Is this madness?????

[geek_grl]

I'm sorta friends with this woman at work...by sorta I mean we chat now and again but don't really hang out together outside of work.

 

Anyway, I'm totally crushing on her and thing is, she's going to be leaving the country in about a weeks time and I probably won't get to see her ever again.

 

I want to be able to tell her how I feel about her before she leaves so I can have some closure, but I don't think I can. I'm too emotionally stunted to have a proper conversation where I have to admit to feelings etc for someone else, I physically get the shakes when I think about talking to her about me crushing on her. I'm too pathetic really.

 

Anyway, if I don't chicken out in actually giving it to her, I've decided I'm going to write her a letter with everything I want to say to her but don't have the courage to.

 

She's straight...and I actually think that she's probably guessed that I'm crushing on her but just hasn't said anything to me because she either doesn't want to embarrass me or she doesn't want to embarrass herself.

 

So my question is...do you all think I should write a letter and actually give it to her or should I just let her go without saying anything? What would you think if you received a letter from someone confessing everything they felt about you? That they were odd or would you find that endearing?

[Spugly Fuglet]

Is this the same gril whos been learting with you like she knows you have this crush? I think you posted some thing ike this befor.

 

OK read your last posts again now, Not being gay or a women its hard for my to pass on my thing of use.

Buy if she knows your gay and that you have a crush on her why not ask her out on a date, just say I would

like to take you out as your going away soon and It would be nice to take you out, no presher just date and

see what she say. If its no sorry im not gay will then ask her out away way as freands that way she

knows you like her and give you a chance to tell her how you feel.

 

I know I said I was not gay but I have been on a gay date with a freand from Art collage.

It was fun and like you it let him get his feeling out into the open. As a strate male it was odd

but I did not shune him I said I was flattered but we could only ever be mates.

I dont know how that made him feel but I did give him the chance to say what he wonted to say.

 

best I can do hope it helps

[geek_grl]

I posted earlier that I was crushing on her yes and yes it's the same girl. As I said we are sorta friends now, but at work only.

[mccarleighp]

its not really about what she will think its about what u will think about not giving it to her i think go for it and give it to her whats the worse that can happen good luck

[Cadence308]

I think that you should write her a letter and give it to her when you know that you won't have to face her again at work. What do you have to lose?

[patch2006uk]

If she doesn't feel the same way as you, would that not just mean the last few weeks you get to spend together at work could be awkward?

 

What are you haping to achieve from sending this letter? Do you want her to stay with you and not leave the country? Or do you just literally want to get it off your chest?

 

I think you sending a letter could just cause a lot of confusion and as she is leaving the country, you will ultimately just get hurt.

 

Personally, I'd enjoy the time i'd got left with her, and leave it at that. But that's just me.

[gigglyfreedom]

yes, i think you should post her a letter - but make sure you definetely wont see her again. Just keep it honest and straight-forward, but keep the tone 'bouncy' and happy rather than extremely 'passionate' or romantic as that could potentially freak her out - and true enough, u may not see her again (in which case it wouldnt matter), but its always better (for you) that she remembers u in a positive light.

 

also make sure only SHE gets the letter/reads it, so think carefully about hw yll send it; deliver it.

 

Good luck

[geek_grl]

If she doesn't feel the same way as you, would that not just mean the last few weeks you get to spend together at work could be awkward?

 

It may be a little bit awkward initially but I think I've reached the point now where I will just have to deal with it best I can. Besides, a few weeks of embarrassment is better than a lifetime of regret and I know I will always regret it if I don't do this.

 

What are you haping to achieve from sending this letter? Do you want her to stay with you and not leave the country? Or do you just literally want to get it off your chest?

 

I'm not hoping to achieve anything, as I said it's more of a kind of closure for me, a goodbye letter and just letting her know how much she really means to me. It's not an option that she won't leave the country.

 

Thanks for all the comments guys. I've already decided to give her the letter, it was just matter of finding out whether that would be considered weird or not.

 

I just hope I don't chicken out at the last minute. Will keep you all posted of the outcome.

[patch2006uk]

that's cool then, i just wanted to check that you'd thought about the reasons for sending this letter, and what you hoped to achieve.

 

i hope you manage to tell her everything you want to say to her. I'm sure you won't chicken out now you've decided it's what you want to do.

 

all the best

[xoxevanescencexox]

Tell her before its to late!!

Whats the worst that could happen...?

[Tigris]

I think you're doing the right thing. I wish I'd been able to have closure in 1999.

 

Good luck

[geek_grl]

Well...I gave her the letter. After a panic attack that sent me home from work and 2 days to get used to the idea that she now knows about my feelings for her...I honestly don't really know what I'm supposed to be feeling. Everything's all over the place at the moment.

 

Maybe the sense of closure will come with time?

 

All I can feel right now is a sense of desperation and depression that someone I love is going to be out of my life soon...and even though she doesn't love me back the way I want her to, I still don't want to not see her again ever. Is that pathetic? To settle for friendship even when I know I want more just so I can be a part of her life?

 

Can someone explain to me why life would be so cruel as to let your heart find someone but then to have that person not love you back? And although you know you shouldn't be falling for a straight woman, your heart just refuses to listen because in the end you can't help who you fall for right? The really funny (not in a har har way) is that I still have hope. Even after everything...the leaving...the fact that she's straight...a part of me still has hope that maybe she'll love me back the way I want her to.

 

I know...you guys don't need to tell me that's stupid talk. I'm intelligent enough to know that it's never going to be that way...but that's the thing with hope. You can't rationalise or explain it with intelligence...even when you know it's never going to be...hope just doesn't fade easily.

 

Unrequited love sucks. At the moment all I want is for this pain to end so I can feel ok again, so I can have the energy to do other things beside sleep.

[lil_kaila]

The fact that you still have hope is perfectly normal. That's how we humans survive and cope with things.

 

You are right, I think your closure will come with time. In a while you will look back at this whole thing and think: What the heck was I thinking?

 

For now: Say strong! Big hug!!!!!

[Spugly Fuglet]

How did it go?, did she call?

If she has gone over seas now, I hope your ok

[Tigris]

Please keep us informed.

 

Are you ok?

[geek_grl]

Am I ok? No, not really.

 

I'm hurting like hell and all I can think about is her. I'm feeling so much pain that I'm amazed there's no actual bleeding to accompany the pain.

 

She hasn't gone overseas yet, one more week to go before she does and the thought alone fills me with such depression. I'm actually planning not to be at work on her last day here, I don't think I can handle the actual departure.

 

Cowardly? Maybe. But I've already said everything I've wanted to say in the letter and I know having to physically say goodbye to her is going to kill me even more.

 

And oh yeah. She was very nice and polite about the letter. She emailed me a thank you note saying that she appreciated my words, that she was grateful we were friends and that she was only an email away if I ever wanted to talk to her.

 

We haven't really had a proper conversation since Monday, the day of me giving her the letter. When we see each other at work it's more like a "hi, how are you" kinda thing in passing. Not that I've made the effort or anything but then again neither has she really.

 

This may sound odd but I just want her to go already so I can start getting over her. It's easier to get over someone when they're not constantly around.

[Tigris]

It could take you a long time for the feelings to subside. I know this from experience because it took 3 years for the feelings of one of my crushes to go before I could move on. She affected me very deeply.

 

I hope it doesn't cause you pain for as long as mine did.