex) Sat morning. Chatted everything was fine.

Then I went to the movies with my sister and her BF, Sun night. talked earlier. Then Monday night WE all ( sis and friends) went to the river, all of us spent the night at Sister's friends BF's house with 'rents. Didn't call 'cause I didn't feel like it.

Well he called my sisters cell and left a msg didn't get it until way later. Got home called BF got into a discussion on where I had been and what I had been doing.

He asked about Mon night I lied and said that the girls and guys slept apart. I was the 5th wheel in this whole sitution. I lied until I couldn't lie any longer then I said here is the whole truth. I told him what I did the WHOLE weekend. He kicked me out of the apt and broke up with me.

 

Then the next day he drops off all my stuff in the lawn of my 'rents house. Where I was staying for the weekend. ok so my question is ... i lied to him, just 'cause earlier in our relationship I told him stuff in confidence and he got jealous. SO that is why I lied to him this time.

 

Back to the question... I lied then told him the truth does that make it right for him to JUST dump me like that?

 

Just curious...

manda

[Sgnt_Slaughter]

just put urself into his situation what if he went out and slept with girls? would you of dumped him?

[EveningStar21]

I didn't SLEEP with any GUYS. AT ALL --I don't cheat. He dumped me 'cause I slept AT a guys house, with 6 other people. Who were all in relationships with the person that they were sleeping with. I slept on the couch(s) the whole weekend. Inless you consider that cheating. LOL I think that is why..dunno he wasn't really clear. I want to ask but I don't know! LOL

 

anything else

manda

[Sgnt_Slaughter]

since u put it that way i dont know why he would of dumped u.

 

well best wishes

[EveningStar21]

good i thought i was going crazy..

 

thanks for the reassurance,

Manda

[cands41803]

But if you knew he had a jealously problem, and you knew it would make him mad, why did you sleep there in the first place?

[EveningStar21]

Sleep where? At my friend's houses that weekend or with all my sisters friends at the house? The house because my sister was staying the night and she was my ride. And the friends house because there was no designated driver, I was being safe???

 

i really don't think I have a reason or excuse for what i did, i just don't know what to do.. i love him and i haven't had a REAL relationship in 6 yrs!

 

So I guess I was put in my place. This is really hard on me because he didn't say that he forgives me. I am big on forgiveness.

Plus I am a fixer-upper I have to fix it-- if it is broken and try to make it work.

 

And I took a chance on love and him. So I guess this is my bad. And I deserve what I get.

 

"To err is human to forgive is divine."

 

 

manda

 

ps. I didn't know hanging out with my friends would make him jealous.

[EveningStar21]

I'm screwed....there is not a chance in hell or heaven that he would want to be with me. Honesty is the best policy and I F'ed it up.

 

So your right I deserve what I dished out. Life is all about chances and I'd just wish for the second chance that I shall never get. But you have to realize if he came to me tomorrow and told me that he is seeing someone else. I would have to accept it because that is what I get for not being honest.

 

But I do think that he acted a little harshly and that all his ex-GF's makes me look like a saint.

 

But I just did something very stupid...I wrote him an email, saying all the stuff that I could say because I was very distraute and crying while we were talking on the phone.

 

So my bad...I lied. I shall live my mistake in my heart until I die....

 

Manda

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

I think he might've overreacted coz ok.. it was wrong of u 2 tell a lie.. but what's harder is the truth and maybe he thinks of it as u told him the truth coz u couldn't lie anymore as u were trapped or he's got u nailed or somethin.

 

Tell him how u feel and hav a talk about it. He might not believe u anymore and thinks there's more 2 what u said happened.

 

Happy Heb

[crookster_man]

Hello Eveningstar, what everyone is saying is true. Honesty is the best policy. Lying only creates rifts in a relationship... However in this case I think you missed the bigger picture.

 

Okay you lied, why did he dump you? Obviously there were some other issues at hand here. You don't just dump somebody and drop all their stuff off on a whim. Obviously he had been upset for a while and this was just the trigger that set him off. It doesn't make sense that he would just snap.

 

Were there issues before hand? Have you though about addressing these things? Was it going perfectly then he just dumped you? Probably not. Look at all the angles before you start to get upset.

 

I'm not sure where you want to proceed from here, but what ever you do, look below the surface. I could be completely wrong, he could have just snapped. I know it would take a lot more for me to dump a girl then for one lie. Do you lie often? Is it a problem in the relationship? These are all questions you should answer. I hope I was able to shed a new light on this...

 

Remember, this is just my opinion, I don't claim to know your situation. It just doesn't make sense in my mind for this to be the only reason.

[EveningStar21]

Ok so Fri Aug 1, I went out and hit the town! 'Cause I am single and I have alot to offer a guy...so I went out the bar(s) and guess who I ran into? Yep, my ex who proceeded to bitch me out in public. While I sat there and took it, a whole hr of sh** went down. And that was it. He just wants his money that I "owe" him. But there is a wieght that has been lifted off my shoulders. He said that he needs time and space. And since I do care and do still love him that is what he gets for now.

 

And I did lie..only 2, but he nailed me both times. I do not usually lie, but I got to thinking about it and I came to the conclusion that I was testing him.

 

Because all my other relationships didn't work out just cause I "did" something wrong or said something wrong.

 

And there wasn't nothing wrong with our relationship until I did lie and then I told him the truth. I now know that trust is a very hard thing to get back in a relationship. He trusted me to tell him the truth and I broke that trust.

 

Which I don't know if I shall ever get back. If I do I shall be a very very very lucky girl. For it is all that I can do not to think about what was done and what was said.

 

Doing well...

manda

[EveningStar21]

TO the world of un believers that thought you could never get your ex back...

 

WE are back together! And WE are totally more IN love then WE were before. Also WE are going to have a future TOGETHER! WE are going to get married, have a beautiful babies, and live happily ever after!

 

LOVE to everyone.......

 

MANDA

[crookster_man]

Well good for you. Don't get to carried away now. And make sure to keep the lines of communication open. Honesty is critical, you are one of the lucky ones who gets another chance. Use it wisely, use it well.

 

Good luck, and keep us posted.